Monday, May 05, 2008

Business according to Ms Martha

  • Pick a completely arbitrary amount of money to aim for as turnover based on rent + vague idea of overheads + vague idea of acceptable amount to live on.
  • Meet above turnover almost immediately, so decide it wasn't really right and bump it up by 50% (advice: projections based on realistic figures to be avoided)
  • Wonder why I didn't up the projections by 200%, and aim to be rich.
  • Bump up the projections by 200%
  • Wait with eager anticipation for the dozens, nay hundreds, of customers who will flood the store tomorrow, having psychically picked up my new 200% projection.
  • Write to Oprah about fantastic new psychic projection scheme, she loves that shit.
  • Get invited to parties at Oprah's place with Tom Cruise.
  • Hail Xenu.


Sarah said...

So weird. This morning my e-meter told me that I should rush to Wanda Harland and buy things...

sas said...

I TOTALLY picked up that vibe. And now my organic neighbours have saved themselves a fortune. Thanks to Mysterio's predictive t-shirt, baby Walt is going to be a conspiracy nut. He don't need no education for that...