Steep learning curve of my soul

Not really, but I'm eager for people not to think me shallow.

Ha!

I'm quite proud of myself for creating pop-up windows on my babylicious site. Check out the dressing room, and you can make the wee pictures big. Clever eh?

Thanks Dreamweaver. I only said that so you'd be singing "Dreamweaver" for the rest of the day like me.

There is no little hand to indicate that you will open a pop-up window yet. Small steps though people. I'm just blown away by the fact I managed to take some photos, and then get them on the internet.

I think it may have been valuable to pay a little more attention to ironing. Who would've thought I'd ever need to be good at ironing?

When the moon hits your eye

Like a big pizza pie, that's amore

When you hear these words, well, don't you imagine a big piece of cheesy pizza hitting your eye?

Taxman (woman, transgender person)

Soon our sleepout will officially be Babylicious central. In many respects this is very good. There will no longer be piles of t shirts drying, waiting to be printed, waiting to be labelled, drying stencils, drying screens, ironing board and iron and labels all over our house. On the other hand I can't claim our entire house for a tax rebate. If they did choose to audit me, they would be amazed to see that a house can really be used 100% for a business.

I can't wait to have it back though, and return to the more reasonable 8% usage, or whatever it is our sleepout takes up.

Where does time go?

I've been meaning all week to do a shout out to Wendy.

Whoop whoop! Raise the roof! Whoop!

Oh fer goodness sake

Why? Why do Carly Binding and Donald Reid have to cover If You Tolerate this? And why did my happy chilled outness have to be ruined by National Radio playing that Punk Rocker with Flowers in My Hair song?

Why?

And how dumb would a punk-rocker look with flowers perched on the mohawk? Huh?

Why? Why? WHY???

Ahh, I could get used to this

No children! Well, for a couple of hours. One is at kindy, the other at my parent's house.

And I'm taking the opportunity to get on top of the chaos here. Or I would be, if I weren't receiving gifts of gorgeous bags and chocolate



and packaging up some tops to go to Auckilicious.

And there is sun on the couch, and National Radio on the stereo, and things are pretty darn cruisey.

I imagine this is what life would be like if you were really really rich.

righty ho

I'm done with winter thanks.

Hit whores

I know you're all clever (and goodlooking - obviously, as we all know the internet appeals to the beautiful), so how do I get my babylicious website to score high on Google?

And HONESTLY, I thought I made up the word babylicious until about 3 days ago when I typed it into Google thinking my new website would pop up, and what the? There are about a squillion babylicious mo fos out there.

Spreadsheet

Glen has made a spreadsheet up of all the permutations and combinations of shirts I make. There are over 600 different combinations.

This makes it perfectly clear why every time someone asks me if I have a 3-6 month white shirt with a green NZ, I always say "no" and need to make it for them. The chance of someone asking me for a shirt I already have printed is (complex mathematical equation do do do do sound)

1 in 46.7 billion.

I need to streamline my systems.

7 more bullet points

Signifying a definite lack of creativity.

• Big Love starts on TV2 tonight. 2 hours! I can't wait.
• I need to do some kind of inventory of my stock. Doesn't that sound official?
• You know how I wasn't unwell like everyone else yesterday? Well, now I can only dream.
• Mint slices are the finest biscuit available.
• We started getting the paper delivered today. Expect an increased awareness of events (like sales, and you know, movies - oh, and Big Love!)
• I've been imagining 'Hizbollah' is spelled 'Hezbollah'. My brain feels cheated.
• Woah oh oh dreamweaver, I believe doo doo doo doo do do doooo ooo.

Update: Obviously Hezbollah is spelled Hezbollah (DPF spells it this way too), and I should trust my brain more than the Dom Post - although I daresay it is probably one of those things I could simply google and find out that it is spelled both ways. But frankly, if I googled everything to confirm, what the rolly would I write about? And I kind of hate lots of links. Life is too short.

10 Bullet Points

• I am not ill, but almost everyone else in my family is.
• Extras is on telly, I haven't really been concentrating.
• Stitch and bitch was good. Lots of people, lots of bitching.
  
• I like Dreamweaver. However, since I've installed it I have been singing Dreamweaver every 7 minutes.
• These 10 bullet points aren't going anywhere.
• Because it is bedtime.
• And all I have done today is run around like a chook without a noggin.
• And I'm tired.
• And in denial about the 17 loads of washing waiting to be folded.
• Life ain't so rock n roll today.
  

