Friday, February 24, 2006

Fucking Thomas

Like every other child his age, Finn is obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine. The wooden railway set is actually super cute, and I'm very fond of it.

Thomas 004

The videos and stories are absolutely terrible. Moralistic shit. I think the Rev. Awdry was a severely weird person, and his son Christopher has continued to write the very bizarre tales.

Still, I was pretty amazed to find the following song on a dvd we've got out of the library. I've highlighted the best lyrics so you don't have to read the whole thing. It is accompanied by pictures of the engines crashing, burning, getting covered in tar, squashed by boulders... you get the idea.

Perhaps they were joking?

Accidents Happen

(composed by Mike O'Donnell & Junior Cambell)

Britt Allcrot Inc.

Thrills and spills on the railway, it's a life of happiness

But sometimes impatience can lead to carelessness

Some think they are smart cats, and some just know it all

But sooner or later we all find out that

Chorus:

Accidents happen now and again, just when you least expect

Just when you think that life is okay, fate comes to collect

Accidents happen now and again, when people or trains get smart

If you don't concentrate on the thing that you're doing

Accidents will happen, just like that

Your best-laid plans can turn upside down if you get too confident

Sometimes you will slip and slide if that's Lady Luck's intent

One minute you're riding high, the next you're on the ground

But please remember, whatever the weather

You must take care 'cause

Accidents happen now and again, sometimes just by chance

You gotta pick yourself up and dust yourself down

Put it down to experience

Accidents happen now and again

Just don't take it all to heart

If you don't concentrate on the thing that you're doing

Accidents will happen, just like that

The warning signs are there for us to see most of the time

But sometimes we take chances and ignore the danger signs

Fate can surprise you, with no reason or rhyme

Make sure you learn your lesson you'll know better next time

(Chorus)

3 comments:

Anna said...

I've heard that song on the dvd too, and actually quite like the quirky lyrics and catchy tune but certainly I haven't given them any more thought. They are a bit deep for the youngsters tho...now that you mention it.

Jo Hubris said...

When I used to go out with a Thomass, I had a friend who used to like lavishing Thomas-the-Tank Engine products on me at every opportunity, like a key-ring so that I could "take him everywhere with [me]" and sunscreen so that I could "smear all over [my] body and he'd be good for [my] skin too!". Therefore the title of this post makes me want to laugh and puke in equal parts. Um, not that I'm a bitter old woman or anything.

Hank said...

My three year old is struggling to memorize/make sense of the lyrics as she sings along with the DVD (which she loves and is her favorite). It is not easy. Thanks for the transcription. It might help in years to come. (By the way, I agree about the stories--you don't often find such naked vanities, even in the real world.