News at 7

I keep hoping I'll be able to update with something sort of interesting, like having had a baby or summat, but nope. Still large and in charge.

9 days overdue at this stage, which is what is known as the not-very-delightful part of pregnancy. I'm being induced on Saturday if nothing happens before then, and given my track record I don't think anything will happen before then.

Apart from feeling a bit sorry for myself, and quite hot, I'm actually having a very good time. It is lovely to spend time with the kiddlies, and I've got a whole new appreciation for Lego, that shit ROCKS. Santa brought quite a bit, then we joined the masses and the kids used their prezzy cards to get some more. Our house is Lego central, and I'm thinking about doing a covert Mars Mission re-build tonight. The only problem with Lego is all those little pieces hurt when they get stuck in your feet.

I hope you're all having great holidays. It is times like these that I bloody love the Southern Hemisphere for giving us a long holiday period in the middle of a gorgeous summer.

Christmas letter

Dearest,

• Had a shop.
• Bought Dishy.
• Got pregnant (baby appears to be waiting for next year to be born).
• Boys too clever and gorgeous to be believed.
• Planted a vege garden.
• Ate all the radishes before anyone else could.
• Sold the Mini, bought a station wagon, sign of the times.
• Loved 2008, although it was the most full on, hectic year ever, it was full of accomplishment and new challenges. It turns out these are what make life interesting.
• Spent a large proportion of the year planning what I'll drink in 2009.
• Spent a lot of time awake, obviously my body getting ready for no sleep for the next two years. I tried to suggest to the body that this was flawed logic, body arranged for baby to kick my pancreas.
• Gave up trying to write cohesively, with good grammar or logical tenses. Liberating.
  

In important baby room news...

Curtains, again, I love them so.
Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

Here is a crappy picture of the exquisite curtains in the baby's room. The kid may not have a proper bed or sorted clothing, but boy do they have nice drapes...

Yeah, still here, still queer (or not)

2 days overdue.

Quite good really, bit tired, getting excited, still finding myself working to get out orders (talk about last minute ordering!). The recession has been kind to us in our wee shop, and turnover is double what we did last year, so we're pretty chuffed. Remarkably there is still stock left too, which is good, because ordering for Christmas wasn't exactly an exact science.

I haven't been doing any shop time, although each time I pop in it seems to coincide with a supplier visiting. There is something vaguely indecent about being 9 months pregnant and in public, it all feels a bit flaming primitive.

I'm looking forward to Christmas, having a nice meal, having nice company and possibly having a nice baby. At the very least having a bit of a break from working!

Due date

Ho hum.

Nesting

Nesting (not)
Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

When a baby is due to arrive the mother goes into a nesting frenzy, cleaning and readying the house for the delicate new life.

This is our child's bed. From the nesting evidence, I'd say I'm going to be at least 2 weeks late.

Update with nothing to update

Nothing to report.

Baby is still inside moi. Shop is still busy. I am breaking a rule of having babies and admitting that I'm in absolute terror of the upcoming event. Terror. The only thing comforting me is the 7 bottles of wine lined up that I ordered in the grocery shop. I know I won't want them, but I'm tricking myself that I will.

Oh yeah, something to report, I had a really very marvellous birthday. I'm now 26 (ish), and I have a tremendous snow freeze machine and charm bracelet and chocolate and other goodies.

Now I'm going to sit around, and be hot, and keep my legs crossed.

Le blog, c'est ici

Mais aussi, le bebe, c'est still dans ma stomach ou, more correctly, dans ma uterus, dans moi skin.

We have a week to go. Apparently the baby is doing everything right, which means its arse is on my left side and its furiously pummelling legs and arms are going for it on my right. I don't know what vital organs it is having a go at, but I hold grave fears for useful things like my spleen, appendix and phlange.

Apart from being heavily pregnant, things are pretty peachy. The shop is a great deal of fun, because it is full of pretty things and pretty people, who are all surprisingly lovely. I suppose they're the clever clogses who do their Christmas shopping nice and early, and in a week we'll get the stress bunnies, like me, who leave it all til the last minute.

