Tuesday, December 27, 2005

and ps

I probably won't be writing anything until I get back. Until then I thought I could give you a few songs to get stuck in your head.

1. Bag of money - Barnaby Weir (stuck in my head now for 2 days)
2. Fame! I wanna live forever, I wanna learn how to fly - high!
3. Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock
4. Day-o, the Banana Boat song
5. There's a fraction too much friction.

They should keep you going for a few days. Feel free to add more. It is good to be mean.

Holiday update

Having a very pleasant time still. We're in Christchurch, and we're driving to Geraldine tomorrow for a night, then Moeraki for a night (and a meal at Fleur's) and then down to the Catlins for 2 nights. We're not sure how to proceed after that, but basically we need to catch the ferry home on the 3rd.

Today I had a retail bonanza. Like everyone else, I'm all scathing of the whole Boxing Day frenzy, but seemingly, like everyone else, I'm deadly curious about all the bargains and so ventured into town. Man I hit the jackpot. Cheapskates had 50% off the sale price of everything, and when I got up to the counter with my booty, the woman said "yesterday this would have cost $100, how much would you like to pay today?". I was confused. I thought I was going to pay $100. So I said "$50?", and she replied "How about $60". Man. Do you know what I got for that?

1 pair Huffer jeans
1 pair Urchin shorts
1 black huffer top
1 long sleeved black Hurley top

We went back a bit later for some more stuff, but by then they had clicked that by the time people were at the counter, they didn't need to offer ridiculous discounts. 50% off the sale price was fine.

What a boring story. Unless you're in Christchurch in which case you should go and buy some stuff.

To ensure our brains didn't liquify with all the vaccuous shopping activity we went to the Christchurch Art Gallery in the afternoon. There was an amazing exhibition of Korean found art. It was varied and excellent. Some fricking dickhead told my cousin off for accidentally bumping a picture. Some people need to get a life. I evilled him a great deal, and I hope his karma is SHOT for being mean to a lovely young man.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Ho ho ho

Merry Christmas all.

We are in Christchurch in the bosom (he he bosom) of the whanau. It is lovely. There are children and presents and we are full of chocolate and liquorice.

We arrived yesterday from Hanmer. Hanmer was gorgeous. We went to the hot pools and it rained on us, which is the very best way to enjoy hot pools. Malo sprung a bloody leak on his face in the evening, so there was a bit of late night doctor action. He has a wee strawberry mark thing he knocked off, so not a big deal, but it wasn't going to stop gushing.

Finn is 3, and quite surprisingly in the midst of a very teen obsession with my lovely cousin Annabel. He woefully asked Glen if he was a small boy, and is Annabel a big girl. He seems to have calmed down a smidge. The arrival of my dashing cousing Jesse certainly caused some jealousy. I guess from here on in I kind of understand what it is like to be a mother-in-law.

May you all drink too much and eat too much and write about it in the morning.

Mwah mwah.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

On the road again

We're in Nelson. It is warm and pleasant, and I'm full of raspberries and icecream.

The ferry was warm and busy, but not altogether an unpleasant experience (which is saying something - I'm very prone to seasickness).

I managed to pick Alan out from all the other dads, and met his lovely family. They even shouted Glen a tea. He wasn't geeky, so for a while I'd been eyeing up people who didn't match his description at all.

Not much else to report. The drive through the Sounds was spectacular. We schemed about a move down there. We had some yummy steamed mussels at Mussel Boys in Havelock. They were delicious. Very odd to go to a cafe that doesn't have an espresso machine. Places that aren't Wellington can be a bit different.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Out of sequence photographic storytelling

Photo evidence of Martha and Alex's big nite out.
November-December 2005 065
This is a pretty blurry photo. I look okay, but Alex is much handsomer in real life.

I should skite about how the waiting-to-be-wedded were in fact set up by me in a stroke of brilliant match making genius.
November-December 2005 063
And here are Mitch and Cam. I hope they don't mind being in my blog. They're ace though, and goodlooking, so we all end up looking good. I told Mitch the same stories about 30 times on Saturday, but Mitch and I have been friends a long time, and I'm pretty sure she is used to it.

We're all going on a summer holiday...

We're off on Wednesday. We're catching the ferry and then driving to Nelson for a couple of nights. We then drive to Hanmer Springs for a night and a dip. We'll spend Christmas in Christchurch, and our only other concrete booking are two nights in the Catlins on the 30th and 31st.

It seems so wide open and luxurious to have all this meandering time. Glen is off this very minute trying to find a cable to hook the iriver to the car stereo. Santa has already popped in early and dropped of Finn's bike. Bloody Santa got the bloody colour of it wrong too.

I'm recovering. It is fair to say that I'm not planning on ever touching another drop of alcohol as long as I live.

Well, maybe just one drink.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

and more

I may just be ready to talk more specifically about my day yesterday.

Alex and I met at 11.45 at the Matterhorn for a bit of lunch. I had two very delicious fruity cocktails, and Alex had a bottle of rose. I helped Alex finish the rose and he suggested another bottle. So we got a nice Alpha Domus Semillon. Then we thought it would be a much better idea to drink beer (are you begining to understand why I have the worst hangover of my life?), so we got stuck into some Coopers Sparkling Ale, which I think is about the nicest beer ever. Details are a little sketchy from here on. We went and had a look at the Workingmens Club. Yuck. So we didn't stop. We popped into Fidals and consumed something, and then went on to Havana bar and had a couple of mojitos, and ran into some friends. Then we went to Midnight for some nachos. Then we went to Good Luck and I had a cheeky darky - chocolate martini. Then we went to Bodega and there was an african dance party downstairs with free beers. And upstairs Cassette played and some other bands and they were great. And then we went back to Matterhorn and had some more Coopers Sparkling Ales.

Throughout the evening there were a smattering of people we knew and lots of musical people.

And now I feel sick again.



i am so hungover.

can't really type lying down.

epic night. well, day/night 14 hour drinking session. 'kinoath.

saw lots of celebrities. ended up sitting with anika moa, who is about the most beautiful woman i have ever laid eyes on.

going to die now.

bye bye

Friday, December 16, 2005

Best Man

I'm a best man. Not so much a man, and certainly not the best at much, but in less than a month I'm my dear friend Alex's best man.

Tomorrow is the stag do. I volunteered a trip to Mermaids, but it wasn't taken up with quite the enthusiasm I'd expected (although in hindsight THANK GOD).

We're going to start of nice and slow, with lunch at the Matterhorn, and who knows what manly hi-jinks will follow. I've readied myself with an amusing ball and chain, some shaving cream and a hooker. I can't wait.

Guess what I'm doing...

Good gracious. What a swell day. Although there is a heinous traffic jam which prevented people from travelling to the Hutt to see me.

We've had a very nice picnic and the lovely Percy's Reserve. And when I got home my new toy had arrived! If you look closely you'll notice it is playing nice bogan music befitting someone who lives in the Hutt. Actually, because I have some credit still left with Coketunes, I have downloaded some fairly *erm* mainstream music.

I love the iRiver. I feel like it is the first time I've heard good sounds for eons. Our good stereo is in the sleepout, so it is fair to say that we have suffered poor audio for quite a while.

And Emily, the t shirt is from Ripe in Moera. I'm not sure if you can get them anywhere else. It is LOVELY.

Blurry me in my new t shirt

The camera is working again. Praise be.

Happy happy joy joy!

I'm old!

And I got surprises! It is fair to say that I am not very good at present time, as I'm a sneaky kid like on Scooby doo.

But Glen pulled one out of the bag this year. First up I got a very cool "Petone T Shirt". Then the piece de resistance - the above Louis Ghost Chair.

I can't take any photos as the camera has chosen today to die.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Prize Giving

(James Earl Jones Voice) An important day, a day that will live long in history.

You are all stellar examples of commenters. In you we see the future, and it is good.

(Yoda voice) Good you are. Happy I am. Prizes there are.

50th post award - Hers! Well done.

100th post award - Pamela's workmate! Well done, quite an achievement, now go forth and blog.

Pathos - Emily - well done! You used the word travails, which is good. I want to seem a bit more intellectual, and you raised the bar.

Humour - you're all so damn funny. Alan gets a point FOR THE CHILDREN, but I don't want to appear to be stalking him. David wins as well, but then loses for not being counted.

Oh team, you're all such champions. Please email me your addresses (my email is on my profile) and leftover chocolates, stickers, condoms etc will all be winging your way when I remember to do it.

Now there is commitment.

Whaddaya mean you're still using the Yoda voice?

Not a post

I'm not posting this, as the 100 comments haven't yet been reached. If they're not reached soon there will be no chocolate left.

That is all I'm saying.

