Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Usurper!

Bloody Martha Stewart. Every time I see her on TV I have to yell "usurper" at her.

I want to be the domestic goddess. And some hard voiced, jailbait from America with my name, has beaten me to the chase. Do you think I can ever have my own tv show now? Not likely. Unless I change my name to Maprah.

Or I could hereafter be known by my stage name of Wanda Harland. Which is cool, because Wanda is a really hot name. Aye.

So my domestic goddess Wanda tip du jour, is to check out this embroidery. Cute! And as soon as I stop being an obsessed adult student (I've emailed the lecturer every week, and I ask dorky questions, and I've made an appointment with the librarian, and I'm shameless, and I think all the youngies are lovely), I'll be embroidering my house. Everyone will think the children belong to bowling teams because they'll be wearing little shirts with their names. Or people will just think they work at Pak n Save.

11 comments:

Oy Vey said...

i'm so wanting the sushi kit. it reminds me of some of the stuff on crafster.org.

i want! i want! mine!

Martha said...

Aren't they lovely? And the patterns are only $3 - and $1.25 for postage here! I couldn't believe it. Although I quickly racked up a pretty full shopping cart.

A good friend of mine makes porno cross stitch kits, and that is the last project I emabarked on, but frankly I worry my mother-in-law wouldn't like it...

Oy Vey said...

i've got plenty of time in my abode. i'm definitely going to order some.

i bet it's fun to do while drinking wine.

Sarah said...

It turns out that when you become a mental patient you're also expected to become craft girl. Which is why the woman in Evans's said to me the other day, "You really should have one of our customer cards."

Anyway, in my role as craft girl I can highly recommend the book, "Embroidered Treasures for Children" by Clare Garland (available from the library once I've maxed out my renewals).

Vicus Scurra said...

Can we talk about sports now?
I looked at some of the stuff on that gallery, and my reaction was to give thanks to God that I do not know any of these women.

SoSu said...

there is a new shop in newtown that sells the SS and even has SS nights

Martha said...

Sarah, oooh, goody. Let me know when you return it. You're still in Hutt City then? Bloody Evans's never offered me one, I suspect they just wanted me and my touchy children to clear off. I love them though, they made our curtains.

SoSu, I must check that out one day. Although I am addicted to internet shopping. Supporting local industry is far more worthy though.

Vicus, so, how about that soccer eh?

I do love saying soccer to someone from the UK. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Sarah said...

Yes indeed, still Hutt. I am now a resident of the delightful (and often flooded) suburb of Fairfield.

Martha said...

I love Fairfield up there on the hill, although this wouldn't be the bit that floods I'm guessing. Is that bakery good?

Vicus Scurra said...

I would describe how your saying soccer makes me feel, but I try to maintain some standards of decency.

Sarah said...

I live on christmas lights street, the slightly uphill part, but there's still a lake outside my bedroom window after all the rain we've had.

And yes, bakery good (the one with the French name, whatever it is, the other one is standard mass-produced builder's sandwiches type stuff). Well the cream doughnuts are good anyway. I'm not so keen on their neenish tarts.