I officially go on maternity leave on Sunday (I pulled the date out of nowhere). I'm allowed an overseeing role, I believe. This means I get to be quite bossy, but not do any real work, I'm looking forward to it. It is a strange thing to be self-employed and be letting myself go on maternity leave. I'm not arguing with myself though, if that is what the boss orders, who am I to question her?

Little else to report. Work dominates, my legs are still GROSS, and I'm still sober.

Proof

Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

Even a mountain of Foxton Fizz and carrots can't make you this lardy.

General update of moi life

I am still here, in one piece.
Although my feet are really sausage-like.
Which is pretty unattractive.
Not to mention uncomfortable.
I got a car that will fit my whole crew.
In fact, I'd rather like to live in it.
The baby is due in 2 1/2 weeks, and already weighs 7lbs ish.
The baby remains nameless.
At some point I'll have time to start thinking of names.
I'm going to buy a name book.

Under four weeks to go!

I'm lying on the couch with my feet up, not because I am the total lady of leisure, but because I was doing some shirt printing shizz, and crouched down, and lo! if my legs haven't filled up with fluid and turned into charming sausages. So here I am, on the couch, legs up on a beanbag, hoping they settle down a bit so I can get another half hour of printing in tonight.

Work is flat out. I am very amused by this concept of "maternity leave", ha ha ha, she laughs hysterically. Historically my babies come late, so I'm not worried about going into labour suddenly, but things like this leg swelling is kind of rubbish.

Glen has been despatched to the workshop to finish the heat setting. Poor bastard. It is his birthday and all.

Pimpin' mah ride

Yeah, so our house is in Your Home and Garden at the moment. It is quite weird. I suppose I should be shouting it from the roof-tops, but I'm still in slight shock.

The foxy town

What a weekend. Yesterday there was gardening in our front yard, we've built a trendy vege box on the lawn, and now it is chock full of radishes and carrots and chillies and basil and tomatoes. Not exactly vegetables to feed the millions, but sufficiently interesting that we may actually stick to this project (plus I have a carrot obsession, much like the one experienced in previous pregnancies).

Today we hooned up the coast to scope out a car in Foxton. Prettiest car ever, possibly could be biggest money guzzler ever, checking it out.

Foxton was a remarkably excellent destination. At the windmill there is a cafe proclaiming to sell the World's Best Lemon Meringue Pie. There is no resisting that, and holy shizz, it was awesome. Beautiful pastry, piquant lemon, fluffy meringue, mmm. And because it was hot I ordered an iced coffee, which came out complete with icecream and whipped cream and chocolate sauce. GET THEE TO FOXTON NOW.

Various stops for strawberries, train rides, carrots, the beach and fizzy meant it was the best day I've had in yonks.

Guess who?

Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

Glen is off to a "B" party. Lucky bastard, he can get nice and drunk and avoid the stupid election, which I am suffering and vaguely hoping that my optimism will sway the results...

So, can you guess who he is going as?

Coherant thoughts are gone

I have this vague recollection of using bullet points when I was trying to keep it brief, or make some points. Now, well, I can barely string two sentences together. This will not stop me from writing today something that probably should be bullet pointed, given a complete lack of continuity and interestingness, but out of principle I try and not do too many bullet posts in a row.

Election tomorrow. I'm sad I can't go and vote drunk, like last time, where I berated the overseer, um, supervisor, oh brain! You know, SCRUTINEER, I think. He was wearing a National rosette, and I didn't like him being there, and I'd had a few vins so let him know. I'm so cool. Mind you, Petone is pretty red, so he shouldn't be surprised.

We're still trying to find a car we like that will fit our massive army of family members. I'm finding it hard to go past European cars, looking at our history in cars (we've had many), I tend to love the European ones best. My favourite was our little Alfa, oh how I adored it. I think we spent about a million dollars on getting rust removed and fun things like that, and yet, I still loved it.

Should anyone be looking for the perfect Christmas gift we have STORMTROOPER CUFFLINKS. They're awesome.

I've completely lost my bloggy mojo. I think the baby is sapping me of iron, sveltness and brains. Bless.

