Up to my elbows in shit - for reals!

Lesson: (with bullet points, since they're so effective at conveying important facts)

• Perhaps you shouldn't rely on 5 year olds to remember the oft repeated "don't put too much paper in the loo, it will block".
• Swishing the toilet brush around won't do much.
• Using a small vessel to remove the toilet papery water will make the entire unblocking procedure less wet in the long run.
• Don't feel the need to adhere to the above point until at least halfway through the de-blocking. Many splashes around the place provides an awesome chance to totally sterilise that bathroom you've been meaning to clean.
• Don't be afraid to undo things on pipes that look like only plumbers should undo. Life was meant to be a rollercoaster.
• Tongs are convenient for turning sausages on bbqs, and also for removing wedged loo paper and other assorted detritus (ahem).
• Wheelie bins are perfect for discarding aforementioned tongs.
• STAND BACK! That shitty water will make a bee-line for you as it gushes through.
• Thank the sun for being nice and hot, and warming the water in the hose, so cleaning the deck up isn't so unpleasant.
• Go and spend the $80 saved on a plumber on things that make you feel better, like perhaps therapy, or a babysitter.