Apart from about birthday pressies. I've got some! Today in the mail I got a nice Dish magazine, I'm sure the promotions people sent it out because they knew it was almost my special day, and the little brochure about buying a subscription was surely a joke.

And I got a singlet from Glen's mum, very nice.

And my sister sent me some lovely goodies from Japan.

And I have a small music player arriving tomorrow - wahoooo. It is an iRiver, but not the U10, this one has more memory (still only 5GBs) which will be PLENTY. And it has a radio. It is called the H10 if you're curious. I'll photograph the lovely beastie when it gets here.

But I'm not posting any of this until you all comment some more.


Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Whoring Comments

Why don't we all try and get me 100 comments?

To make it more exciting there will be a prize. In fact several prizes. There will be spot prizes for humour and pathos. There will be a prize for comment 50 and comment 100. These exciting prizes will consist of exciting found objets from around our exquisite mansion. There may be some stickers, a couple of choccies from my birthday box (although I haven't got it yet, I know where they are), an condom or two (new!), some teeth whitening strips. These prizes will be heirloom pieces of 21st Century New Art. Just wait til I'm famous to recoup your efforts.

Inspiration for this challenge comes from bloody bastards who get hundreds of comments without trying, and Alan who got 100 some time ago (but I couldn't find the link).

And to get things started I'll tell you a secret. Macleans Whitening Strips. They're fantastic, and only $14 at Woolies this week. Try them, you'll be impressed and not need to go to the dentist for 10 years.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


How exciting. I'm a student again! I'm thinking orientation gigs, the student bar, classic hi-jinks, stealing the other school's mascot, initiation... what the?

I am looking forward to it. I'm doing Advanced Public Relations and Political Communication (2 papers, not one with a really long name). The lectures are 4 hours long. We probably should have kept the coffee cart so I could take it to classes. I'll just have to make do with a thermos.

Now I just need a backpack and a new pencil case and I'll be sorted.

Monday, December 12, 2005


This is the last Monday I will be 32. Soon my profile will read 33. I will be mid 30s soon. Does that make me middle-aged? Do people realise that I am still younger than Kylie and Jennifer and Sarah Jessica? Does that make me a MILF? I want to be a MILF. But I wear glasses, and you know what they say.

Life is getting very very deep these days. Watch out. I'll start blogging about ISSUES soon. Heaven forbid.

More rampant consumerism

Hell, lets admit it. I like stuff. Especially gorgeous stuff, and today I am drooling over this
I've decided that it will require a trademe mission - ie. I'll have to sell crap up the value of gorgeous clock radio.

On a less restrained note, I have just bought this
It is actually a necessity, almost like buying groceries or paying a gas bill. Well, a little more like buying chocolate and cake, but still necessary.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

All better now

Yippee, no-one can accuse me of dwelling on things.

I'm happy the cart has a new home, and I'm happy for the room it has left in our back yard, and the space that has been filled in our bank account, and I'm happy that the new owners love coffee and will use it as it was intended. And I'm happy that I can maybe buy a mini Mazzer now... and just maybe a Rocket... ooohhhh

And I'm happy that this morning rather than feeling like we had to stay home for coffee, we were able to walk down to Go Bang and have a delicious cup made by someone else.

And I'm happy that Fly My Pretties was so brilliant. I'm amazed by the talent in this town. Bloody clever young people. Perhaps I should have kept up the violin, piano, clarinet etc. Except that I truly believe that you can tell at a young age if you have any talent or commitment, and I didn't have either.

It was a fantastic show. It was like a modern take on a variety show I reckon. I'm not very good at naming music genres, but I'm pretty sure they covered most of them last night. That Hollie Smith. Man, what a voice. Sam Scott, brilliant (and Emily got a shout out. Last time I got a shout out, I got was at a Toy Love concert when I was about 8). And Barnaby Weir was brilliant. And Age Prior. And big shout out from me to Brendan Moran. He was so so good. He played one of my favourite shows ever in Hasselhoff in someones flat in Willis St, and the guy is brilliant still.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Bye bye

November-December 2005

I'm like Mr Potatohead in the ad crying at the window.

And I'm italics, and they won't go away. Today sucks.

RIP Bambino 2005-2005

Devastated, gutted, traumatised...

Bambino is gone. Well, strictly speaking Bambino is outside our house, and my pocket is full of dollars, but soon he will be gone.

The days of having a very expensive toy in our backyard are over.

I'm sad. I don't normally care about things like this. I laughed all the way to the bank when we sold our bach, chortled when I sold my shop, was jubilant when we sold the apartment.

But I'm not coping with this. I may have to go and spend some of the monies on a nice new grinder.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Ohmigod it is lurve

I'v been tossing up for weeks now about which portable music player to go for. Each has its own individual charm - the ipod is goodlooking, has huge storage and plays video. I just don't feel like it is right though. There is a cool Toshiba Gigabeat, which is ace of base, bit cheaper and has 40gb, but it is a wee bit chunky.

Today I was geeking my way around the new Noel Leeming Connect, and the salesman gave me a total jewel to hold. The iRiver U10. It is so new that it isn't on Noel Leemings website, but you can check it out on the iRiver website.

It is teeny, and spunky, and an alarm clock, and gorgeous. It is also only 1gb. It plays radio! Oh I'm so torn.

Geek mummy

It seems my Steiner education has come back to bite me on the bum. It has turned me into a bit of a hippy.

We had the kindy Christmas party last night, and I was frankly SHOCKED at the food and beverage on offer. They had those cheap fizzy drinks for the kids (not that I think expensive ones would have been better), chippies, chocolate, iceblocks and sausage sizzle. I got a firm "it is Christmas" when I queried the fizz. They're bloody 3 and 4 year olds! They think watered down juice is yummy!

Of course it was a total sugar fuelled frenzy.

Apart from my problems with the food it was really good. Zappo performed. I think that guy must do very well. One of the teachers was certainly swooning (although I'm pretty sure he is playing for the other team).

I was in charge of grog - yay! Sold masses too. Tip for drunk dads: the volunteer/s manning the grog don't think you're funny and don't give a rats arse whether you like your beer colder.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Please take a minute to vote

Please vote for Llew. He has promised some chocolate and lots of kegs to anyone who does, and is going to have a massive party with exotic dancers, Paris Hilton's pointy nipples, The Wiggles, Mosaic Tiling, Jessica Simpson NAKED, some sexy feets, a bbq with grillslinger, and all manner of other Google seeking goodies.


For some reason there is no linkage option at the moment.

Find Llew at www.sunnyo.blogspot.com

I'll make it linky web savvy as soon as normality returns to blogger.

Go Llew!

Cookie time

As promised some words about recipes.

November-December 2005 045
I made these cookies using a very nice Nigella recipe. However, I needed to use a little initiative as we only had half as much flour as the recipe called for. I had a box of Dutch Apple Cake mix from the Dutch shop, which I substituted for half the flour. I have a tendency to buy exotic treats from the Dutch Shop, but then don't really know what they are or how to use them.

May I just take a moment to recommend the Dutch Shop in Petone? It is chocka full of goodies. The dutch like everything tasty and not much healthy, so it is a haven for chocolate, liquorice, bickies, croquettes and most notably massive rounds of gouda. The gouda is cheap as chips andn DELICIOUS. Try the cumin one. Mmm.

Back to baking. My cookies are yummy. I will never be able to replicate the recipe due to the unconventional ingredients, so perhaps I should send a couple to Te Papa to keep as unigue pieces of Dutch/Kiwiana.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Fly My Pretties

Yippee. In an early Christmas present to myself I got some tickets to Fly My Pretties. Anyone going? They're playing at the Opera House, so it will be nice and grown up and lazy sitting downish. Hopefully I won't have the woman next to me who just wants to dance. At Phoenix Foundation I saw a lot of armpit action from said woman.

Have you noticed?

have you noticed a certain amount of sobriety around these parts lately? My system is unhappy, and I'm giving it a few weeks rest from the vino, although a friend tells me that wine is bad, and white spirits are a much better drink for your tummy.

The unfortunate side effect of drying out is that my creativity seems to dry up a little too. I tend to make fewer sweeping statements and rant less about telly. Actually there hasn't been any telly since Buffy. Tonight is Project Runway night though, and it is my TOTAL FAVOURITE.

Anyway. It is my birthday next Friday, and I am going to resume normal service at that point. Until then I will blog about kindy committees, knitting and recipes.


Monday, December 05, 2005

The matrix has me

Well, not the matrix. The kindy committee has me fully involved. I'm now (joint) Grants and Fundraising Officer. This kindy doesn't know what it is in for. I'm thinking wine tastings, food tastings, lolly tastings, charity auctions with tastings, tastings with chocolate, tastings with massage, tastings with Buffy watching, tastings with coffee and massage, massage with Angel, chocolate with Angel...

What was I talking about?