List of stuff:

• 7 weeks to go until this kid is born. It is up the wrong way, I don't mind, keeps life interesting.
• The shop has the most fabulous new shelves, although not many are up yet. It feels like a "real" shop now.
• Today was very, very lovely. Neither boy went to school or kindy, and we picnicked at Days Bay and had a very wonderful time. There is a duck pond at the Days Bay park thing (my brain! Domain? Reserve?), and it has eels in it. I could watch eels for hours.
• And a warm evening meant the second night in a row we were able to dine outside tonight.
• A year in, and we can add up some numbers, and business is working out. YUSS.
• We've gone very middle class, and put a raised vege garden in our front yard. It is just a box at the moment (I really want to waterproof it, and have it as a rustic swimming pool), but once we add soil and seeds, the bounty will be magnificent, and it has only cost about eighty six squizzilion dollars.
• Some bastards are making mojitos on telly, and I would almost (almost!) kill for a mojito, hell, at this stage I'd almost kill for a glass of Chasseur Dry cask vin.
• But I wouldn't kill for that.
• Or anything.
• I may or may not be avoiding writing a newsletter.

I like big bellies and I can't deny

We finally got a mirror for our room, it is massive. I was very surprised to find out how fetching I'm finding my enormous belly at the moment. Having not really had a mirror for a year or so, I was expecting the worst, but really, it is quite magnificent. Very large, very wriggly, very uncomfortable, and very miraculous. You'd think that by the third child you'd be over all this wonderment, but I think the first two pregnancies were more full of nervousness and exhaustedness. I just can't believe this one is happening.

We've got no ideas for names and all, so any contributions are very welcome. Poor nameless baby.

Beautiful weekend, just lovely. I'm a bit blissed out today, in case you didn't notice. The weekend was great, I barely worked, got some lovely first birthday balloons and fairy bread from Anne, ate liquorice, went on a picnic, started a vege garden, bought some baby shizz (including the CUTEST NAPPIES EVER), got some new gruts, told Finn what "gruts" means, you know, had fun and laughed at the kids bum jokes, even though I should've been disapproving. Hung loose basically.

Birthday!

Well, here I am going on about our birthday in the shop, and I check the archives, and behold, it was our birthday 4 days ago. Teach me to listen to my husband.

So, in the fashion of someone who might possibly blog live (read: not have thought through the post before starting) I will now take photos of the shop, and then I shall post them. It will be tremendously swell, and if you are easily excited, perhaps go to the loo now.

Okay, so live that I can't upload them cos of being busy.

Laters.

The Live Blogging Plan

There won't be live blogging, because it may make me inclined to voice my less than charitable thoughts about certain people who like to comment on how everything in my shop is expensive, which may lead me to send them to a big red shed, and not point out the multitude of items that are less than $10 in here.

No, I'll rise above being baited by people, and share my important thoughts on the beauty of the universe, and the fact that there is no recession/depression in New Zealand.

Or not.

Yo, I'm still here.

My sister has been asking for a picture of the tummy, so I went one better and posed for a sensational shot, I think it shows the rampant effect hormones are having, and perfectly captures the gorgeous effect of pregnancy on a woman's body.

Highlights of a crazy day of crazy in the land of crazy

• Getting up for my 7am flight feeling remarkably refreshed, despite only having 2 hours sleep.
• Having breakfast in a cafe for the first time in years. Mmm, bacon and eggs and good company and a latte. And Jo Seagar was there (Auckland always produces a minor celeb to look at).
• Powering through gift fair, buying truckloads of good stuff, avoiding mountains of dross. I managed to resist every Jack Daniel's mirror, soft toy, fake flower, scented candle in the joint.
• Remaining calm whilst finding out that my plane was delayed, even though my level of exhaustion meant that I would probably have wept if asked to change gates or walk through the security thing again, oh, hang on, I managed to do that without crying. I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR.
• Buying my lovely boys some presents and a six pack of Dunkin' Donuts, for I am all class.
• Having my lovely boys meet me at the airport, and even though I got them quality edukashional toys, they liked the Kinder Surprises best, for they are little kiddies, and they have me for a mother.
• Being home.

