Better late than never... presenting da da! The apples and pears

'sup dawgs?

Yeah, so it has been a coupla weeks, and I've gone completely gangsta. It is awesome, now I walk with a swagger and I have lots of hos and dogs and I wear bling. What is that? 1999? Oh.

Well, fact is I haven't actually gone gangsta, I've more gone work/couch/work. And on Saturday mornings the riverside market in Lower Hutt owns me. I hate to be bossy, but y'all must go there. The fruit and veges are good, great really, however, the best thing is the bread. Holy crap. There is a stall that has the most amazing array of delicious bread I have ever had the pleasure to taste. This week we got focaccia, 6 grain loaf, raisin and caraway loaf (my favourite), turkish bread, apple danishes and some gorgeous italian bap things. I will never deign to touch a loaf of bread from the supermarket again (that was an outright lie, I am the market's fair weather friend). Grab a coffee while you're there from Espresso Rescue, it is to die for (I say things like this, since rather than be gangsta perhaps I'll go for being drama queen).


My baby is splendid. She is 6 months soon, and possibly the most delectable little piece of gorgeousness in the world. I'm feeling great, and would like another 10 babies now, but I think I'll have to get one of those Indian surrogates, because I can't really be fagged with all the pregnancy shizz again.


Business is booming. I'm touching wood as I write that though, 'cos I'm sure the recession will make it out to Petone at some stage and I'll be eating my words, or perhaps it won't and Petone will be a lovely little bubble of recession-denial.


Right, I appear to still have the ability to write more than 140 characters together, but I don't seem to have the power to make it cohesive or meaningful. Welcome to my world.

48 Hours

My clever friend Tinks entered the 48 hour film thingymajig, here is his film. I think it is very, very funny. Very dry.

It is 7 minutes long.

Puddle Finishing School, Part IV Church Protocol from Momentum Studios on Vimeo.

Total Eclipse - literally

My project of bringing back "literally" just got some strong support, from Bonnie Tyler.

I know most of the world has seen this, but it still makes me giggle, a lot. A lot. Please leave a note with your favourite line. Mine is near the end.

Time for some random lovin'

• I am an apple and pear printing machine. The shop will shortly be full of items bearing apple and pear images. Sorry owls, I still likes ya, but my heart now belongs with the fruits. I will post photos tomorrow (setting myself a deadline).
• We have rearranged the menu at Babylicious. I still want to move the scroll bar and banner, but sometimes Glen takes 10 years to convince. I think it is much better, and it will make adding extra products much easier (we've decided to add 5 products a day before we can watch and Green Wing).
• The chiddlers and I went to a splendid birthday party in the land that time forgot, today. Well, Whiteman's Valley is the official name. It was all misty and felt about 7000 miles from home. I felt very slightly claustrophobic driving there, because of all the mysticalness. Mind you, I felt quite claustrophobic after we got the underfloor insulation this week, so I'm not to be trusted.
• Thanks to everyone who voted for my frock in the challenge. We won! I'm expecting a knock on the door any minute from Vogue for assistance in their layouts.

Voting time!

The lovely Megan has challenged readers to come up with an outfit:

If a dashing young(ish) man approached you on the street, and wanted to whisk you off for a romantic and unexpected date, featuring dinner and dancing and assorted fun times. What would you wear?

I had some fun in the middle of the night, feeding the mostbeautifulbabyintheworld, playing on Polyvore (first timer), and came up with this:

Yellow by Wandaharland

Go on, vote for me! Or don't if you prefer someone else's choice, but go on! Or if you don't feel inclined to vote, perhaps buy me the outfit?

Also, suggestions for who the young(ish) bloke might be are welcome. There was one in mind who certainly isn't in the twilight of his years. Ohmigod, biggest clue ever.

Mememememe with unfortunate spacing issues...

What is your current obsession?
Red Kenwood hand blender, the latest in a bizarre appliance obsession. The appliances themselves are not bizarre, but suddenly wanting them?

What is your weirdest obsession?
The shop allows many obsessions. Things with swear words on them, things made of teatowels, owls, pigs, horses with hair-dos...

What are you wearing today?
Chalky Digits merino top (love selling clothes!), old shitty black merino under, skirt from um..Gregory? Completely impractical white-ish suede boots, because I like to challenge practicality with things that will become ruined in two wears, and a foxy pendant from Meadowlark. I'm not all about pimping the shop, but you did ask.

What's for dinner?

Quesadillas, salad, Stone's Green Ginger Wine (totally medicinal, to treat alcoholism).

