Saturday, November 11, 2006

And the slithy tove...

4.32am the dark sleepy hollow of Petoneville...

BIG LOUD NOISE

Our heroes, Martha and Glen , wake from their slumber.

Martha: (shrill voice) what was that?

Glen: (manly booming voice) I'll go see

trot trot door eeeearghhh click door eeeearghh click. Rustle of the venetians (TASTEFUL I tell you).

G: nothing

M: boys okay?

G: yep

M: is the back door locked?

G: (sigh) I'll go look

G: All the doors are locked, perhaps something fell into the bath from the windowsill

M: things don't just fall (imagines humungous rats scampering over heads of babies and moving shampoo bottles)

Glen tries to sleep. Martha comes up with 50 ways we'll be killed in our beds based on random noise.

4.42am

M: wasn't there a kind of hisssssssssssssssssssss at the end of the noise?

G: mmmm

M: Like a bottle of ginger beer exploding in the hot water cupboard?

G: you should go and check

Martha imagines the big rats licking the edge of the ginger beer puddle.

4.45am

G: (exasperated voice) aren't you going to check?

So I did, and it was, and there were no rats. There is however some soggy linen, which I'm avoiding by writing up this scintillating horror novella.

The ginger beer is very yummy. We only lost a litre.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

In my teens my mum made ginger beer at home, it was deliciously scrummy but it did pop its corks. She got some little plastic inserts from somewhere or other (homebrew store?) that you put in the bottletops and they popped out with a small amount of pressure. I think it meant you had to check your bottles frequently to see if any had popped so you could recover them or something (to keep bugs out) but it did mean you didn't get the explosions.

Another idea is loose cling film and an elastic band. The film expands into balloons atop your bottle, I believe. Even a plastic sandwich bag and a rubber band would work, you could release the gas when it was getting tight and set it up again.

Ginger beer is one of the few things I don't allow myself any more now that I'm diabetic **sob** Otherwise I'd ask for a donation of your ginger beer plant - don't you have to divide it every eight days or something?

Anonymous said...

mmm ginger beer sheets. I'd love my bedlinen to smell like gingerbeer! Better than that musty smell anyday.
As for the tops.. yes! There'd def be one to fit you. But I won't be making any for my site until after xmas, and one from dandylion will set you back a fairly hefty amount!
I'll keep you posted x

Urban Chick said...

was it brillig outside at the time?

because one sees a lot of gyring and gimbling on such occasions

Martha Craig said...

Tis always brillig here.

And mimsy were the cabbage trees.

Martha Craig said...

Oh Rhiannon, I might have a nose at Dandylion! They're so cute I can't wait.