The leisurelyness of leisure

Something is afoot. I've had a bath, applied a mask of Rotorua mud, whilst soaking in some lavender salt thingies, and now I'm sitting around until we watch The Office. Tomorrow the shop is being minded, and the chiddlers are off to the Wairarapa for some holiday fun with my folks. We keep sort of looking at each other and saying "what are we going to do?". Realistically, the fact is that half a day isn't that much time off, but it seems mammoth.

Life has been busy, but the sun has been sunning and we're ignoring the wind being a blowing. There is a little nest of baby birds in our backyard, and the birdy parents are taunting Florence the Dog like taunting is going out of fashion. I love those wee birdies.

On Sunday I head up to Auckland for some business stuff, some stock buying not that exciting business stuff. It feels like miles away, what with my half day off tomorrow. God, I'm going to be so relaxed I'm nervous I'll turn into a pool of jelly.

Name theory

Is the resurgence in old fashioned names due to the fact that everyone, like me, reads the deaths column in the paper for inspiration?

Here I am!

Live blogging from the shop, due to a spell of quiet I believe I can attribute to daylight savings, and the fact people feel like it is the crack of dawn.

I'm recovered from the demon lurgy, such a relief. I was a bit paranoid that I felt like death because of pregnancy, but it turned out to be a good old fashioned flu, which has moved on to another sucker.

Speaking of pregnancy, less than 12 weeks to go. I'm nervous, and the midwife very kindly put in my notes that my last labour was "stressful and overwhelming", or something. I don't know if my body is paying attention to midwife notes though, so we'll see if this one is any better.

The reason for the silence around here is that I've been busy, hah! Surprise! Normally the end of the month gets nice and chilled out with the orders, because retailers generally do their ordering at the beginning of the month for billing purposes. I was all ready to slide into calm mode, and we got flooded with wholesale business. And shop business. I guess this means until Christmas we won't be getting any more breaks. If you want me I'll be the 9 months pregnant one lumbering around filling boxes.

Shop business has been helped by a spread in the Dom Post last weekend about our house. Funny! They were nice pictures. I'd post them here, but I'm never clever enough to keep newspaper clippings. When I'm old I'll just have to make up stories for my grandchildren about how Grandma Martha was this one time in the paper, and then maybe something to thrill them like having a helicopter trip and martinis with Paris Hilton, and then they won't believe anything, and I'll chuckle and have another sip of gin. This is my plan for retirement.

On a more positive note

I am LOVING the Transformers movie.

I have the plague (still)

• The last week has seen me google: Symptoms of pneumonia, carpal tunnel relief and sore chest in pregnancy. I'm possibly dying, but hopeful that some sun will fix me.
• My baby turned 4 today. He is so darned old and gorgeous. We had the day off to hang out, and sing him lovely hippy trippy songs at his kindy.
• I bought a cot today. It is very pretty, and I'm dying to start nesting for proper.
• I had the most insane, stressful, photographer filled day on Monday. I'll tell you about it on Saturday. Given my current health status, perhaps I hallucinated the whole thing.

Ill communication

I'm sick, the kids are sick, we're not going away this weekend.
Le sigh.

Hormones or something

Strange things are afoot with my brain, not to mention my body. This girl inside me is giving me a burning urge to make a quilt. Fer goodness sake, I have no idea where to start, why I want to, or what it means. It must be some fearsome nesting urge, I have this paranoia that we'll find ourselves at Christmas with nowhere for the kid to sleep, and nothing to sleep in. The fact I've done this twice before, and I happen to know that all a baby needs is pretty much provided by the mother and wipes.

Also, terrible baby is giving me carpal tunnel. This means that typing gives me little electric shocks through my wrist. I love you that much.

Good-o

• Babylicious has a snazzy new menu, Glen has been working on it for months, and today it is live and pretty.
• Father's Day was nice. I made pancakes, and worked the shop for the day, and made dinner, so I feel okay about eating all the choccies.
• Now I'm knackered.
• Mike has made a Facebook group for the Party Party, you should join. It could be the beginning of something huge, and we could all get ferried around in those Crown BMWs (which would help solve my car issues, I'm sure those things would fit three carseats).