What would you eat for your last meal?
Gusto's premium Angus rib-eye w Manchego butter, hand-cut fries & jus followed by one of their cheese plates.

What's the last thing you bought?
Inside Out magazine and Lego Pirate SomethingorothertotallyabribeforMalo from Moore Wilson's. Or if you really want to know, lots of stuff for the shop (today I ordered Envirosax, Longest Drink cups, Nature Baby, pinboards...).

What are you listening to right now?
Swish of the washing machine, hum of the heater.

What do you think of the person who tagged you?
I only met Sas once, before she buggered off overseas. She is a hilarious writer, and I suspect a completely fabulous person. If she ever returns to our shores I'd definitely like to go out on the razz with her.

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
New York, although I've never been there, so I'm completely basing it on tv shows. Probably, if I were sensible and went for somewhere I have been, then Barcelona.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
To Tokyo, to see my lovely sister and her family.

Which language do you want to learn?
LOL speak.

What is your favorite colour?
At the moment yellow, but I'm very faddy and disloyal to colours.

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
Pink, 70s, swirly halter dress I wore when I was about 19.

What is your dream job?
Shopkeeper (fortunately).

What's your favourite magazine?
Inside Out, it is the only decor mag that makes me like my house when I read it.

If you had £100 now, what would you spend it on?
This, I realise I'd have to supplement it with approximately $20000.

Describe your personal style?
Erm, buy something quite boring and wear it for way too long - WITH A NECKLACE. Edgy.

What are you going to do after this?

Try and stay awake to watch Rove.

What are your favourite films?
God, I dunno. I really want to see the new Transformers movie, but that is because the children have been messing with my brain, clearly.

What's your favourite fruit?
Raspberries.

What inspires you?
People who quit what they're doing and do something they want to do, no matter what it is.

Do you collect anything?
Art, piles of paper, receipts.

Your favourite books?

I am so handsome. This book is fricking brilliant, and makes me laugh every time I read it.

What are you currently reading?
Twitter.

Go to your book shelf, take down the first book with a red spine you see, turn to page 26 and type out the first line:
"Massage & Bath topless". I really wanted to cheat, since it is a book of photos, fortunately the photo had some dead classy words.

By what criteria do you judge a person?
Whether they shudder at the paraphernalia in the shop with rude words, or the irreverent Jesus stuff.

What skill would you like to acquire immediately?

I'd like to be able to bash out tunes on a guitar or piano for singalongs.

The rules:
1. Respond and rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention, add one more question of your own.
2. Tag eight other people. Tagging, with love:Make Tea Not War, Hana, Wendy, Rose, Oy Vey, Lara, Harvest Bird, the Pretties, Emma (even though she has something brewing), Styler

Oops, I just kept on tagging. I wanted to tag more people, but since 10 is excessive enough, please consider yourself tagged if you're at all interested. I may or may not have fulfilled the criteria for finishing this meme.

The Queen of Vague Proclaims and Decrees

Pantyhose companies, please brand your product, so that when a pair of tights is brilliant the owner can replace it with another pair, and not risk the crap-tights-of-doom scenario which so often afflicts one.

You may have this idea for free. Might I suggest somehow embroidering it onto the waist band.

Yours etc.

Queen of Vague Notification

I'm far to lazy and vague to check whether I've recommended Fuck You Penguin here before, so I'll recommend it now.

I recommend Fuck You Penguin. It is hilarious.

Toodles.

It has been 10 days since my last confession

• We bought a very Design*Sponge project chair on Trademe. I'm saying it here to force us to actually tart the thing up, otherwise you could call it a total Nana chair, and in our tiny house exploding with furniture, this is not such a smart move.
• The red-headed child is a terrible, terrible sleeper. I don't feel wretched with it, like my experience with previous babies I have known, but I have had to let go of being brainy at all. I am now the Queen of Vague.
• Today I have committed our Babylicious and Dishy businesses to a selling trip to the big gift fair in Auckland in August/September. I'm doubting my sanity, we did it last year and it was hard work, but you know, snooze you lose.
• I'm going to put a pig themed window display in the shop tomorrow. Snappy ideas for words welcome. Upon thinking about it we realised we have a lot of pig paraphenalia, so Viva la Pork! Free le bacon! Crate Miss Piggy!
• Have an irrational desire to read Twilight books. Send help.
  