Roundup kindof

Oh the pressure. My sister is in Japan for 5 weeks, and has commented on the lack of bloggage, so this will be one of those posts that isn't clever or funny (perhaps the first hahahahahahahahahha).

Weekend that was:

Did a bit of housey stuff. Glen started stopping the holes in the back wall in anticipation of a big painting effort from Pamela (yay!). Moved the modem back to the bedroom. Loaded some software onto the laptop. I'm loving the Google desktop sidebar. Went for a walk. Went to the moustache party. Got asked three times if I was pregnant (which I'm not - sometimes I just don't drink - okay, that one day I didn't drink and when I was pregnant - so fair enough question).

Sunday had a headache all morning that didn't go away until I had a coffee in the afternoon. Foul addiction. We went to a birthday party with the most phenomenal inflatable waterslide you have ever seen. Ate lots. It was lovely.

And watched some Buffy. It is quite creepy at the moment (end of Season 2). Angel is better bad, but I still kind of want him good again.

And I've just received an email from Joanna in Afghanistan saying she is coming back for Christmas. Yay Jo!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Mo' better blues

Splendiferous party. Lots of delicious food and delicious people. Lots of very dodgy moustaches, and some fairly priceless outfits to match.

Here are a few of the chaps. I should have rounded them all up really. Oh well, they can do it again next year...
November-December 2005 038

(In Marlon Brando's "Stella" voice) Buffy!

‘kinoath. It seems that four episodes in a row of Buffy is just the right amount to make you go mental. I lay awake in bed last night marvelling at how much I'm like Buffy, and then had dreams involving my son scuttling around like a rodent vampire.

The first thing Glen said this morning was “that was one too many episodes of Buffy last night”.

She has taken over our life. And all I can think about now is how much I’d like to watch another episode, and could I sneak into the bedroom with the laptop unnoticed for the afternoon.

Which I won’t do, we have the Moustache Reveal Party to attend.

Perhaps a social life will help keep me sane. And the prospect of numerous lawyers, policy analysts, contracts managers and policemen all with Tom Selleck face is something I’m quite looking forward to.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Which Buffy Character Would You Do?

The second of a series of polls to find out who you’d do.

The first, Which Wiggle Would You Do to this day nets me a handsome amount of blog traffic.

This poll only contains characters that are around now in my watching world, so sorry if you want someone from a later series.

You may vote for as many characters as you'd like to do.

You are encouraged to comment about who you voted for and why.

I shall offer a pop psychological profiling article at such a time as I fancy it.

Which Buffy Character Would You Do?

Free polls from Pollhost.com

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Crawly Crustacean

Bloody hell. You stop blogging for two days, and suddenly you're a Crawly Crustacean.

Mutter mutter.

Anyhow, I'm feeling VERY HI TECH. Well, I have my very high tech friend Emily busily trying to retrieve lost files, and in the meantime I have set up our old PC in the sleepout. Gads, it is virtually a network.

What next? We'll be talking on one of those telephonic thingamabobs to people miles away! We'll be watching people walk on moons! We'll be getting food delivered by men in cars!

Your expertise please

I'm actually quite enjoying starting anew with my laptop now all the drama is over.

I'm ready for all you clever peeps to give me your software recommendations. Brena, thanks for your backup advice, I shall investigate forthwith.

The other thing I need that springs to mind is an RSS reader thingymabob. I did have Sage. It was nice and neat at the side of my page, but SLOW. And it would just jump aboard whichever page was open, which was a bit painful. Is there something better?

Any other hot techno tips are welcome too. I'm going to paint this baby racing car red and make it go FAST (metaphorically speaking).

Monday, November 28, 2005

The horror

Today I more or less got a new laptop. Well, not really. Really I managed to (Indian accent call centre voice) "totally corrupt the whole system". Which means I've had to reinstall all the original disks and have lost EVERYTHING. Man, and it took a whole day to do. Stupid computer. And no, not a good time to enquire as to why I haven't backed everything up. I'm more a live for the now girl. And yes, I have plans to back things up in the future.

I just can't face installing firefox and sage and so on right now, because I'm tired, and I love/hate computers, and Buffy is beckoning (well, lets be honest, Angel is beckoning).

Garrrr, no bookmarks, no photos, no dodgy list of passwords.

Gone, all gone.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Did you miss me?

Aye carumba, what a catch up is required.

Day by day I think may be best.

Wednesday: Drove over to the Wairarapa. We went to Martinborough for a play at the playground (cool old play things that can get you quite hurt. Don’t tell OSH). We got some lunch too, and a couple of cool t-shirts at Thrive.
Moved on to my parent’s house which is halfway between Carterton and Masterton in the country. I had to take off for further shopping in the metropolis of Masterton (secret birthday business). All the people in Masterton are on P. And all anyone under 20 says is “fuck”. It was so delightful. Went back to the haven of the homestead and had a nice bbq and some wine. It was magic. After the kids went to bed we watched Buffy. Bless.

Thursday: Went for a swim at the great pool in Masterton. Actually nobody at the pool seemed to be on P. A better class of people I think.

Did some looking around Greytown. The place is so ritzy.

Did I mention it was Glen’s birthday? He is 42. Old. He didn’t warn me when we met he’d be 42 at some stage, but then I kept mum about being 33 at some stage myself, so all fair. So the day was spent asking Glen what he would like to do, which seemed to pretty much involve driving around the countryside.

We scoped out Bambino Cafe in Carterton, since they have the same business name. They haven't got the same coffee making talent I fear. Well worth stopping if you have kids though. Avoid Coffee and buy slice.

Friday: We had a family Christmas back in Petone. My sister is off to Japan with her wee family, so we get to have Christmas twice. Nice.

Saturday: Bored yet? Some stuff during the day, and some Buffy during the evening (it is getting very good).

Sunday: You know, stuff. Probably more Buffy soon.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

(Okay, now you're Madonna) Holiday!

We're going away for a few days to the Wairarapa, and being a fairly low-tech family we won't have internet access.

I hope you all miss me so much that you don't quite cope, and just as you're about to crack I'll return and fill your life with joy.

Or you could take to the bottle, which is definitely my recommended route.

Adieu to yer and yer and yer.

Seven Deadly Sins

Dear Kate has me tagged.

The Seven Deadly Sins

Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride. Which (if any) have you broken and give examples.

Lust: No.
I'm as pure as the driven snow. I wouldn't look twice at Jude Law, nor at any young waiters anywhere.

Gluttony: No.
I eat to live, not live to eat. Apart from delicious things.

Greed: No
If I won lotto I'd give it to all the poor starving children in Eastern Europe. I'd never buy a convertible and drive around Wellington just LAUGHING.

Sloth: No.
You could eat off my floor. In fact we do.

Wrath: No.
I practice yoga and tai chi, and it keeps me very level and centered.

Envy: No.
I have never envied the people in the Plischke House in Brooklyn, and hoped they'd lose their marbles and swap houses. Never.

Pride: No.
I'm far too modest for any of that.

Some or all of the above may in fact be a lie.

Domestic Goddess, Make Tea, Rosie, Emily, hers

Consider yourself tagged! For some reason I've picked all the lay-dies. If you're a bloke then do it. Go on. In fact I think I'll tag Mr Reasonable and Ben too.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Weekend roundup

It was my biggest weekend in YEARS.

Friday night we went to a friend's house for dinner. What a fab night. We started with bubbly yummy drinkie things, and moved through an amazing menu. Outfuckingstanding. We even had the new Beaujolais. Felt quite flash and fun and grownup.

And Saturday we went to SJD and Phoenix Foundation. I'm no reviewer, but suffice to say we thought it was the best gig ever ever ever. SJD were fab. Such musicians! Such a light show! And that drummer! What a legend.

And Phoenix Foundation? Little known fact - Phoenix Foundation were my chosen labour music, so I was already a fan, but they were soooo good. Glen announced at the end they are his new favourite, which I thought was really funny, like when you're 12. They were great though. Such a show! They had terrific visuals too.

And I saw Noizyboy and introduced myself (he looks just like his picture). He was very nice.

And I saw loads of other people who I like a lot too. It was very convivial, and now I want to go to Fly My Pretties at the Opera House on the 9th December, and I think anyone reading this should go.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Sport Billy Strikes Again

I was off on my walk this morning, walkman plugged into ears, and just to prove what a nerd I am - radio tuned to National Radio for the news, and I heard about the Rugby World Cup.

Now, I didn't know I cared, but do you know - I ran - that's right RAN home to tell Glen.

And Rexona 24 hour deodorant doesn't work under such circumstances. Charlatans.

And I'm nowhere near ready to run 5km for the Duathlon. Three blocks was PLENTY.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Why can't anyone on Trademe spell "bargain"?