Politics

Man, I'm so BORED by this election already. Time to start the Party Party, we just wanna party! I'm accepting nominations, and counting on government funding, since Helen is keen that political parties be funded by government, rather than rich friends. Rich friends will be expected to host fabulous parties in their mansions for Party Party members.

We'll have a sensible range of policies, and heavy taxation on the rich, to ensure that our Party Party can allow the peeps to party. It is very apparent, listening to the news, that many New Zealanders need a chance to chill. This will be the primary policy philosophy. If policies can have philosophies.

It has been so many years since I did that Politics degree, that a few of the details of our system are becoming hazy...

Sensing murder

I sense the hoodie with the yellow stripes on the young victim (actor) on Sensing Murder were once white, until they were carefully painted by hand by a couple of foxy ladies at an address somewhere in Petone.

Ratatatat

• It is first of month, this is nice because it is Spring, and also nice because lots of people order stock. Consequently I'm flat out (for a change).
• Baby girl weighs 684g. Doctor said this is a fricking unreliable measurement, but not a bad one.
• I should be writing a shop newsletter, because I want to share the joy of the new Saben bags in an appropriate arena, but I can't be arsed/don't have time (I read somewhere that you should never use the excuse of not having time, because nobody does, but what if it happens to be true? Writing newsletters means photos and time and not sounding completely lame, blog posting is the opposite).
• The shop was the busiest ever in the weekend (well, apart from Christmas). Lovely jubbly.
• I would like some gin, with an olive, and maybe a hint of vermouth.
• But I will have a water.

NWA

I cannot tell you how much I loved this song, but now a family friendly version (SFW and everything).



Thanks to Peter.

Pretty

Tulips
Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

For some reason I haven't used a decent camera since I got my phone, and consequently all my photos for 2 years have been pus. It works well though, for those times I'm plonked on the couch and fancy taking a picture of the beautiful tulips on the mantlepiece. This has only happened once, tonight, but I'm sure it will become a frequent occurrence.

I can FEEL Spring around the corner.

The year that was

Atop a hill at Wai o Tapu
Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

I've been meandering through my pictures on flickr. Jeez Wayne, it has been a huge year. When this picture was taken, I:

had no shop
had no plans to have a shop
had no baby inside me
nor any plans to

and those things alone make me feel pretty great. Great because it is a pleasing reminder that I will have a normal sized body again, and pleasing because I realise how much better this family is now. Glen is like a new man, he is a self-employed hero. He enjoys his 2 days a week in his old job, and revels in the website building and general business of the shop and Dishy and all that jazz.

I'm amazed that it is all kind of working, and feeling pretty good because our accountant has just done the books, and they look like this whole shebang is maintainable.

It is terrifying to think about what happens in 17 weeks, when this baby appears (I have palpitations every time I think about how soon that is), however, it will be interesting to see what the next 12 months produce.

I'm vaguely thinking a pet snake and a ferris wheel in the front yard are plausible.

Et aussi

My wee shop is in September House and Garden, great wee write up, very stoked. Checkit on page 163.

Sweet reprieve

We were in a position this week whereby we had to make our house very, very clean and very, very stylish. It sounds ridiculous, but it was impossibly difficult. For this reason I realise I will never move house, open homes would kill me.

The tidying and shenanigans wasn't helped by the excessive busy-ness of every other part of my life, and the immensely huge bump that has attached itself to my front (and my arse, but lets not go there).

And then a phonecall, our date has been postponed! The cleaning immediately stopped, the empty router boxes are still on the lounge floor, the papers are still on the bench waiting to go to the recycling, the elegant and tasteful towels will be tucked in the hot water cupboard, ready for our next stress-out, cleaning appointment.

And I'm LOUNGING, like a big, bloated lounge lizard. Yup, not so stylish and clean after all.

Zoom zoom zoom

No idea what happened to this week, there was this vague blur, and now I'm sitting on the couch eating Godiva truffles and facing another weekend.

