My new glasses are splendidly shiny, don't fall off my face, allow me to see more detail than I'm altogether comfortable with on other people's skin, and I'm not squinting at all! I can feel the wrinkles at the corners of my eyes sigh a breath of relief, and vanish.
Okay, so I'm dreaming.
Update: It has been pointed out to me by a couple of people that I look a bit scary in this picture. It is quite odd, because that is exactly how I look like to myself in the mirror, but I suppose I must look friendlier when I'm talking and so on. And you know what? I'll never know what my back looks like either.