Crawly Crustacean

Bloody hell. You stop blogging for two days, and suddenly you're a Crawly Crustacean.

Mutter mutter.

Anyhow, I'm feeling VERY HI TECH. Well, I have my very high tech friend Emily busily trying to retrieve lost files, and in the meantime I have set up our old PC in the sleepout. Gads, it is virtually a network.

What next? We'll be talking on one of those telephonic thingamabobs to people miles away! We'll be watching people walk on moons! We'll be getting food delivered by men in cars!

Your expertise please

I'm actually quite enjoying starting anew with my laptop now all the drama is over.

I'm ready for all you clever peeps to give me your software recommendations. Brena, thanks for your backup advice, I shall investigate forthwith.

The other thing I need that springs to mind is an RSS reader thingymabob. I did have Sage. It was nice and neat at the side of my page, but SLOW. And it would just jump aboard whichever page was open, which was a bit painful. Is there something better?

Any other hot techno tips are welcome too. I'm going to paint this baby racing car red and make it go FAST (metaphorically speaking).

The horror

Today I more or less got a new laptop. Well, not really. Really I managed to (Indian accent call centre voice) "totally corrupt the whole system". Which means I've had to reinstall all the original disks and have lost EVERYTHING. Man, and it took a whole day to do. Stupid computer. And no, not a good time to enquire as to why I haven't backed everything up. I'm more a live for the now girl. And yes, I have plans to back things up in the future.

I just can't face installing firefox and sage and so on right now, because I'm tired, and I love/hate computers, and Buffy is beckoning (well, lets be honest, Angel is beckoning).

Garrrr, no bookmarks, no photos, no dodgy list of passwords.

Gone, all gone.

Did you miss me?

Aye carumba, what a catch up is required.

Day by day I think may be best.

Wednesday: Drove over to the Wairarapa. We went to Martinborough for a play at the playground (cool old play things that can get you quite hurt. Don’t tell OSH). We got some lunch too, and a couple of cool t-shirts at Thrive.

Moved on to my parent’s house which is halfway between Carterton and Masterton in the country. I had to take off for further shopping in the metropolis of Masterton (secret birthday business). All the people in Masterton are on P. And all anyone under 20 says is “fuck”. It was so delightful. Went back to the haven of the homestead and had a nice bbq and some wine. It was magic. After the kids went to bed we watched Buffy. Bless.

Thursday: Went for a swim at the great pool in Masterton. Actually nobody at the pool seemed to be on P. A better class of people I think.

Did some looking around Greytown. The place is so ritzy.

Did I mention it was Glen’s birthday? He is 42. Old. He didn’t warn me when we met he’d be 42 at some stage, but then I kept mum about being 33 at some stage myself, so all fair. So the day was spent asking Glen what he would like to do, which seemed to pretty much involve driving around the countryside.

We scoped out Bambino Cafe in Carterton, since they have the same business name. They haven't got the same coffee making talent I fear. Well worth stopping if you have kids though. Avoid Coffee and buy slice.

Friday: We had a family Christmas back in Petone. My sister is off to Japan with her wee family, so we get to have Christmas twice. Nice.

Saturday: Bored yet? Some stuff during the day, and some Buffy during the evening (it is getting very good).

Sunday: You know, stuff. Probably more Buffy soon.

(Okay, now you're Madonna) Holiday!

We're going away for a few days to the Wairarapa, and being a fairly low-tech family we won't have internet access.

I hope you all miss me so much that you don't quite cope, and just as you're about to crack I'll return and fill your life with joy.

Or you could take to the bottle, which is definitely my recommended route.

Adieu to yer and yer and yer.

Seven Deadly Sins

Dear Kate has me tagged.


The Seven Deadly Sins

Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride. Which (if any) have you broken and give examples.

Lust: No.
I'm as pure as the driven snow. I wouldn't look twice at Jude Law, nor at any young waiters anywhere.

Gluttony: No.
I eat to live, not live to eat. Apart from delicious things.

Greed: No
If I won lotto I'd give it to all the poor starving children in Eastern Europe. I'd never buy a convertible and drive around Wellington just LAUGHING.

Sloth: No.
You could eat off my floor. In fact we do.

Wrath: No.
I practice yoga and tai chi, and it keeps me very level and centered.

Envy: No.
I have never envied the people in the Plischke House in Brooklyn, and hoped they'd lose their marbles and swap houses. Never.

Pride: No.
I'm far too modest for any of that.

Disclaimer:
Some or all of the above may in fact be a lie.