Regarding the Olympics, I should mention that I used to babysit one of the rowers, and I can sense that my commands of "go to bed NOW" are an integral part of his motivation. He was quite naughty.

Further life lessons

• Do not think, because you are old, that boiled macaroni won't be filled with boiling water. It will, and it will scald your lip, and make it look like you have a bad habit with smoking very little bits of joints (like a certain teacher at a certain school, who shall remain nameless, but anyone that knows un-said school will know exactly who I mean).

Things we learned today

• 5 minutes in the microwave will set tortillas on fire.
• There is no functioning smoke alarm in our house, which explains why we can't remember where we put it.
• Burnt tortillas add a nice, authentic, smokey flavour to a house that is lacking a real fireplace.
• Icecream makes a decent filler when still hungry from absence of tortillas from plate.

Pink

We were delaying our 20 week scan until my parents got back from France, so that they could come and have a look. However, on Wednesday when I rang to make the appointment, I was told in no uncertain terms that 23 weeks was way too late for the 20 week scan. This lead to a very surprise trip to the scan place (okay, nappy brain well established, the radiographers? Scanners? Ultrasounders?), on Thursday morning, and lo! A girl baby!

I'm very chuffed. I thought I was carrying a girl, and my instincts are true, so at one with nature am I (also experiencing every old wives tale symptom possible). I had readied myself for it being a boy, and so now I'm thinking I need to have another baby as well, so that my "mother of 3 boys" dream comes true. First things first though, I'll concentrate on getting this wee sheila out of me nice and healthy.

Pretty Pretty Pretty

I've mentioned PrettyPrettyPretty before, and now you have no excuse not to check them out, they HAVE PRIZES. I've received one of their goodie boxes in the past, and I tells ya, they're a bloody treat. If ever you catch me smelling yummy, coconut roughy, it will be due to Ms Hubris' famous Sugar Scrub. I urge you to enter the competition, the prizes are fantastic.

Psychic voodoo shit

Last night I dreamed my tights were baggy.

Today, my tights are baggy.

Recovered

• The pain of the car loss has passed, which makes me feel a lot less shallow.
• My nails are pink, which makes all the shallowness come back, they're so cute.
• My tummy is kicky, lovely wee baby. I succumbed to some clothes the other day for it, although since we don't know what we're having I had to get a boy thing and a girl thing. Votes being taken on gender.
• Did anyone spot that sun today? Yeah, freaked me out too.
• I am resolved to not use exclamation marks for a while.

Beat poetry time

Le Mini, c'est gone
Sad

The weekend that wasn't, but was in fact

All that griping about the storm of the decade, and what did we get? Rain. Pah! Rain is like, well, water off a duck's back to we Wellingtonians. Ah well, the decision was made, and we chose not to venture over the mountains to the Wairarapa, to avoid being blown off. As it transpired, the weekend was fabulous.

Saturday the shop was really busy. This puts a shop owner in a goooood mood. After shop close we got a whole lot of glitter, and made pictures with the kids, which had the double benefit of making us feel like good, attentive parents, and also really made us feel arty. It was glitter! The beauty of modern art is anything is legitimate, and my favourite artist happens to specialise in glitter.

Sunday was still pissing down, so we went to the pool. Take that nature! See, we like water. Foiled. And then we went to Te Papa for a bit of lunch and a bit of entertainment.

Today I took a long overdue trip to the nice ladies and Kirks, and got fitted for a BRA. Terrifying. In fact, they were lovely, and I would go back there in a heartbeat, unlike the Bendon shop at Queensgate. It took me 2 years to get over that particular horror.

I feel like I've had a holiday. Such is the relaxation of hanging with mah kiddies for a couple of days, nothing to do with the fact I am more comfortable in my underwear than I've been for years ;-)

Big swear words that I can't use now that I am a professional person

The weather! Man, I've organised a home for the dog, a lovely person to care for my customers, and a day off being a scientist for Glen, so that I could take the kids over to the Wairarapa for a holiday, and GALE FORCE WINDS. I knew it wouldn't be sunny, big fires are charming so that wasn't a worry, and our accommodation over there is pretty fabulous, but crap, I'm not driving over those mountains at the risk of being blown off.

