Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Myth busters #1

I've been meaning to start a series dispelling popular myths.

Starting with

#1 It is just as painful for men watching their partners in pain during childbirth, as it is for the woman in labour.

Bullwhacky.

I've been in labour, and I've watched my sister give birth. The two don't compare. It was one trillion times easier watching someone else in pain than being in it.

And I know she isn't my wife, but I love my sister just as much as if she was, albeit in a completely different way.

Our entire ante-natal class experience seemed to be focussed on how tiring and onerous the chore of birthing is for the poor father, and it is critical that everyone (especially the mother to be) remembers to make sure the poor dad has some snacks.

Whatever.

7 comments:

David Farrar said...

I've always taken as close to the truth the axiom that if men gave birth everyone would be an only child.

I've never been at a birth but even the graphic descriptions of births from my friends has been enough to make me very very glad I am a guy. I agree there is no comparison.

Mind you talking of bad comparisons, there is also no comparison between a guy being kicked in the balls and a girl having her breasts slapped. Girls who claim they are comparable have (obviously) never suffered the former.

Martha said...

I completely agree. I have seen men kic ked in the balls, and it does seem like a very special and unique kind of pain.

stephen said...

Bizarre ante-natal classes you went to. In Bizarro world, giving birth is all about the bloke watching it!

When my ex and I went to Parents Centre classes in 1995, I learned:
- labouring women are 500, possibly even 800 pound gorillas. Do not say no to labouring women.
- labouring women can and will swear at you like a US Marines drill sargeant.
- your jobs as attending male are to a) keep out of the way b) run any and all errands assigned to you c) keep the hot towels, the drinks, the food, and anything else requested coming.

Clearly your antenatal classes were highjacked by agents from Bizarro Earth.

Martha said...

Stephen, ours were Parent's Centre too. I think it depends a great deal on who your teacher is. Ours seemed pretty keen on keeping the blokes interested.

Mike said...

Baby coming out is no compparrison to anything else.
Father-to-be at birth is no comparrison to anything else.

Anna said...

Hmmm. My husband moved house for us while I laboured the day away for my first baby, and made it to the hospital 10 mins late for the second one... I guess it's too late to train him to attend to my every whim when giving birth - I don't really want another kid. Thank God I roped my sis into being there both times - and amazingly she still wants kids one day! We women are such a special bunch.

llew said...

I was moving a ton of compost the other day (as you do) and to get the stuff into the wooden bay (of the large utilit bin type thing I constructed) in the most efficient manner possible, I laid a plank leading up to the top of the pile, and then pushing the wheelbarrow ahead of me, I sprinted up the plank & dumped the compost neatly over the crest of the hill.

Quickly discovered that it is a grand idea to never, ever step off the plank with a foot on each side while the fully laden wheelbarrow is at the top of the plank, forming a classic lever (seesaw) effect.

brought tears to my eyes.