Today I've had a very successful day on Trademe. I have bought tickets for Toast Martinborough, and I have also sold tickets for Toast Martinborough. The very same tickets. On this rare occasion I was not in it for the money, but we had a quick change of plans related to something I'm not allowed to write about in case any of Glen's workmates read my blog.

That was not the end of my trade me work though, oh no. It was very near the beginning. Actually I only said that because I thought it had a nice ring to it.

I am very happy with another purchase I made. Two tickets to the SJD and the Phoenix Foundation at the Opera House on Saturday. Yipppeee. And only $40. A veritable BARGIN. Nicey nice. Happy hap.

No, I haven't had anything to drink. I may be a little high from cleaning fluids though. The kitchen is shiiiiiiiny.

I love him just a little

I have always been rather fond of Dilbert. It is a healthy reminder of what I am missing out on being at home with the children.

Scott Adams (Dilbert's creater) has been blogging for a few weeks now, and I think he is brilliant. Well worth a read.

Wouldn't it be great to be fabulously creative and paid handsomely for it? He is living the dream - well, my dream.

Thanks to Mike for recommending him.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Oh bring it on baby

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 6/8 correct!

Thanks to About Town.


I have given up the Interior Design thing. They were a bunch of crazies, and I have realised that just because you paint your house and like design magazines, you don't have to be one. Although I'd still love to do design. Properly, not through the Open Polytech (dicks).

I have decided instead to focus my attention on a qualification I began about 4 years ago. I mainly like it because when I finish (only 2 papers to go) I'll be

Wanda Harland
BA, PG Dip Bus Admin. (Comms).

Which sounds better even than my husband's qualification, and he is a doctor. Well, not better, but longer.

I was very pleased to see that Massey has a new course I can do towards it called Political Communications. I'll work those buggers out yet.

And if I want to become Prime Minister, I suspect it is a slightly better path to go down than Interior Design.

Photo software

I've ended you taking Mr Reasonable's advice, and have bought the latest NetGuide. It has a free version of ACDSee, which I have downloaded because I am a small amount shallow, and love the name. It is really good. Very simple to understand, and most importantly it is very easy to erase ones blemishes. I've got the trial version at the moment, so I'll give it a month and see what happens.

I got scared of the Gimp, I couldn't for the life of me work out how to download the thing. This is no real reflection on the Gimp though, as my attention span is about 2 minutes, and it just took a little longer than that.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Google ads

I'm dying to know how much the Google ads pay. Feel free to tell me your darkest secrets regarding income anytime.

I am wondering if Google might rank one higher if one is advertising their product? Or is that a little too conspiracy theoryisty.

By request

You will be overwhelmed by the hirsute-ness of my hairy dude after a week and a half of vigorous moustache growing.


Moustache before



Goodbye Ms Vile

The Vile File is going! I'm quite surprised. I would love to be so successful and engaging with blogging, but can't really be fagged putting in the effort. I love that the Vile File succeeded where I can't be arsed to tread.

So goodbye.

From an Uber-Mummy.

Monday, November 14, 2005

La moustache est morte

I'm sure my french is letting me down somewhat. Good thing they got rid of School Cert, as my School Cert french isn't doing me any favours.

Basically Glen has gone back to being a bald face. I think if you don't have convincing facial hair it is a mistake to try and make it look convincing.

And he said he felt a bit embarrassed when people looked at him. I suggested he send an email out to all his colleagues to explain, but he didn't seem to think that would be very cool. You can read why they may be feeling a little humourless here on Public Address.

The Corporation

I watched the Corporation the other day, it was a terrifically scary documentary.

I'm not going into the detail, but from hereon in I intend to buy as much as I can from local producers, and I am going to aspire to be much less of a consumer.

I'm pleased I have been using cloth nappies for a year now. I can feel a tiny bit virtuous.

I am also going to try very hard to give up desiring my dream chair, and find a nice locally designed replacement (sob).


Buffy yippeeeee

Friday night we had a decent dose of seabreezes and bubbly, and got talking to our neighbour Jannene about Buffy. The dark horse, she owns all the series on DVD. We were rapt when we got home from a bbq on Saturday to find the first series in our letterbox.

We watched the first couple of episodes in bed on the laptop last night. I think we've reached the pinnacle of civilised society. A TV series, no ads, in bed. And lets face it, Buffy can be a little bit scary, so very nice to already be in the safest part of the house.

I have seen the occasional episode of Buffy, and always thought it was terrific. I'm pleased to be catching up with the rest of the world, watching it all now.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Martha my dear

Thanks Popbitch for another fabulous link-fest.

Dictionareoke plays Martha My Dear as you've never heard it. Also worth checking out The Buggles Video killed the Radio Star and many other gems.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Helpful post

That Supernanny, Jo Frost, is okay. Lots of parents are a little useless, and her advice is useful for people that haven't discovered Diane Levy.

Always make passes at girls who wear glasses (but not boys with moustaches)


This public service announcement was brought to you by a seabreeze.

And edited with due remorse that Wanda Harland had turned to griping about tv stars.

The 'tache cont...

Well Movember is still going. I'm not coping very well with the wispy lip fur Glen is sporting. I don't think he is either.

So as not to be the bitch who ruins Movember, I'm not saying anything.

My friend who has organised all this said "not to judge the 'tache 'til you've felt the pash". Pass.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Kircaldies with all the ladies

Tonight Plunket had a fundraiser at Kirks. You paid $5 to get in, and got 10% off everything.

This of course means you can't find a single thing anywhere in the store to buy. Basically I ended up going after the nice young men with the Christmas mince pies, and then mooching over to the Cuisine store to see what yummies were available there.

The hoards of middle aged ladies were so pleased to have sniffed out some grog, that there was no getting close to the slushy alcoholic stuff. I talked to a nice chap who makes oils and salts and spice rubs and relishes. I bought some nice Moroccan rub, which is so insane, because I couldn't bring myself to spend $100 on Stephanie Alexander's Cooks Companion, but $8 seemed reasonable for some spices we have in the cupboard.

Of course there are worse things in the world than cruising a nice shop for a while. It beats Push 'n' Shove hands down.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Trademe strikes again

I have bought a mouse from trademe - a computer mouse, not a reeking rodent.

It is very funky, with flashing disco lights. The last one I bought off trademe was very funky and red, but wireless, so it chewed through batteries in about 3 minutes.

This one sensibly plugs into the usb port. However, the downside of the flashing lights is THAT I AM GOING INSANE. The blue one has a direct line into my brain. My hand can't quite cover it. I feel doomed to go and buy a sensible ugly one.

Monday, November 07, 2005


Wicked! I've just been told, and then witnessed myself, that Chow is opening in Petone.

If you ever had any doubts about the Hutt, let them go and move out here pronto.


I'm not rich yet

My blog is worth $14,113.50.
How much is your blog worth?

Looks like nobody will be buying my blog. Nevermind. I still have coffee.

By the way, if anyone knows of someone wanting a coffee cart, the times here are a-changin, so there may be one going spare. I'll keep you posted.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Martha and Glen's Excellent Adventure (with illustrations)

We arranged for my mother to babysit and stay overnight, so that we wouldn't feel guilty about returning home late.

Like two people not in their 30s and 40s we waited for the train at Ava Station with all the naughty youths.

On our way to the big smoke

It was very festive on the train. Lots of young people, old people and families setting off for the fireworks display. One young boganess was boasting of her cheap drunk status "Only takes me 6 KGBs" - "Jailbait" muttered the elderly lady next to us.

The fireworks were great, aided in part by our coffee cups of beer. Now that is classy. We hooked up with my sister there.

After the display we went up to Bodega. Being from the 'burbs we forgot that absolutely nobody is seen dead at the pub before 10pm. This meant we scored primo seats.

Mestar played first. They were brilliant. The first song sounded like a bit of a tribute to Garageland, but not in a bad way. They tell me they're recording next week, so keep an ear out. They're with Arch Hill Records.

The Bats played next, and they were GREAT. Amazing. There ended up being loads of real Bats groupies there.


Just to clarify in case anyone missed it, I'm related to a couple of the Bats, so I don't quite qualify as a groupie, but I sort of am.

Paul and Kaye

They did lots of old and new songs, and two encores. Kaye sang Mir so beautifully I nearly wept. It was lovely. My sister and I danced lots. I didn't try and boof into anyone, which shows how mature I have become since I last danced at Bodega.

Bats playing

And we drank lots. And I didn't even know Bodega had a secret squirrel bar. And it was great.

Me at Bodega

And we got home at 3am. And we got woken at 6.10am. So I'm a bit tired today.

It was worth it though.

Friday, November 04, 2005

It's Movember!

My male friends, in their infinite wisdom, have seen fit to announce this month to be Movember. My husband, in his infinite slight lack of wisdom, has joined the game. The rules? No shaving of the upper lip for the duration of Movember, with a party to celebrate hirsute-ness early December (or Shavember as I'm fondly thinking of it, or better still, my birthday!).