Grouch grumble complain.

Things that piss me off #1

Crappy kitchen appliances I keep buying because they look "good".

Exhibit A



My very attractive, very wussy, Kenwood red mixer.

I bought it because it is a) Kenwood, a good brand for mixers and b) red!

Sadly I neglected to go for a decent, grunty machine, and consequently I never use it. The same could be said for numerous blenders and food processors I have owned.

The bloke I live with, on the other hand, had me scandalised by buying a $700 vacuum cleaner when we first got together (tip to the young mens: spend lots of money on random things, the ladies will thing you're rolling in it). Thirteen years later that vacuum cleaner is still going strong, unlike the four blenders I've turfed.

Sigh.

Free thinking? Spontaneous thoughts?

What is that thing, free association? Word association? Whatever it is, it is here tonight.

I believe I may have once mentioned my belief that at one time Jimmy Barnes was hot, tonight I did a little more research, and uncovered the fact that indeed, it was only one time. I scoped out a video from a year prior, and his ears stuck out! Not that there is a problem with that, but in the Cheap Wine video, they don't. Jimmy Barnes was vain! And by the mid 80s he'd turned into the man I thought he was (before finding out he is hot). In a roundabout, free association (or whatever) way, this makes me want botox.

I had my first moment of really enjoying being pregnant today. It was a bit shortlived, because my underwire broke and my pantihose kept falling down, and it distracted me from too much bliss (thanks to Miss Hubris, who advised me on a simple repair for the underwire situation), but I noted the moment of bliss, and intend to replicate it tomorrow, with decent underwear.

I'm reading a book, first time in yonks, I got 4 pages in and had to check my emails. Computers have ruined me for culture.

Now I will resume reading. Mr de Bernieres better be better than twitter.

Ohmigod, check out the poems in the comments from the previous post, and add your own. In fact, I'm going to do a bad poem meme, either right now (you're tagged), or a bit later when I'm organised, but why not go for it now? Shape poems win extra points.

Best torture ever

There was a brief clip on a preview for 60 Minutes about how one of Saddam Hussein's captors had to endure his poetry. I want a job as a torturer who recites bad poetry! I'd love it.

The sky is blue
you are not
there is a town
yonder

and a corner
with a mouse
and a cat
fancy that

honestly, I could go for frigging weeks. I suspect Saddam Hussein knew exactly what he was doing making this bloke listen to his endless poems.

Wellingtonista post

The magnificent Petone Winter Carnival has been postponed until tomorrow night, which is lucky, since I forgot to mention it is on until today. It really is worth a visit, and great for kids. Unlike the Guy Fawkes display, the fireworks kick off at a very civilised hour, 7.30pm. Prior to that there are heaps of activities along the Esplanade to keep everyone in the family entertained. For those with a perverse desire to feel extremely uncomfortable, there is a polar plunge at 2.30pm, it is for a good cause (Wesley Community Action), so if this floats your boat, get nekkid! Actually, nekkid isn't really part of the programme, but I'm all for initiating fun.

And while you're out here, grab a bite to eat. There are masses of excellent establishments, my favourite at the moment is the magnificent Gusto, and if you go, I recommend the steak. Mmmm steak.

Bullet

• Perhaps I'd be in Sydney for the Pope if it weren't for a couple of small factors (youth? Catholic?), otherwise I'm sure the Pope would be totally up for meeting me.
• Craft, I tried really hard to do a collage with the kids yesterday, although I was going to call mine something like a "storyboard" or "inspiration board", so as not to sound like a 6 year old. Mine was rubbish though, Finn totally showed me up.
• There is a new mini-wall at our shop, we believe it adds a certain je ne sais quoi.
• I've been in my pyjamas since I got pyjama envy getting the kids ready for bed at 6.30. It is all downhill from here.

Two!