Websites are go!

My very attractive website is now on! Although there is zero content. I will remedy that as soon as I have recovered from a nasty bout of "food poisoning" (ahem).

And I will remedy the slight navigation glitch too.

Tinks made it. Isn't he the cleverest?

Blimey

I had some guest bloggers last night. Can you tell?

They tried to interview me, but as we'd had 5 bottles of wine, it didn't really flow.

Observations of an evening

Q: On the evening of Tuesday 18 July, where were you?
A: Very happy thank you.

Q: And what were you taking to cure that?
A: I'd really like to just wake up a year from now.

Q: Is this the off ramp I should be taking?
A: No, my hands are much bigger than Tinks'.

Q: Would you like a glass of water?
A: No, I want something that sounds me waay more rock and roll than that.

Q: What Oscare nominee(s) have you snogged?
A: I'm glad you didn't ask me that question.

Fame. It's a wonderful thing.

10 questions for wanda

Why did you get married in Vegas?
We wanted t0 travel and, Las Vegas was on the way to Europe. And you loved Glen.
When did you decide to have babies?
We didn't.
And you loved Glen.
Just because.
It all makes sense.
Just because.
And I just had Wanda.
And men.
And it was good.
And it was good with men with men and Glen, all at once.
Poor misguided bitch.
Poor she.
All right.
And Cathy loved Antony.
In the neighborhood.
And that was all right.

Spelling 123didn't lovehhom

Helium

cochineal? ; from ants.

playdough, at home, hated kindy. staywd at home.

first time you kissed you a boy.

14 at a party, did n't his mim, but he gave me a rose,

when di you hold a boys hand?


dont' know

i felt a boys hand on my bottom

who ix your favpuirote scultptor

michelangeloo

don't you feel like daoinvddid changed yued your life? yes bbig




Britney or X tine

Btitney
Not sure about dorak hair/

.

Shopgirl

Here are my shirts at Juniper. They're also being stocked at
a store called Beckon in Willis St Village (well, on the street part).



I seem to have turned all crafty. It is quite odd.

Pretty in Pink

I bought Pretty in Pink at the Red Shed the other day. In my head I thought I was getting 16 Candles. My flatmates and I loved the dude who was the love interest (Jake Schnauzer or something, he was in Mermaids too).

Pretty in Pink did feature my teen fave, Andrew McCarthy (obviously a fave well behind River Phoenix). My god. The people you like when you're 14. The horror. Squeaky voice, chicken neck.
This time around I though Harry Dean Stanton was the hottest. Not HOT, but the hottest. You wait til you see him in Big Love, his head is imploding.


I'm so old.

Quitter

Something had to give. I've had to pull out of the class, it was too much on top of everything else. I'm a bit sad really, for one thing I wanted to finish my qualification. Also, I really like the lecturer and the subject matter is fascinating. And I don't like being a quitter. But I'm just going to do it next year instead. Finn will be at school, Malo at kindy, and life should be a little more manageable. Imagine, I could even go into the library!

So. Project du jour is a website I need to build before next Thursday. If anyone knows of a free template or something (obviously very tasteful, like me, stop LAUGHING), please I urge you to let me know, because right now I have no idea.

But I do have a domain name. Just nothing on it yet.

So keep in your memories www.babylicious.co.nz

'kinoath

lots and lots and lots of swear words. Yelled. All at once.

My first class was somewhat daunting. Ontological! Epistemological! Positivism! Bloody philosophy.

What the hell have I been doing all these years to let these concepts completely slip me by. Oh yeah, drinking and crack, and thinking about Britney.

I'd never considered Britney in a constuctivist paradigm. Life suddenly seems empty.

Student

I start being a student again today. This will probably lead to a lot of blogging. My skills of procrastination are very good for areas of my life other than study, so I anticipate a clean house, a lot of blogging, and a fair quantity of stress.

I'm kind of fancying doing a thesis too. This morning at the gym I came up with the fabulous idea of a thesis about the public perception of Britney, but my instinct is that they won't give me a Masters in Management on Britney.

Imagine it though, Britney the Virgin through to Britney and Kev. If nothing else, it would be a good conversation starter at parties. I fear it would also stop them too.

Whewee

Faster than lighting, I'm being stocked at Juniper.

All a bit weird. What am I now? A clothing manufacturer? Student? Parent? Crackwhore?