The chaps aren't allowed any hair below the lip, nor any meeting of 'tache and sidies. I think there will be some fairly corker photo ops coming up.

Actually I'm not too concerned about my husband having a moustache. He tried to grow one 15 years ago, and not a soul noticed. Now he is grey, it will barely show.

Plus my dad has one. And he is handsome.
Terry and operatic coffee cart

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Adult swing seat

You need to be careful what you come up with when you search "adult swing seat". However, in this instance it is my hot tip for a Christmas pressie for a loved one - or for yourself.

I bought my father one of these swing seats about 12 years ago. It is still going strong, hung from a tree in the Wairarapa. It is probably the most comfortable place you will ever enjoy. Glen has put in a request for one. They're kinda pricey, but hell, some people pay that much for a massage.

Speaking of which, I saw a job for a tantric masseuse in the paper yesterday. They offer on the job training.

And since we're having family day at Wanda Harland

Young Malo started walking today. Properly. On his own, and further than from one of us to the other.

Malo and cup

Kindy has turned to custard

Poor Finn has decided to hate kindy. It is killing us all. On one hand I know we should persist through all the crying and being miserable (and Finn's crying too), but I'm just not convinced it is worth it. Kindy only runs for another 5 or 6 weeks, and it would seem mad to keep pushing it if he isn't going to get better.

The teachers are being very nice and telling us the right thing to do is leave him to it.


October 2005 087

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Who got in?

Anyone RSVP in time to go to the Karajoz Great Blend?

3 more sleeps

The Bats play on Saturday at Bodega. It will be cool and fun, and there will be drinking and merriment. Please come.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


I'm going to have to put in that annoying letter thingy when you comment. I've been good and deleting all the crap, but to be honest I'm a bit sick of it.

I apologise, I know it is a nuisance, and I don't want to deter anyone from commenting.

So go on. Make a comment.

Listen up!


Can't remember where I saw this, maybe Mike? Make one here, they're cool.

Actually perhaps I'll start a religion. They're very lucrative I understand. Look at Brian Tamaki. He can obviously afford to pay someone to put gunk in his hair every day. It wouldn't need to be very credible, look at Scientology. It just needs a charismatic, yet corrupt, leader. I could be that person.


Be prepared for a few vacuous posts today.

Why don't the children come to get lollies off us at Halloween? Only one lot came last night. I have mini m&ms and perky nanas coming out my ears.

I know if I don't buy masses of lollies next year we'll get squillions of kids swing by. We'll be those lame-o people who give an apple and a box of raisins.

Oh what a lovely eeeevening

Last night was spent at the Mediterranean Warehouse at a Pizza Banquet. It was delicious food, and lots of cheap chianti. Cheap chianti is easy to drink, but by heck you feel crook in the morning.

So that is me now. Crook.

My sister has lots of very cool friends and workmates. I met Mr Spider's cousin, who was a total babe. They had a hottie young waiter which was nice.

For some reason I feel like I have smoked a packet of cigarettes. This is strange because there were no cigarettes anywhere. But I feel shaky, and my mouth is gross.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Hey hooooo

The best blogging is pissssssed.

So HI!!! I'm Martha. I don't know you, but it is my sister's birthday.

Yeah, no, I don't really work.

Umm yeah, I guess the term is homemaker, oh okay, that is oldskool. I'm a family executive. Yeah, that far more covers being the one who gets to deal with the shit and the puke.

Oh yeah, I used to be a researcher in Treaty Issues.

Okay, that means more than the shit and the puke.

So, how do you feel?

Sunday, October 30, 2005

The problem is

The problem with flickr is that as soon as you start to look at other people's pictures, you get a bit depressed. They're so damn good.
In the sea

I took this today. I haven't used any tricks to make it so blue. It just was.

Does anyone know of some good, free photo-editing stuff? This computer only has MS Paint, and I ain't going to even try doing that. All I end up doing is doodling with it.

Without trying to influence anyones voting behaviour...

Vote for me!


They've been gardening over at Reasonable Estate and I'm jealous.

So far this summer I have killed my tomato, basil and parsley seedlings. I'm told radishes are foolproof, so I'm out to prove them wrong. I have also planted beetroot.

My garden is about 1 x 6 foot, and if you know of a good chemical that will kill cats before they crap in it, I'm all ears.

I killed a whole lot of snails with bait, and Finn asked about them. I told him they were having a nap. My mother piped up that people in France eat snails. Finn eyed them with interest.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Shoe gazing - or something

Today I decided to try and be a little more creative with the camera. I was prompted by an invite to a Flickr group, which I'm way too frightened to submit anything for.

Anyhow, I thought I'd have a browse through the net (search: how to take photographs). I read a bit, and then they suggested trying some self portraits. Ohmigod.

I was frankly very surprised. I look much different than I think I do. I look older, I look angrier, and I look tireder (which doesn't look like a real word. But since I'm tireder than you, I don't care).

I worked out that half the reason I look so odd is I didn't have my glasses on, and the other half is that I don't think I look at myself much.

After a few shots I actually began to quite enjoy it. Simple things like not looking straight at the camera, and combing ones hair seem to make the world of difference.

I present you with the result of my experiment. Probably not the most honest picture, but I think that is because god knows how other people see me. I'm quite happy to remain ignorant.

Martha Self Portrait

It looks best small, and black and white. Of course.

Is he Jude Law?

Check out this picture of Jeffrey Dahmer. Jude Law should definitely play him in a movie. Uncanny.

Thanks Mike for the link. Very cool.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Please hold

The more observant amongst you may have noticed a drop off in blogging at Wanda Harland. The reason is simple. Malo is 13 months now. He isn't walking, but he seems to be able to scale vertical surfaces effortlessly. This means our house is a total hazard zone, and there is a lot of bumped head action going on.

Once I get him addicted to telly it'll be all on again. Until then blogging may be a little sporadic.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Jacuzzi and a pool boy please

I'm trying to book our accomodation for our christmas holiday. Booking 10 nights away seemed exciting and liberating and all that. However now I am faced with the challenge of booking a sketchy trip which looks a little like:

24th - catch the ferry. Drive as far as we can before the kids drive us insane and we give up for the night (probably about Blenheim). Maybe drug them and get the whole way to Christchurch, otherwise Christmas may be shared with the whales.

25/26/27 ? - Christchurch? Somewhere sunny and more or less free?

26/27? - Greymouth. We're visiting relatives there. How come motels cost $130 in GREYMOUTH.

Hmmm 28ish til 3rd - Vaguely meeting friends and family in the Catlins... Have to drive with kids... May need to stop at Moeraki, Oamaru and Dunedin on the way to cope (like our campervan trip). Leaves half a day to say hello to the Catlins before starting the trip home.

Clear as mud eh?

And I like a housesitter too. So if you're nice and not into the upside down b, how about a house swap?

Jacuzzi and a pool boy please

I'm trying to book our accomodation for our christmas holiday. Booking 10 nights away seemed exciting and liberating and all that. However now I am faced with the challenge of booking a sketchy trip which looks a little like:

24th - catch the ferry. Drive as far as we can before the kids drive us insane and we give up for the night (probably about Blenheim). Maybe drug them and get the whole way to Christchurch, otherwise Christmas may be shared with the whales.

25/26/27 ? - Christchurch? Somewhere sunny and more or less free?

26/27? - Greymouth. We're visiting relatives there. How come motels cost $130 in GREYMOUTH.

Hmmm 28ish til 3rd - Vaguely meeting friends and family in the Catlins... Have to drive with kids... May need to stop at Moeraki, Oamaru and Dunedin on the way to cope (like our campervan trip). Leaves half a day to say hello to the Catlins before starting the trip home.

Clear as mud eh?

And I like a housesitter too. So if you're nice and not into the upside down b, how about a house swap?

These are a few of my favourite things

Petone has got better and better over the 3 1/2 years we've lived here. Initially I pretty much hated it, and missed living in Mt Vic. It was convenient for Glen's work though, and our 1 bedroom apartment would have been pretty claustrophobic with 3 people crammed in. We rented for the first year, a lovely house just off Jackson St, with a beautiful garden and gorgeously decorated. Our neighbour in Mt Vic bought the apartment off us, and we really needed to buy ourselves a house. The one problem with buying in Petone was the lack of good bread. Fortunately, in the nick of time, Brezelmania opened their first store. So we bought an old shit hole house at the desirable eastern end of Petone (although not quite as far as the lovely Exide factory).

Well how times have changed. Our house is now a palace, and we've discovered no end of fabulous parks, shops and entertainment.

