Fakey typing

I'm trying to type as if I'm doing a tax return, because Glen is working and I'm feeling guilty, but holy shit, is there anything more boring than going through a years worth of bank statements and adding up the total you paid for electricity? I think not.

I've got a new business strategy, which is (tentatively) named "Succeeding at online Lotto". I'm doing okay thus far, $36 win tonight. I figure the win is a nice little warm up to the bigger prizes, best not to go into shock with a Division One prize straight away. I've already promised Finn a second basin with our future winnings/earnings, so that Malo won't be able to turn the tap off before he has finished brushing his teeth. He was in hysterics when I explained the "ensuite" concept to him.

I'm sort of knitting a scarf, well, I would be if I wasn't pretending to be doing a tax return. I've started and restarted it 5 times already. I keep changine my mind about size, stitch and so on.

And I'm watching not-gay Tom Cruise on Mission Impossible Something. I have to admit, I did think he was hot in Top Gun, but I was REALLY young, and hormones have a lot to answer for.

These are a few of my favourite things

I have been a bit torn about my personal blog sharing the same name as my shop. I'm not a particularly private person, but I've become strangely shy about revealing how shallow I am to the general public (and by general public, I mean person who may spend money in my shop). I'm just not very appropriate, and I really admire people that can blog about their work and sound professional. I tried blogging at Babylicious, and it was a disaster.

So I decided to give up that game. I'm just going to spin my general shit, and when I like stuff that is in the shop, I'm going to write about it. It will be a departure from other shop blogs, who do it much better, but you know, stuff it. I'm me.

Plus I managed to make my computer recognise my phone, so I took some pictures today. It is raining and quiet in here, and I need to entertain myself.



This a set of Eames chair stamps. I can't think of many uses, but I freaking love them, and you could just become mysterious and sign off all your letters with a chair.



What is not to love about a watering can shaped like a poodle or a cow? We have pink elephants too, if that is your thang.



This appeals on so many levels. The first is very obvious (did you know the shop next door is called Handles, Knockers and Knobs? And may be the very reason I chose this particular location, so I could say "we're next to Handles, Knockers and Knobs"?). Also, the book is awesome, all about hand made tyep faces, or fonts or whatever. It is fresh off the plane from Switzerland, so very continental.



My friend makes these cards (the pic does them no favours), and they are the most beautiful cards that exist. Anywhere.



SEAM cushions just keep on getting more and more beautiful. They're snuggly, and in my dream mansion, I'd have a conversation pit with 400 of them in it.

Weekly check in

I swear to all the saints and apostles and Madonna, that I shall resume regular writing in approximately 11 days.

In the meantime, usual not much to report. I keep wanting to be all overcome with Richard Branson entrepreneurial vigour, and be able to report jumping off buildings, but mainly I just try to discretely hide my fascination with the length of Britney's hair and unpublished inappropriate posts about movie sex.

Um, business is ticking along nicely. The light is at the end of the tunnel after a period of heavy investment, which left our reserves a bit sketchy. All better now, thank god, have to spend money to make money and all that.

The dog is still cute, and quite crazy. I like her a lot more on walks now I use a head halter thing. It freaks the little girls on the way to school, though, because they think it is a muzzle and she is vicious.

And now I'm going to bed.

Good things Thursday (slightly varying the bullet point format with headings)

Cupcakes
I made some cupcakes, and some insane buttery "frosting", which involved egg whites and sugar syrup and all sorts of trickiness. They're delicious.
New toaster
Our old toaster was actually ace, but I wanted one for the shop, so got a massive one for home and now I'll be able to scoff peanut butter on toast all day long in the shop too. And at home I'll be able to feed 58 people in a single push of the toaster lever.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack
I really like being my own boss, and playing whatever crap music I want in the shop. Today it is Brad and Janet.
Teatowels
Make me happy because they're finally here.

*update, Rocky Horror is cool and all, but slightly uncomfortable when there is just one customer in the store and we're listening to Touch a touch me.