Domestic Goddess, Make Tea, Rosie, Emily, hers

Consider yourself tagged! For some reason I've picked all the lay-dies. If you're a bloke then do it. Go on. In fact I think I'll tag Mr Reasonable and Ben too.

Weekend roundup

It was my biggest weekend in YEARS.

Friday night we went to a friend's house for dinner. What a fab night. We started with bubbly yummy drinkie things, and moved through an amazing menu. Outfuckingstanding. We even had the new Beaujolais. Felt quite flash and fun and grownup.

And Saturday we went to SJD and Phoenix Foundation. I'm no reviewer, but suffice to say we thought it was the best gig ever ever ever. SJD were fab. Such musicians! Such a light show! And that drummer! What a legend.

And Phoenix Foundation? Little known fact - Phoenix Foundation were my chosen labour music, so I was already a fan, but they were soooo good. Glen announced at the end they are his new favourite, which I thought was really funny, like when you're 12. They were great though. Such a show! They had terrific visuals too.

And I saw Noizyboy and introduced myself (he looks just like his picture). He was very nice.

And I saw loads of other people who I like a lot too. It was very convivial, and now I want to go to Fly My Pretties at the Opera House on the 9th December, and I think anyone reading this should go.

Sport Billy Strikes Again

I was off on my walk this morning, walkman plugged into ears, and just to prove what a nerd I am - radio tuned to National Radio for the news, and I heard about the Rugby World Cup.

Now, I didn't know I cared, but do you know - I ran - that's right RAN home to tell Glen.

And Rexona 24 hour deodorant doesn't work under such circumstances. Charlatans.

And I'm nowhere near ready to run 5km for the Duathlon. Three blocks was PLENTY.

Why can't anyone on Trademe spell "bargain"?

Today I've had a very successful day on Trademe. I have bought tickets for Toast Martinborough, and I have also sold tickets for Toast Martinborough. The very same tickets. On this rare occasion I was not in it for the money, but we had a quick change of plans related to something I'm not allowed to write about in case any of Glen's workmates read my blog.

That was not the end of my trade me work though, oh no. It was very near the beginning. Actually I only said that because I thought it had a nice ring to it.

I am very happy with another purchase I made. Two tickets to the SJD and the Phoenix Foundation at the Opera House on Saturday. Yipppeee. And only $40. A veritable BARGIN. Nicey nice. Happy hap.

No, I haven't had anything to drink. I may be a little high from cleaning fluids though. The kitchen is shiiiiiiiny.

I love him just a little

I have always been rather fond of Dilbert. It is a healthy reminder of what I am missing out on being at home with the children.

Scott Adams (Dilbert's creater) has been blogging for a few weeks now, and I think he is brilliant. Well worth a read.

Wouldn't it be great to be fabulously creative and paid handsomely for it? He is living the dream - well, my dream.

Thanks to Mike for recommending him.

Oh bring it on baby

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 6/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Thanks to About Town.

Study

I have given up the Interior Design thing. They were a bunch of crazies, and I have realised that just because you paint your house and like design magazines, you don't have to be one. Although I'd still love to do design. Properly, not through the Open Polytech (dicks).

I have decided instead to focus my attention on a qualification I began about 4 years ago. I mainly like it because when I finish (only 2 papers to go) I'll be

Wanda Harland
BA, PG Dip Bus Admin. (Comms).

Which sounds better even than my husband's qualification, and he is a doctor. Well, not better, but longer.

I was very pleased to see that Massey has a new course I can do towards it called Political Communications. I'll work those buggers out yet.

And if I want to become Prime Minister, I suspect it is a slightly better path to go down than Interior Design.

Photo software

I've ended you taking Mr Reasonable's advice, and have bought the latest NetGuide. It has a free version of ACDSee, which I have downloaded because I am a small amount shallow, and love the name. It is really good. Very simple to understand, and most importantly it is very easy to erase ones blemishes. I've got the trial version at the moment, so I'll give it a month and see what happens.

I got scared of the Gimp, I couldn't for the life of me work out how to download the thing. This is no real reflection on the Gimp though, as my attention span is about 2 minutes, and it just took a little longer than that.

Google ads

I'm dying to know how much the Google ads pay. Feel free to tell me your darkest secrets regarding income anytime.

I am wondering if Google might rank one higher if one is advertising their product? Or is that a little too conspiracy theoryisty.

By request

You will be overwhelmed by the hirsute-ness of my hairy dude after a week and a half of vigorous moustache growing.

Before



After

Goodbye Ms Vile

The Vile File is going! I'm quite surprised. I would love to be so successful and engaging with blogging, but can't really be fagged putting in the effort. I love that the Vile File succeeded where I can't be arsed to tread.