So here are a couple of favourites:

Davis Trading - Every time I nip into Davis Trading for a little something, I come out with 3 bags bulging with treats. It is primarily an Asian supermarket, but also has a fantastic range of Mediterranean goodies. Their spices are cheap as chips and packaged in very handy jars. They have mortar and pestles for about $25. If I'm feeling particularly extravagant I buy some steamed coconut buns and have a mini yum char. I also never leave the store without a sesame treat. Mmm. Sesame treat. It is on Te Puni St, just near Kathmandu and the Warehouse.

The South African Shop - This place is such a blast. You're given a very warm welcome, and an offer of a cup of coffee. Take them up on this offer, the coffee is strong and tasty. They import lots of goodies, primarily from South Africa, but they have other things too. They are the local distributors of Whitestone Cheeses, and always give you a taste. They have an amazing selection of olives and all of them are available to taste. They also import and stock local wine. Last night we had the most delicious South African Syrah (which I bought because the owner told me Logan Brown and arbitrager are stocking it, and since I'm not going there anytime soon I thought I'd treat myself ). If you're after some parmigiano reggiano you may find it hard to go past the wheel they have behind the counter - a snip at $2395. I highly recommend a visit, it is a treasure trove of gourmet delights. On Fitzherbert St, off Jackson or the Esplanade.

That is enough Petone secrets shared for one day. I hate long posts, and this is well beyond my limit.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Save the jellyfish!

If you go down to the beach today, be sure of a big surprise...

There are massive jellyfish all over Petone beach. I didn't see anyone with wet towels and buckets of water trying to save them, but then it was 6.10am on a Sunday (curse you damn insomnia).

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Oh so dammit WHATever

Much as I love the fact everyone is going out and having cocktails and marvellous times and torturing us poor souls at home (Stephen, Jo, Tom, Kate), I do find it somewhat depressing. I want a frickin apple mojito thingamy bob! I want a seedy pub toilet! I want pizza pomodoro!

So in a new series entitled Dining at Home, a shall reveal the excitement of the 'hood.

First up - our new table
October 2005 101

And the menu?

We started with hummus etc, dolmades, chargrilled eggplant, pita toasts.

Mains we had a mesclun and roasted kumara and pumpkin salad with zhoug dressing and spicy walnut encrusted gurnard. The kids had tomato risotto.

Pudding? A delectable icecream of vanilla creme, chocolate shards and a rich raspberry gellee (otherwise known as jellytip icecream).

We sunk the lot with some Saint Clair Vicar's Choice 2004 Chardonnay (nice, light, simple) and some Villa Maria Gewurztraminer (quite spicy and rich).

And the company? An appreciative audience of my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, nephew, husband and kids.

Sounds? The Green Room,

and then some Only Living Boy in New York by Simon and Garfunkel! I've been a bit obsessed with the song since Garden State.

Thats right peeps, life in the fridge exists.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

One for the ladies again


My earlier post reported on my exciting Origins bargain find on eBay, well today the stuff arrived.

I thought it might take a couple of goes with the Modern Friction to see any result, but I can report that my skin is feeling deliciously young and fresh and healthy. I can't actually believe it.

So a thoroughly successful experiment in international cosmetics trading. It only took 7 days from ordering to receive the goodies, postage was only US$10.

Yippee. I want to get more. The problem is, while cheap, it still costs something.

Oh, on a completely different note, our old formica table sold on trademe for $305!! I know!! Amazing enough for me to use exclamation marks even.

Monday, October 17, 2005


This story is inspired by Alan's recent recount of a digger story.

One day, when I was young and footloose and fancy free, I was walking down Wadestown hill on the way to university.

I chap in a digger called out "hello!" to which I replied "kiarrrggg".

I was very very embarassed. The reason I came out with such an unusual salutation? At the time I usually greeted people with a friendly "kia ora", but mid-word I realised that in fact I was only going to appear like a silly, middle-class, white girl from Wadestown. So I tried to say "gidday" instead.

I still feel quite a severe cringe when I remember that day.


You are Snoopy!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Cheers Llew.


Here is our garden pre-lawn
Building a garden

and here it is with new lawn as of Saturday
Lovely grass

Please note:

Expensive and addictive coffee toy that we may never give up. Yes, it really does live in our backyard.

Poor diver at the front of the picture, who is that dude from the legend who was diving when the helicopter with the monsoon bucket picked him up - and deposited him in Petone. He is shrinking by the day.

Please don't note:

Collection of motley plants.

Chock full recycling bin (although at least we recycle our empties).

Assorted crap.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

So, like totally ohmigod!

After spending quite a few years being scathing of reality tv, I seem to have caught the bug. First with INXs Rockstar, and now with Project Runway (TV 3, Sunday 7.30pm).

I LOVED it. There were 12 designers, and all the men had that like TOTALLY OHMIGOD voice, and all the women were hard-nosed, hard working schemers. I love them all, and hate them, and so, like, the show is going to be totally unmissable.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Martha needs

Martha needs to rebuild her self-confidence

Martha needs a butch bitch for protection

Martha needs a quick nip

Martha needs to re-earn everyones respect

Martha is NOT the housewife next door

Martha's apprentice needs an edge

A woman like Martha needs careful handling.

Martha needs a BIG attitude adjustment if for no other reason
than the way she treats peopl e

This is so great. It is better than a horoscope.

Type "[your name] needs" into google, and have a bloody good time reading the results.

Cheers Jessie for the idea. Honestly, I thought Jessie was letting the world know it was over rover.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Tagged - again!

Make Tea Not War has tagged me. Here are 20 random things about me.

1. I didn't finish 6th Form as I was overseas, but they let me through anyway.
2. I have worked as a caterer, florist, pharmacy assistant and babysitter. You could say I have the makings of a good wife.
3. My eyes are a funny colour.
4. I never learned how to use apostrophes, so basically I wing it.
5. Green lollies make me want to hurl.
6. I can crochet, but I don't.
7. I like people who are older than me.
8. My family live close, and I like it that way.
9. I can only wear high heels for about 23 minutes.
10. The first time I got drunk I was 14, on 6 Steinlagers.
11. I can't remember what a First 5/8 is.
12. I played hockey for 7 years and never knew the rules.
13. I once read a lot of books. Now I read a lot of magazines.
14. I found $7 on the road when I was 8. I bought a butterfly net.
15. I wear glasses almost always now.
16. I wish I was Madonna.
17. I was Head Boy.
18. If I didn't have children, I'd sell the car and buy a Reuben Patterson painting.
19. A woman has just pulled up outside to buy a copper I sold on trade me.
20. I wish I had done architecture. Instead I enrolled and got frightened off by the maths and physics lectures.

I tag

Pornalike quiz

Ahhhh, funny.

Try this, it has a good soundtrack too. It says it is work friendly. I think you may have to have a fairly liberal workplace.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Leonard Rossi-Dodds

A long time ago, there was a New Zealand soap opera I watched called Shortland St. Martin Csokas was on it as Dr Leonard Rossi-Dodds (before he became a Russian terrorist, or an Elf with bad hair). His speciality dish was a volcano of potato, flowing lava formed with tomato sauce, and legions of fleeing villagers represented by sausages. I give to you my interpretation.


Finn looks really really impressed. Or not.

The Bats

I'm reminding everyone that the Bats are playing soooooon. So please tell everyone you know to go to Bodega on the 5th November.



I'm quite weary. Every night but Monday, for the last week, I have consumed quite a lot of wine and beer. Last night we had a bit of a family gathering for my sister's 30th. It is a little bit of a shock to the system when your young sister turns 30. That probably is the reason that I had to dull the ache with the grog. Mmmm. It was yummy. We had whitebait too. Mmmm.

I have also hauled up a lot of concrete pavers (which are selling like hotcakes on trademe - go figure. We thought they were rubbish). We have bought a dining table, and more than half the cost has been covered by the sale of what can best be described as junk.

We are getting some roll-out grass delivered tomorrow. Yippee. When we moved to our house there was only a 2 x 3m area of grass in the backyard. The rest was concrete. Very sensible too. You can't rollerskate on grass.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Alan Macdougall - sex on legs

Alan Macdougall has a nemesis. Not only am I going to help him up his google rankings, but (sexy feets) I (tile mosaics) may (Murray Wiggle) just (jessica simpson NAKED) up (Britney's baby) my (hooters) own (tight shorts) in (boobies) the (cheap cocaine) process.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

From the Jackass school of humour

I got sent a concerned chain email today about the terrible art of Bonsai Kitty. Upon independent research, I found that the business, and consequently the chain letter, have been in circulation for a few years, which means you have probably all heard about it. If not check out the website here. I particularly like the Alessi shoehorn.

Warning - this one is for the ladies

And before you guys get excited, it is not about boobs, smear tests or jelly wrestling.