Eerie

No sooner had a written the title of this post did I hear a door creak open down the hallway. Dammit. I had two children in their beds, supposedly sleeping, but obviously one was just lying quietly for long enough for me to get comfy in a reclining position with the crack pipe ready to roll.

So now he is watching Madagascar, and I'm back, with my own special kind of crack. That is, you my dear readers.

Unfortunately for you, today I'm a total waste of time. All those good ideas for writing things I usually have in the night were replaced with sleep, and sweet sexy dreams of Damian Christie.

They don't really make for good reading (except for Damian, and since I didn't really have them he'd have to put up with stories of real dreams of twisted corridors and bitten nails...).

The factory

Mayhem, chaos and more mayhem

Mayhem in a good way though.

Life in this crazy house is just NON STOP FULL ON.

One very positive upside of Craftwerk was the offer to stock my clothes in a lovely shop. This is great, and a dream come true. However, I almost sold out at Craftwerk, so my stocks are somewhat diminished, leading to a frenzy of further creativity.

I'm very excited. I've been madly emailing suppliers and dreaming about websites and empire building in my head. Which is why it is almost midnight, and I'm still awake.

Oh stop the madness crazy brain woman.

Crazy brain woman. Now there is a good name for a baby shop website.

Oh the creativity, and the humanity.

Stitches out

For a change I'm not talking about Craftwerk or Stitch and Bitch.

My poor son had a nasty accident on Tuesday, and has 4 stitches on his forehead.

I have always been terribly phobic about stitches. A few years ago I cut my finger quite badly (incidentally this is the reason we don't eat rotisserie chicken anymore, but I digress...). I was dealing with it. I wrapped my finger in a teatowel and wondered what to do. My husband suggested I might need stitches, at which point I passed out, bashed my head on the floor and had a seizure. I woke up to a curious pizza man at the door, and some ambulance fellows with a stretcher. I was fine actually, and it has made a hell of a good story. I managed to dissuade the doctor at the hospital from stitching the finger, and all is well.

Then I had some babies. I won't elaborate too much, but suffice to say that doctors are fond of a procedure which involves cutting and stitching (and I'm not talking about Caesareans). I managed to deliver both babies and avoided this unpleasant technique.

So when Finn cut his head, and it was very obvious stitches would be necessary, I was a little nervous. And you know what? It was fine. Turns out they give you a local, use and itty-bitty needle, and skinny black thread. Honestly, I had thought it involved a darning needle and dental floss.

And today the stitches come out. I'm having a little therapy to cope with the idea (that sounds like a euphemism for booze if ever I heard one). A little self therapy in my head, along the lines of "it'll be hunky dory, you're strong, Finn is strong, you can have fish and chips for tea after". It seems to be working.

Craftwerk

Craftwerk 004, originally uploaded by Scrappers.

And here is a much better photo from Rachelle.

Craftwerk

Here is the lovely Rachelle with our lovely stall - about 3 minutes before the hoards completely annihilated it.

Beers under yer belt and all

Ah, deep sigh.

Craft est fini.

I can't spell french because of the beers.

Once you get the idea that beer is pricey, finding a boutique one for $5 seems like an irresistable bargain.

And you'd better accept that I've had a few before you read further, or you'll be disappointed in me, and I couldn't handle the pain.

Craftwerk was somewhat AMAZING. It was a complete frenzy, or as was overheard "a zoo". A zoo of awesome people buying my colleagues and my (mine?) great gears. My cruisey night hanging out at the bar with Hadyn and Tom was wrecked by all this selling of stuff. I didn't even get a chance to yarn away much with our lovely neighbours.

I did drink some freaking "summer" beer, full of special herbs and spices. If there is one thing I can't tolerate it is a beer full of herbs and spices. But something I can tolerate even less is wasting a beer. So I drank the damn thing, and now all I can taste is the freaking herbs and freaking spices (parents back from overseas soon, so swearing must cease).

That sounded evil and witchy.

It was an excellent night, better than anything really. Lots of lovely and interesting people buying and selling and looking-at great stuff.

My mix tape was unspeakably freaky (the one I received), so I'm guessing some Pantera fan somewhere is listening to Toy Love and cursing the evil Wanda.