So goodbye.

From an Uber-Mummy.

La moustache est morte

I'm sure my french is letting me down somewhat. Good thing they got rid of School Cert, as my School Cert french isn't doing me any favours.

Basically Glen has gone back to being a bald face. I think if you don't have convincing facial hair it is a mistake to try and make it look convincing.

And he said he felt a bit embarrassed when people looked at him. I suggested he send an email out to all his colleagues to explain, but he didn't seem to think that would be very cool. You can read why they may be feeling a little humourless here on Public Address.

The Corporation

I watched the Corporation the other day, it was a terrifically scary documentary.

I'm not going into the detail, but from hereon in I intend to buy as much as I can from local producers, and I am going to aspire to be much less of a consumer.

I'm pleased I have been using cloth nappies for a year now. I can feel a tiny bit virtuous.

I am also going to try very hard to give up desiring my dream chair, and find a nice locally designed replacement (sob).

Buffy yippeeeee

Friday night we had a decent dose of seabreezes and bubbly, and got talking to our neighbour Jannene about Buffy. The dark horse, she owns all the series on DVD. We were rapt when we got home from a bbq on Saturday to find the first series in our letterbox.

We watched the first couple of episodes in bed on the laptop last night. I think we've reached the pinnacle of civilised society. A TV series, no ads, in bed. And lets face it, Buffy can be a little bit scary, so very nice to already be in the safest part of the house.

I have seen the occasional episode of Buffy, and always thought it was terrific. I'm pleased to be catching up with the rest of the world, watching it all now.

Martha my dear

Thanks Popbitch for another fabulous link-fest.

Dictionareoke plays Martha My Dear as you've never heard it. Also worth checking out The Buggles Video killed the Radio Star and many other gems.

Helpful post

That Supernanny, Jo Frost, is okay. Lots of parents are a little useless, and her advice is useful for people that haven't discovered Diane Levy.

Always make passes at girls who wear glasses (but not boys with moustaches)




This public service announcement was brought to you by a seabreeze.

And edited with due remorse that Wanda Harland had turned to griping about tv stars.

The 'tache cont...

Well Movember is still going. I'm not coping very well with the wispy lip fur Glen is sporting. I don't think he is either.

So as not to be the bitch who ruins Movember, I'm not saying anything.

My friend who has organised all this said "not to judge the 'tache 'til you've felt the pash". Pass.

Kircaldies with all the ladies

Tonight Plunket had a fundraiser at Kirks. You paid $5 to get in, and got 10% off everything.

This of course means you can't find a single thing anywhere in the store to buy. Basically I ended up going after the nice young men with the Christmas mince pies, and then mooching over to the Cuisine store to see what yummies were available there.

The hoards of middle aged ladies were so pleased to have sniffed out some grog, that there was no getting close to the slushy alcoholic stuff. I talked to a nice chap who makes oils and salts and spice rubs and relishes. I bought some nice Moroccan rub, which is so insane, because I couldn't bring myself to spend $100 on Stephanie Alexander's Cooks Companion, but $8 seemed reasonable for some spices we have in the cupboard.

Of course there are worse things in the world than cruising a nice shop for a while. It beats Push 'n' Shove hands down.

Trademe strikes again

I have bought a mouse from trademe - a computer mouse, not a reeking rodent.

It is very funky, with flashing disco lights. The last one I bought off trademe was very funky and red, but wireless, so it chewed through batteries in about 3 minutes.

This one sensibly plugs into the usb port. However, the downside of the flashing lights is THAT I AM GOING INSANE. The blue one has a direct line into my brain. My hand can't quite cover it. I feel doomed to go and buy a sensible ugly one.

Chow!

Wicked! I've just been told, and then witnessed myself, that Chow is opening in Petone.

If you ever had any doubts about the Hutt, let them go and move out here pronto.

yipppppppeeeee

I'm not rich yet

My blog is worth $14,113.50.
How much is your blog worth?

Looks like nobody will be buying my blog. Nevermind. I still have coffee.

By the way, if anyone knows of someone wanting a coffee cart, the times here are a-changin, so there may be one going spare. I'll keep you posted.

Martha and Glen's Excellent Adventure (with illustrations)

We arranged for my mother to babysit and stay overnight, so that we wouldn't feel guilty about returning home late.

Like two people not in their 30s and 40s we waited for the train at Ava Station with all the naughty youths.



It was very festive on the train. Lots of young people, old people and families setting off for the fireworks display. One young boganess was boasting of her cheap drunk status "Only takes me 6 KGBs" - "Jailbait" muttered the elderly lady next to us.