The other day my sister-in-law, who is very gorgeous, told me about some Origins product which gives you a natural version of micro-dermobrasion. It is called Modern Friction. So I dutifully went off to Kirks (ever hopeful that by using the same product I will end up gorgeous too). The nice Origins lady spent a goodly amount of time massaging this stuff into my hand while I made appropriate appreciative noises. I was pretty sold on the stuff. My left hand looked young and un-nappy-ruined. The price for this miracle? $94. Well, I may be able to spend ridiculous amounts of money on paint and timber, but the price was a little too rich for my palate.

So I checked eBay. For the exact same product, brand new, $18.99. I may never go into a normal shop again.

Monday, October 10, 2005


Ben has tagged me.

The instructions for this tag.

1. Go into your archive & find your 23rd post.
2. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to & share the text of the sentence with these instructions.
3. Tag five to do the same.

My result:
I want to go and spend $1750 on a painting, or some nice shoes, or a coat.

Actually I had to go to my 24th post, the previous was only 2 sentences. It is pretty crap too. I guess it is just evidence that I'm no towering intellectual giant, and I like shopping.

So I tag

1. Rosie
2. Emily
3. Mr Reasonable
4. David in Darwin
5. Brena

Knock yourselves out.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Going with the theory that the best blogging is done drunk

It is fair to say that in the world of Wanda Harland, it has been a big weekend.

Starting with "afternoon tea" on Friday (which - oh uh, big reveal - isn't really tea, but an excuse to start drinking). Obviously there was some of the upside down b, some wine, some pizza, some spin the bottle.

Saturday we had the big surprise party - which I couldn't previously blog about in case he read it - (fat chance, I'm not that popular yet). A grand night involving eating out and babysitting (thanks Jannene), and balti, and saying "penis" too loud in a quiet restaurant.

Sunday should have been the day of rest. However it was a gorgeous day, and I thought it prudent to dig up the paving tiles. These proved to be VERY GODDAMN HEAVY. So after 4 loads I retired. At this point I'm thinking 10 a day will do.

And the night ended with booze. The best thing about meeting more people around the 'hood, is the increased socialising opportunities. I can recommend Petone for increased drinking ops. Go Petone.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Bats

Come one come all.

The Bats are playing at Bodega on the 5th November. This is ample time for everyone to organise babysitters.

I recommend an early dinner (why not make the most of one of those cheap pre-theatre menus - Logan Brown - unless you're llew who can't ever show his face there again), followed by a leisurely stroll to the waterfront for the fireworks, then a rousing gig from the foremost talent in New Zealand music.
The Bats
Show up and I'll shout y'all a sip of my beer. Generous!

I'm hoping my parents will be doing their first overnight-looking-after-two-boys gig - Pamela, Terry? Whaddaya reckon?

Fire engine

The fun that can be had with a pile of cardboard.

taking orders for Finn's shirt. Need to sell about 400 to pay for my dream table. Cheers.



So what does a girl have to do to get an invite to the Tuis?

I've had some wines tonight, which means I'm feeling quite rock and roll, and just wondering why the hell I haven't been invited to the NZ Music Awards. I can get tarted up, drink, schmooze, heckle, you know.

Perhaps I could go as a date of someone. Perhaps someone still in the closet needs a plausible wife. Go on, give me a call.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

This is me

Me and the boys
I thought it might be time for a picture of myself, as everyone surely wants to see who they're reading about? Well I do, and hardly anyone obliges.

And this is what evenings are like in the house of mayhem. Running and wriggling and devilish red eyes.

I'm going out (so we'd better get this party started)

I am very very excited. While I have a super hot social life in Petone, Glen and I haven't been into town at the same time together of an evening for ... oh .... about 5 months? And then I was breastfeeding, so still kind of unable to have a riotous time.

And this weekend - we're going out! With friends! And beer! And curry! And it will be spiffing.

Our lovely new neighbours are doing the honours with the babysitting, and I'm optimistic that we can come to a mutually agreable arrangement which will see them enjoying a rampant social life, and us too.

I feel like 10 years have been lifted from my shoulders.

The Machinist

Latest watch was The Machinist.

I don't really know if I liked it. It was pretty messy. It was certainly interesting to see what Christian Bale looked like after losing 60 lbs (not pretty).

I was very frightened and grossed out by the first gross out bit, and under the impression they were set to continue, I snuck into the bedroom and looked for a synopsis on the internet. I was reassured by what I read, and returned to watch the rest. I think someone wanting a horror would be disappointed that the "horror" only lasted about 3 minutes, and anyone not wanting a horror would be upset that there was 3 minutes of YUCK.

I watched some of the bonus material on the DVD, and wasn't surprised to see it had been filmed in Spain. It didn't feel like an American film.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Trade me

In case you were all dying of curiosity, I thought I'd let you know how my Trademe auctions are going.

The baby monitor has been in high demand and is up to $61. I feel nervous, which often happens when I'm running auctions and feel like people are paying too much. We got the thing free with flybuys, so I'm pretty stunned by the bidding.

The old armchairs are up to $31.

The oak table sold to a woman down the road for $50.

The baby bouncer is $1 from reserve.

I'm pretty pleased really. We're almost 1/6 of the way to the new table, and all for stuff we didn't want. Now I just have to work out what else to sell. I'm thinking of sacrificing some of the Crown Lynn.

Oh and ps. we've fixed iTunes. The podcast had created a double directory. Losers.

The Control Room

This was our latest DVD rental, and I enjoyed it heaps. It was about Al Jazeera, and their coverage of the war in Iraq. Now I don't necessarily think things through that much, but I'd always assumed that Al Jazeera was located in the cave next to Osama bin Laden. It isn't. It is a real building, with real journalists, and a fairly good grasp on the world as far as I could tell.

I really recommend the film.

iTunes anyone?

Okay, usual plea for help.

Having downloaded a great deal of music onto iTunes, it is now refusing to play anything.

It comes up with a box that says:

"The song "Mybrotherswillkillyou" could not be used because the original file could not be found. Would you like to locate it? Yes Cancel"

And when you try to locate it the file is empty. What has happened? Has all our tireless music storing been lost?

Music that makes my eyes leak

Some songs just take you there. You know. Back there, to when you were young and came home drunk and played music really loudly because you were pretty sure the neighbours might initially be a bit upset, but once they heard what you were playing, well, then they'd be grateful.

Be warned, these are a pretty middle of the road selection. That is the nature of the beast I fear.

1. It All Makes Sense - The Lightning Seeds. This song was used recently on a child cancer ad - to great effect I might ad. It is lovely, and when I think about it I get a bit leaky, so imagine what happens when I listen. I get the feeling that Alan might feel the same way.

2. Back for Good - Take That. I saw Gary Barlow from Take That play this at a record company schmooze thingy in Auckland, and have been a bit obsessed with the song since. As many people who live on Austin St in Mt Vic will attest (sorry).

3. If I Had Words - The Vard Sisters. This is the song that the mice sing in Babe. It is repetitive and annoying, but still has the weepy factor "If I had words, I'd make a day for you, give you a morning golden and new, I would make this day last for all time, and give you a night dipped in moonshine". Actually it is a crap song.

4. Fire and Rain - James Taylor. This song was in Running on Empty, which starred River Phoenix, who is dead. Quite often leaky eye songs are related to dead celebrities. Also, I recently heard that James Taylor was singing about his wife. And he was on the Simpsons recently, with his particular brand of "middle of the road folk/pop". I love anyone on the Simpsons.

5. Stand - REM. Because I was 16 when this came out, and at that age you're very hormonal. So I remember it passionately. Not that any of that makes sense, but it just takes me back, you know?

I think that may be enough public humiliation for the time being.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Freaks and geeks

We have had a very interesting outing today. We went to the model railway show at the Kennel Club in Porirua.

It was all good. It started well with the sign at the entrance which said "No fouling in the building". I was reassured by this, knowing how overexcited people can become by model railway.

The exhibition was huge. There were two large rooms, and 10s of model railways. Some were pretty boring, realistic representations of American rail. Yawn. Desert with train. We saw one display of a railway in Germany we have travelled on (between Freiburg and Basel if you're really interested).

There were a couple of pretty cool displays. One had a working gondola, flashing fire-engines, a merry-go-round and lots of bright pretty colours.

Thomas the Tank Engine appeared a few times. Given that we were there for Finn, this was great.

The crowds were - ahem- a varied and fascinating crew. I think there were probably quite a lot of people there who work in mail-rooms. I myself have some experience in a mail room, so I feel well qualified to comment.

Entrance for the family was $10. Total bargain. I'm planning to return there to see a dog show one of these days too. The whole place was fascinating.

Friday, September 30, 2005


I have one sleeping baby in the house. Finn is with Terry (my father), and the washing is out. The lounge is tidy. The dishes are clean. The lawn is weeded (really). I've had a coffee.