Hehehehehehhehehehee

Only 4 hours 'til Craftwerk

Funny how something like Craftwerk can be so exciting. I was reasonably blase about it, but today has been a frenzy of label making and ironing. Well, about an hour has been spent doing these things, which pretty much is my every spare minute with those short people and their constant demands (food? Why? Toilet? Clean and healthy environment??).

Of course, today isn't all about Craftwerk. I did try to go to the gym this morning. Really. I was in my ugly gym clothes and walking to the car (a massive 15 metres from our front door), and it became very apparent that my legs weren't working. This is due to actually following my gym programme on Tuesday, and consequently murdering my thighs.

So, question for the readers out there (and a vaguely sporty one, to include all those people I alienate with excessive talk of alcohol). Should I exercise when my muscles are suggesting it is a bad thing? Because my brain quite often tries to tell me the gym is a bad idea, and I'm becoming better at ignoring it.

Sneak peek

Satan's post

This is the 666th post Chez Wanda.

Isn't that exciting.

So, it has been kinda full on here. Last night we had an excellent Stitch and Bitch session, and everyone should come, as it rocks.

And today I took the small people to Curious George (which was the definition of "cute"). It had a strange storyline, but the animation was lovely.

Then Chow Petone for lunch. Their $10 plates are soooo goooood. And $10 is dirt cheap. Perhaps I'll eat there everyday. Mmm.

Bit of culture this afternoon at the City Gallery. Very nice Guy Ngan exhibition. Christ I wish I'd bought one of his pieces when I saw it at Dunbar Sloane last year. There is no hope of being able to afford it now.

The Prior collection of paintings is ace. Dr Prior saved my husband's life when he was a mere boy, so we probably would've liked his collection if it consisted of framed colouring book pictures. Which it didn't. It had all the big players of New Zealand Art, and I heartily recommend it.

And the "oh my goodness some people are scarily clever" award goes to Elizabeth Thomson. You should go and see her stuff whether you're into art or not. It is all good in the artfulness stakes, but also in the workmanship stakes. Absolutely stunning.

And now I'm sitting here inhaling fabric dye fumes as I get ready for the marvellous Craftwerk tomorrow. Be there or be square, okay?

Nuffin to see here guvnor

The handless corpse case is all very scandalous and dramatic. And guess what - the coppers called me about it! I didn't have anything to tell them unfortunately. The rest of my family were around Owhiro Bay on the night in question (see how au fait I am with the parlance of the plods), but I don't think they're going to have any information either.

Big weekend

Mah boy is 4 (could you please say that "for-wah").

We had a mammoth party. Thankfully it was a tremendously sunny day, and kids were able to frolic outside, inside, in the kayak, in the bathroom, in the bedrooms - everywhere there was space in fact.

I managed to pull off a semi-healthy feed, which I'm quite proud of. Bacon and egg pies, oat and cranberry bickies, cheese and pineapple toothpicks (classy ones that Tom would be proud of), parmesan biscuits, fruit and wine. Kids go mad for the wine.

Finn got millions of presents - score! It was good because his birthday is actually today, so we didn't have to buy masses of stuff ourselves.

And I got to leave all the mess in the afternoon for an extremely classy baby shower. Now THAT was a spread. They even had club sammies on those multi-tiered cake thingies. And lots of chocolate, and vol au vents - genius!

Delightful and delovely

To prove what an awesome figure of hotness I am, here is the picture of the hair and the toilet paper.

The people asked, and I delivered. Perhaps I'll become a politician.

I'm in Labour

I went to the Labour Party party tonight, to celebrate 90 years in da bidness.

It was good fun. I saw every Labour Minister that exists, except Cullen who had a tummy bug. Helen spoke, and she was bloody amazing actually. Her security were keeping a close eye on my (blueish) bag. Shouldn't security be more discreet? Or discrete? I can never remember which - one is a door?

You'd think I was drunk... For once I wasn't.

There was wine, and a little food, and lots of interesting people. And I drank some wine, but I didn't check out what it was. Sorry Alan.

No scandal to report. There were a few crazies and a lot of earnest people, you get that though.

Vampire alert

I'm having one of those days. Everything is kind of difficult, kids are messy, I'm tired.

And when I was in the shower I got a terrible bleeding nose. I've always been susceptible to them, and quite often get them when I'm washing my face. Obviously my cleanliness is next to godliness belief makes me a little too vigorous.

So I had a gusher of a nose, 2 children who were very interested, wet, spraying blood like a tap. Whaddaya do?

Take a photo of course.