Very Serious and Important Reviews of Important Things

Banoffie Pie Toffee Pops:
In a moment of online shopping weakness you may find yourself adding Banoffie Pie flavoured Toffee Pops to your order. Might I suggest you pause, and decide for yourself whether or not you really think banana flavoured bickies are going to be yummy or a bit creepy. I'll leave it there.
Twilight
Worth watching twice, if only to see it knowing why Edward looked so, erm, constipated all the time (the answer is angst). I enjoyed it, I think maybe it is the modern equivalent of Dirty Dancing, without being as totally awesome, and with an appropriately aged teen heart throb, as opposed to Patrick Swayze. Since seeing it I have spent too much time thinking about whether Bella and Edward should hook up, and I totally think that Edward should have gone for someone older, maybe about 36ish, because someone that age is a lot less flighty, and may already have a family and have all that stuff out of her system. Just saying.

If you can't laugh, what can you do?

From the fabulous Mike, my favourite piggie joke, I'll be yelling it when they cart me out of here:

I have Swine Flu, call a hambulance and make sure there's plenty of oinkment.

The world ticks along, since I lost wrote we're in the midst of an almost pandemic, of a flu with an even more amusing name than the bird flu. I've got a cold. I'm trying to be very brave and not put two and two together, but you know I WAS AT AN AIRPORT LAST WEEK.

Okay, I'm not in the slightest bit concerned. I felt a lot worse when I had a hangover a few days ago, after I drank no less than 6 bottles of Fiasco wines with charming and badly-leading-me-astray friends. And I haven't got any fever, but I would be open to lashings of home baking, delivered to our doorstep right this very minute.

I did have some sort of paranoid delusional hallucination type things last night, related to too much watching Dollhouse, and fear of the effect Twitter is having on my own ability to write. I think Twitter is much scarier than Google, and they'll own everything and everyone soon, you heard it here first.

On the general news front, the boys are tall and handsome, the baby is petite and rolling and gurgling and gorgeous, and she is a redhead! We're quite surprised, but go a couple of generations back, and there are a few. I'm jealous, she'll never have to put Effecton Mahogany Copper in her hair.

The shop is bloody fun. We've had some clothes in, and they continue to sell well, so I feel like that particular experiment is a great success, and other good stuff too, like handbags and la la la. Come in and see.

There goes my attention span, fully expired.

Mwah.

No Country for Old Men

Review:

That Spanish bloke was good. Josh Brolin was good. That sheila from Trainspotting was good. Tommy Lee was good, much better than in the movie with Pammy. The Mexicans were good. Then I fell asleep. I hear that it wasn't a fairytale ending.

Ear worm

I tried to sneak this onto Glen's cellphone as the ringtone. I won't go into the numerous reasons I couldn't, but they had nothing to do with my skillz, and everything to do with a website that starts with V and ends with odafone.



I've had this song going through my head for approximately 3 weeks, it cracks me up, and I think I must be about 12 years old. I don't feel too badly though, Harvestbird put me onto it, and she is like, a TOTAL brainiac.

New stock arrived today

I immediately stole "confused" and wore it in the shop. Most of the others were applicable, but "confused" sums me up at the moment best.

I blame tax returns.

I'm prepared to admit this is the cutest girl baby ever

Lucinda
Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

Nothing much

• Please, how are the people on Grand Designs so damn rich?
• In notes of shallowness, I finally chose a new bag, it is PRETTY.
• And I went to the MAC counter and let them stick stuff on my face, and then went "yes yes yes", and was very relieved that I had vouchers to pay with, 'cos eek. Mind you, I only buy makeup about once a decade, so I'm okay.
• We're heading up to Te Kopuru via Whangarei tomorrow for Glen's grandma's funeral. She lived a long and fruitful life, and I think it will be a good experience. Plus Lucinda will meet her Nana for the first time, which is lovely.
• Our crops are spent (well, our cherry tomatoes, nothing else really took). What shall we plant next?
• I made quilts! It was fun, and would make a quilter keel over dead in horror, such is my technique. I probably won't make more, because I think two were fun and more would be really tedious.
• Did I mention the pox? Oh, I did? Well they're gone, never to return. THANK SWEARWORDIDONTUSENOWBECAUSEIMAPROFESSIONAL (except when talking).
• We watched approx 2 minutes of No Country for Old Men the other night, and it was pretty grim, should we persist? Bearing in mind we're total soft-cocks now.
  

He died. His poor, poor family. Whoorl has written a beautiful piece about him here.

There but for the grace... and all that

I was going to have a whine about the fact the baby has chicken pox, and go on a bit about what a lovely day we had, but it all pales a bit in comparison to this.
I've been reading Gorillabuns for a few months, since we have babies the same age, and she writes so truthfully about it all, and also has a good healthy hankering for some vodka. I can't imagine what she is going through, but I'm sending all the powers of the universe I can conjure up for her little boy.