More bullets (for I am full of imagination)

• Can't stop thinking about cupcakes, went to make some today, missing paper cups. Tomorrow I will prevail.
• Loving the new Sam Scott and Bunnies on Ponies album. You will too.
• We finally have some teatowels in stock with which to make some Dishy hats. It has been a long time coming, but now we can actually take the show on the road (so to speak).
• I slept on the couch last night, due to Glen having that hideous gastro thing, and me not wanting to get it. I am still disturbed about the dream I had about Mr Dooce. Big hands. The couch lends itself to waking up all night long, and disturbing dreams. Tonight I'm prepared to risk the gastro thing.
• I know it isn't the most rock and roll thing to talk about, but holy shizz, this weather has been amazing. I love autumn, and the lack of wind.
• I want to plant a garden in the front yard. Have I said that already? Yeah, well it hasn't happened yet (osmosis doesn't seem to be doing the trick). Apparently it is a sign of having time on your hands, the pursuit of the idle rich. Dunno where I read that, sounds like a crock to me.
• Speaking of idle rich, I just bought heaps of stuff on Strawberrynet from the comfort of aforementioned couch. Reviews will follow (although I can already safely say that Origins Modern Friction is the work of the gods, and cheap as chips on Strawberrynet).
• Watching Gossip Girl
• xoxo
  

Yummy in my tummy

Beautiful!
Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

Look what was on my doorstep when I got home today. Delicious, beautiful and exciting. Thanks Oy Vey for the fantabulous surprise.

Success!

Sitting here working through our stocktake and listening to the radio, and they say that March was bad for the retail sector. Yippee! We had a good month, so maybe my 200% theory has worked, maybe without my psychic skillz we would've had a dunger month too.

I tell you, Michael Hill et al. could learn a lot from me.

Edgy. I'm doing that thing where you think of words (word association?), and everyone dies of boredom.

Clean. The house is pleasant, Thursdays the house becomes clean, and for a few hours I feel a tiny bit house proud.
Crap. Telly.
Full. My tummy, with takeaways from Kilim over the road from the shop.
Yummy. My dinner was.
Radiation. How much sitting with a laptop on ones knees can ones body handle?
Long. Days at the shop when it gets dark so early.
Yawn. I'm going to sneak into my bed shortly.

Mother's day

Thought I should mention my splendid Mother's Day.

I put my order in for breakfast (peeled apple, chopped into pieces, fruit muffins with nice fresh butter, cup of tea, feijoas). It came beautifully arranged on a tray with some lavender in a wee vase, some liquorice allsorts on the side, and a box of scorched almonds. Perfecto! And I didn't go into the shop at all. Well, that is a slight lie, I nipped in to give Glen some lunch, but apart from that lounged around on the couch eating my gifts and sort of entertaining the kids, and thinking that I quite enjoy Mother's Day.

For my own mama I got a lovely brooch from Art Divine. Available you know where...

'kinoath! A week!

I love me some swear words. I think I've spent my adult life rebelling against my youthful self, who never swore. No idea why I didn't then, but now I love it. I'm careful not to swear around the kiddies though. I just think it is a bit of a bad look, the kiddies with the gutter mouths. Somewhere Malo has picked up "phut", despite my best efforts. I'm hoping that "phut" just sounds like the noise of an angry engine, and not the genuine source of the word.

What else. Things have been a bit quiet around these parts. No massive raves, no dining with the Queen. The shop has been really busy, which is so awesome. My business plan for 200% didn't really work, but the 50% one seems to be. Maybe the 200% plan will kick in this week. I urge anyone thinking of spending humungous amounts of moolah to do so out my way, therefore making my trip to Oprah that much more likely. In fact, if you'd like to spend 200k instore, I'll take you to Chicago myself.

Business according to Ms Martha

• Pick a completely arbitrary amount of money to aim for as turnover based on rent + vague idea of overheads + vague idea of acceptable amount to live on.
• Meet above turnover almost immediately, so decide it wasn't really right and bump it up by 50% (advice: projections based on realistic figures to be avoided)
• Wonder why I didn't up the projections by 200%, and aim to be rich.
• Bump up the projections by 200%
• Wait with eager anticipation for the dozens, nay hundreds, of customers who will flood the store tomorrow, having psychically picked up my new 200% projection.
• Write to Oprah about fantastic new psychic projection scheme, she loves that shit.
• Get invited to parties at Oprah's place with Tom Cruise.
• Hail Xenu.
  

Shelf poem for Robyn

like a yearning
chasm
of available space

a tender minute
of ply
caress

a lanky plank
of splintered
plane

a poem
that is utterly
lame

I'm doing a dance while I write. I call it "horizontal extension".

There goes another day

This morning in bed I was lazily dozing quite late (while the cat's away), and listening to Nat Rad. They were talking about the nasty Austrian daddy/grandaddy, and also about the giant squid. In my sleepy state I couldn't tell whether it was those poor children that lived in the basement, or the squid, that had enlarged pores because of the dark, and enlarged irises. In my brain now those poor children are a little colossal squid as well as a little bit grandchild/child.