And I was dressed.

I'm just not sure the world is ready for a photo of me uncombed, toilet paper sticking out of my nose, wild look in my eye.

So it is poll time.

Would you like to see the gross picture with the blood?
	Don't be gross, you're very very immature
	Spare me
	I'd maybe glance at it
	Oh, go on then
	Mmm blood
	Mmm blood and toilet paper sticking out of someones nose
	I'm a pervert. I love that shit
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Farty inappropriate behaviour

Farbeit (if albeit can be a word, so can farbeit) from me to spread the good word, this preacher just did it for me.

Petticoat tip to Russell Brown.

Blog fix

I'm trying to fix my blog with something only slightly more challenging than osmosis. We'll see if this works.

And so this post isn't just about blog fixing. We're watching Madagascar, and it is FUNNY. Better than Over the Hedge I think.

Giant Pansies.

Craftwerk

Only a week until Craftwerk hits the town.

Where: Paramount Theatre
When: Thursday 13th July, 5.30-8.30
What: Where to start? There will be a fabulous range of craft items created by oodles of clever people. From badges to crochet, from jewellery to a rather special range of children's screenprinted shirts (bit of self promotion never hurt anyone eh?).

There will be music and Atari games, a fantastic mix tape swap, and all in a licensed venue.

Truly, does life get any sweeter?

I can't remember when it wasn't raining

Stuck in the Hutt!

The motorway into Wellington was basically slowed to a standstill yesterday with a major slip. Normally it takes about 12 minutes to get into town, yesterday people were stuck in their cars for 2 hours.

This meant that I couldn't make my hot date to a fabulous art gallery opening. Dammit. Another chance to be in the society pages missed.

We have visitors from out of town, and it is all a bit embarrassing when you can't show them the good shit like Te Papa.

So today we're all tucked up inside waiting for some shows from our friends in America.

Stinky school holiday rainy weather.

Hungover, or something else

Not much to say. Tired. Hungover.

When will the madness end?

However I did do something vaguely sporty today, to counter the excesses of last night. I saw Irene van Dyck! She is one tall mama.

The time/space continuum strikes again

The time/space continuum has taken the yeast. No delicious pizza tonight.

It took the liquorice in the weekend. Fortunately while I was trying to find the yeast the liquorice was returned in almost exactly the same place I left it. I know that the universe is playing games with me.

What the hell does it want the yeast for?

And isn't 'yeast' a truly dodgy word?

Sex addict

I know it would be very trendy to claim to have a sex addiction, I'm not going to.

Actually, tonight on 60 Minutes there was an interview with a sex addict. He was from Wellington. After a while I decided to raise my eyes from my latest project (screenprinting) to see if I knew this poor sex addled Wellingtonian, and of course I did! The beauty of a small town.

He was a customer of mine when I had a takeaway business. He was a fireman, so pretty memorable (uniforms and all that...).

From the 60 Minutes website.

SEX ADDICT

As far as having an addiction goes, surely a sex one wouldn’t be a bad one to have. Right? According to New Zealander Pete Lyons, and approximately eight percent of American males, there’s nothing pleasant about it.

As Pete tells, it’s not all about sex. The addiction isn’t to the actual act; it’s to the rush of adrenalin that comes from the sudden release of endorphins. And, just like an addiction to alcohol or drugs, you would beg, steal and borrow to get your next fix, and would step over your own family to get it.

I'm sure he dotted an "i" on the back of a cheque with a love-heart one night. I thought little of it at the time... (although god knows where the "i" has gone in his name).

There you go aye.

A number of points of no consequence

• Seresin Merlot 1998 is a very fine wine indeed. Sampled before and after the fireworks on Saturday with dear friends Karen and Ash, it was truly a triumph.
• Delivering 12500 phonebooks is not a fun kindy fundraiser.
• Spotlight employs the worst people anywhere.
• Thinking that tiling the end of the bath after 3 years is the most satisfying part of renovating doesn't take into account the joy of having a light in the hallway after 3 years. Light! Who would've thought?
• A certain 33 year old mother of 2 cannot socialise 4 nights in one week. On Monday she will crash and be grouchy.

Testosterone

My almost 4 year old has had a big burst of testosterone. He yells out "poo poo" all the time, and curiously his favourite

"rock and roll, dirty old hole".

I know not whence it came, nor what it means. It is very satisfying to say though.

Go on, try.