So I've got time to blog something. But I haven't got an idea. So I'm blogging nothing.

(Big echoing space)



Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Excuse me while I sell

Sorry for no interesting posting. I am madly trying to sell everything we own so that I can buy the dream dining table.

Better get back to trade me. I'm selling the baby stuff and a couple of tables and some chairs and whatever else I can lay my hands on...

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


Well, I got these really u-g-l-y (they ain't got no alibi) new shoes.
The thing that us people what don't wear sporty shoes don't realise is they're very bloody comfortable. And the most genius thing, the shoelaces don't come undone. Brilliant.

I got all fitted out for them on one of those foot computer things. Why? Because I am here, in cyberspace, committing to complete the Special K Duathlon in April next year, and to achieve this I'm gonna have to at least be able to walk 5kms.

Hell, I've delivered two babies, how hard can a little jog be? (Already feeling nauseaus - I wonder if you can have gas?).

Killer dolphins

Truth is stranger than fiction.

This seems very unlikely, but hell, so do a lot of things. And it makes a pretty good read.

Also confirms why I am right to avoid swimming in the ocean.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Donohue rises again

Phil Donohue of talkshow fame, has put the wind up an american Fox tv newsman, Bill O'Reilly here.

It is a really good read for a few reasons. Firstly, because we all knew Donohue was a legend when we were supposed to be studying for exams in the 80s, secondly because he makes such reasoned argument against the "war on terror" in Iraq, and finally because he illustrates how, in many situations, less is more.

I found the site via Russell Brown.

Water-cooler gossip (updated)

So can someone please tell me who the celebrity basher is?

Martha at woosh dot co dot nz.

Thanks ever so.

Update - here is the article. Thankfully I didn't dream it. I've had a somewhat hallucinatory weekend with the fever, but I don't think in my most crazed state I could produce this.

Not much to say

I can't really look at the previous post, with the nasty "l" word in it, without still feeling a little queasy.

After a very quiet Friday night I woke up on Saturday not feeling too bad. I had a lunch date with friends at the Matterhorn. It was lovely, free of children and men, and just very chilled. The food was splendid, and I love the service there. It never fails to impress me that they memorise everyone's order.

I decided to walk to the station through town, and do a bit of people watching. Well, I tell ya, I saw Mark Sainsbury and Mark Crysell (sp?) as I left Matterhorn, Nesian Mystik were playing in Manners Mall, then I saw the Governor General, then I saw some Greens (Rod Donald was the only one whose name I could remember - is "whose" a word?), and I also saw lots of mountain runners who I am sure are super celebrities in their own countries. I really enjoyed myself, until the creeping illness crept back.

I had to make an urgent call to Glen to come an rescue me from the city. I think I might have passed out on the train, and you don't want to be doing that on any of the Hutt services...

So yesterday I spent pretty much the whole day in bed. I read all the newspaper for a change, and dozed, and did not much else. Unfortunately this was punctuated with dashes to the bathroom and feeling very poorly indeed.

Glen is absolutely shattered. Two full days of looking after the boys on his own has fair tuckered him out. I'm quietly pleased about that.

Friday, September 23, 2005


I'm not at the Matterhorn having dinner with friends as planned. I am continuing to be ill and lie on the couch.

I think it could well have something to do with a laksa I ate yesterday.

Curse you, tasty laksa.

Official Public Apology

To Ms Hubris.

I am sorry. I should never have let on.

I will buy you a cocktail. It will make you forget you ever knew who won.

And if anyone else doesn't want to know, then don't scroll down the page, IT CONTAINS A SPOILER


Well, it turns out Petone has enough celebrants. It occurs to me this is something they could tell you when they send the application forms.

We might have to shift.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

No surprise really

To all one of my readers who also watch Inxs Rockstar - we are not surprised!

And it doesn't matter that I didn't like him, because I didn't really like Inxs that much anyway.

The story is here if you're interested.


It is ironic perhaps that I am writing about all these movies, when actually I don't want to, nor am I any good. Ironic in an Alanis Morisette way (ie. not ironic at all).

Oh well, I'm going to write another non-review, because I enjoyed Kinsey so much. It was funny, the subject matter is pretty interesting, and what great acting.

I love Oliver Platt. I think he was the entire reason for watching Huff, and I've just read that he is the inspiration for Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons. He only had a small part in Kinsey, and I think he is so coooool.

I'm also a big fan of John Lithgow - although he is played pretty much daily in this house as the voice of Lord Farquaad - someone has a Shrek obsession, and it ain't me.

Peter Sarsgaard is a very attractive piece of eye candy, and also worth watching Kinsey for.

The movie is choice. I don't think I'll go on about it anymore.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Bewitched my arse

Tonight for a kindy fundraiser I went to Bewitched. I'm pleased that some of the money went to kindy, because if it hadn't I would have spent a whole evening on very silly movie. At least kindy made $8 from it.

I don't know who would like the film. Maybe Nicole Kidman and Will Farrell and Michael Caine and Shirley Maclaine.

Update: I've toned down this review. I felt like I was being a bit negative.

John Key

Shouldn't we be a bit anxious now about the next election? I was consoling myself that if Don Brash won, at least he'd stuff up and Labour would win the next election. Now I think John Key will run for PM next time, and probably win (just because people will probably go off Labour a bit by then, as they do).

So, this Labour victory may mean John Key is the next PM. May be time to do that OE finally.

Monday, September 19, 2005


Hard to imagine in this little spell of hail and gales that we're experiencing, but summer is a comin' in lude a sing cuckoo - can you tell I went to Steiner - they loved those olde songs...

Anyhoo, I've booked the ferry and we're heading down south for 10 nights over Christmas. Yayayayayayyayay. We're going to try and make it as far as the Catlins. We lost our nerve when we were down there in May with the campervan, but I think with the car and pretty open ended ferry tickets we will probably make it. I'm very excited, I must always remember to book holidays ahead so I have something to look forward to.

Back Crack and Sacks

I can't recall where I wrote about this subject before, but I was reminded of the back crack and sack thing while reading David Farrar's blog today. It made me quite relieved that the left wing hopefully will remain in the throne. Those right-wingers are by and large the most humourless commenters I have ever seen. Check out what they said to Russell Brown (my secret love).

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Conundrum du jour

Okay, help you people.

The new laptop (shall we call him Kevin) has built in WiFi, or wifi, or whatever it should properly be called. And we have Woosh. Which is (theoretically) wireless, but is in practice actually stuck very much in one place, as the signal is weak, and you have to hold you elbow just so to get a decent connection.

One of the beauties of Kevin is that I should (theoretically) be able to sit on the couch, or in bed, or on the toilet if I so desire with him. I decided what was needed was a wireless router. And Alan, I know the Apple Airport is the way I should go, but it is quite pricey, and I'm looking at solutions for under $150. So we bought something with ports and an aerial, and I can't get the bloody thing to work. The software it came with seems to be pretty pus-y, and Kevin simply won't cooperate and use all his best intuitiveness and make it work. On the upside, Dick Smith said they'd give us our money back if it doesn't work, so our spur of the moment, Sunday afternoon purchase hasn't actually set us back at all.

But I want the thing to work NOW. That way I could be multi-tasking by cooking dinner and blogging.

Whaddayareckon peeps?

Beehive cake

Beehive cake

Malo's birthday cake this year reflects the fact his birthday fell on election day.

Bit of a wobbly cake, but still tasty.

Peter Dunne-ce

Well what an exciting election. We went down and cast our votes at about 3.30pm. It is fair to say I was at that point somewhat lagered after a very nice first birthday party for my lovely son.

I thought it fairly inappropriate there was a dude sitting behind the desk with a National ribbon. Had a have been a little more sober I probably would have remembered about scrutineers and left him alone. Nevermind. I'm sure he felt important.

And what a nail-biter the election results were. Our friends came around at about 7.30, and at that point we were feeling pretty pessimistic. But what a dramatic night. Al Quaeda wanting to fly into the Sky Tower, and lots of action packed results. Rodney eh? Do you know, I like him. Not in a 'I'd vote for him' way, but in a 'I'm sure he'd be interesting to have a drink with', and frankly, I'm pretty pleased he beat the National guy.

And 'kinoath. Peter Dunne sure made himself sound like a total graceless prick, with his humourless comments about the media. And he fancies himself kingmaker, so all a bit rich talking about reporters being self-made stars. I thought he acted like a complete and utter dork. Prior to the election I was very amused to read that he'd met all his parties objectives - one of which was to keep marijuana illegal (slow clap). Wow. What a legend, it must have been real tough winning that battle.

And now he won't sit with the Greens in cabinet. I sincerely hope that Labour can form a government without him if that is the case. We can live without (another) little jumped about eejit about the place.