The fireworks were great, aided in part by our coffee cups of beer. Now that is classy. We hooked up with my sister there.

After the display we went up to Bodega. Being from the 'burbs we forgot that absolutely nobody is seen dead at the pub before 10pm. This meant we scored primo seats.

Mestar played first. They were brilliant. The first song sounded like a bit of a tribute to Garageland, but not in a bad way. They tell me they're recording next week, so keep an ear out. They're with Arch Hill Records.

The Bats played next, and they were GREAT. Amazing. There ended up being loads of real Bats groupies there.



Just to clarify in case anyone missed it, I'm related to a couple of the Bats, so I don't quite qualify as a groupie, but I sort of am.



They did lots of old and new songs, and two encores. Kaye sang Mir so beautifully I nearly wept. It was lovely. My sister and I danced lots. I didn't try and boof into anyone, which shows how mature I have become since I last danced at Bodega.



And we drank lots. And I didn't even know Bodega had a secret squirrel bar. And it was great.



And we got home at 3am. And we got woken at 6.10am. So I'm a bit tired today.

It was worth it though.

It's Movember!

My male friends, in their infinite wisdom, have seen fit to announce this month to be Movember. My husband, in his infinite slight lack of wisdom, has joined the game. The rules? No shaving of the upper lip for the duration of Movember, with a party to celebrate hirsute-ness early December (or Shavember as I'm fondly thinking of it, or better still, my birthday!).

The chaps aren't allowed any hair below the lip, nor any meeting of 'tache and sidies. I think there will be some fairly corker photo ops coming up.

Actually I'm not too concerned about my husband having a moustache. He tried to grow one 15 years ago, and not a soul noticed. Now he is grey, it will barely show.

Plus my dad has one. And he is handsome.

Adult swing seat

You need to be careful what you come up with when you search "adult swing seat". However, in this instance it is my hot tip for a Christmas pressie for a loved one - or for yourself.

I bought my father one of these swing seats about 12 years ago. It is still going strong, hung from a tree in the Wairarapa. It is probably the most comfortable place you will ever enjoy. Glen has put in a request for one. They're kinda pricey, but hell, some people pay that much for a massage.

Speaking of which, I saw a job for a tantric masseuse in the paper yesterday. They offer on the job training.

And since we're having family day at Wanda Harland

Young Malo started walking today. Properly. On his own, and further than from one of us to the other.

Kindy has turned to custard

Poor Finn has decided to hate kindy. It is killing us all. On one hand I know we should persist through all the crying and being miserable (and Finn's crying too), but I'm just not convinced it is worth it. Kindy only runs for another 5 or 6 weeks, and it would seem mad to keep pushing it if he isn't going to get better.

The teachers are being very nice and telling us the right thing to do is leave him to it.

Arrrrrghhhh.

Who got in?

Anyone RSVP in time to go to the Karajoz Great Blend?

3 more sleeps

The Bats play on Saturday at Bodega. It will be cool and fun, and there will be drinking and merriment. Please come.

Sorry

I'm going to have to put in that annoying letter thingy when you comment. I've been good and deleting all the crap, but to be honest I'm a bit sick of it.

I apologise, I know it is a nuisance, and I don't want to deter anyone from commenting.

So go on. Make a comment.

Listen up!

Can't remember where I saw this, maybe Mike? Make one here, they're cool.

Actually perhaps I'll start a religion. They're very lucrative I understand. Look at Brian Tamaki. He can obviously afford to pay someone to put gunk in his hair every day. It wouldn't need to be very credible, look at Scientology. It just needs a charismatic, yet corrupt, leader. I could be that person.

Halloween

Be prepared for a few vacuous posts today.

Why don't the children come to get lollies off us at Halloween? Only one lot came last night. I have mini m&ms and perky nanas coming out my ears.

I know if I don't buy masses of lollies next year we'll get squillions of kids swing by. We'll be those lame-o people who give an apple and a box of raisins.

Oh what a lovely eeeevening

Last night was spent at the Mediterranean Warehouse at a Pizza Banquet. It was delicious food, and lots of cheap chianti. Cheap chianti is easy to drink, but by heck you feel crook in the morning.

So that is me now. Crook.

My sister has lots of very cool friends and workmates. I met Mr Spider's cousin, who was a total babe. They had a hottie young waiter which was nice.

For some reason I feel like I have smoked a packet of cigarettes. This is strange because there were no cigarettes anywhere. But I feel shaky, and my mouth is gross.