Babylicious began about 6 years ago, and about two years ago the first website went live. Mr Onemomentcaller designed it, and we were as freaking proud as punch. I've taken a moment to trawl through my archives to find the start(ish) date, and a couple of things strike me:
I was much, much drunker back then and
I thought I was busy, what with 2 kids and a small business and all. 4 businesses later, and another kid on the way, and all that drunken, not too busy-ness seems vaguely crazy.
I aspire to be crazy.

Happy birthday Babylicious website! You've made me happy and tired and busy and more interesting, and less amusing and less drunk, but I love you.

Now, start making me my fortune.

Fail

Blaaaaaaaaah. There goes my attempt at daily blogging, lost in a sea of work, ill child, houseguest... I'm fully lacking brain power or space to write legibly or interestingly, so I shall dispense with such niceties altogether.

A Pollyanna list will have to do the trick, and drag me out of this blah:

I'm glad we have Moore Wilson's, food is good, especially the olive oil we got today.
I'm glad I have my house to myself again.
I'm glad I had people look after the shop for me this weekend, and they were brilliant.
I'm glad Finn took the cancellation of his party so well, poor sick kid.
I'm glad lots of work means growth.
I'm glad I'm 17 weeks pregnant now, and don't need to feel like I should be able to suck my gut in.
I'm glad it is school holidays and I get to hang with my boys.
OMG I'm glad I remembered there is a packet of party mix lollies in the cupboard.

Wuss

I'm feeling a leetle bit soppy tonight. 6 years ago I was sitting in hospital, in a room surrounded by young, pregnant Polynesian girls who were puking their guts out, waiting for a diabolical drug to start softening my cervix. 24 hours later my wee boy was hauled out of me with a vacuum cleaner, and then wrenched away from me to go and be probed and have a shitty needle stuck in his hand. Fair to say that it was really a horrible experience, that ended up being incredibly fabulous.

Six years seems more significant than 5. At 5 he was really still a baby, now he is big and strong and rolls his eyes at me because I am a dork. He is clever and helpful and sometimes tells me he loves what I'm wearing.

I hope he continues to grow and thrive, and I hope he is always the same.

4 things

School holidays are here.
I am knackered.
I am skiving off to bed now.
Consequence: no worthwhile blogging.

Aren't you pleased you stopped by?

Pretty Pretty Pretty

Pretty Pretty Pretty is a very wonderful new blog about womanly things (although not about periods and childbirth, but I felt writing girly wasn't a particularly good word. Plus my brain is prettyprettypretty much a bowl of pad thai at this minute). It is about feeling and looking great, and I think Jo and Amy are doing a fabulous job with it. I see it going a long way.

And today I'm there! Check me out, it has a picture and everything.

Bloody kids

Having children ruins you in ways you can never anticipate. With each child I become softer and wussier, and not only my body. The weather is rubbish, so I decide to watch the Bee Movie with the kids, and at the end I CRIED. AT BEES. Little stinging bastards, when they made that flower, my eyes welled up.

Bee Movie stars Jerry Seinfeld and Renee Zellweger. They shouldn't be making me cry. I daren't watch The Simpsons in case Homer strangles Bart or something, the angst would kill me.

Mad Men

Watching Mad Men on the telly, and I quite like a lot about the '60s, primarily decor, but tonight's episode also introduces the fact that pregnant ladies wear gorgeous smocks and drink mint juleps and smoke like chimneys. Sounds bloody civilised.

Rumour has it...

...that Wanda Harland was an anagram of something rude. What do you think?

Things that make me go ahhhh

• School holidays, I love them. I hate all the rushing around palaver in the morning, and I much rather have my baby at home with me (although he is 6 next week, so possibly should stop calling him a baby AS IF)
• Bringing back the "AS IF"
• Project Runway, I know it is an old series, but I love it.
• Lovely Susan bringing me in a surprise packet of afghans from Arobake. Yum!
• 2 hours of sunshine this morning.
• Our house is still tidy after a whole week. We could be entering a new era.
• The shop has been renovated for a week, and we have had approximately 7863979 people ask how long we've been here. Hence, the added 2 metres has made it like a completely new shop.
• I said "hence".
• Twitter, I like Twitter, it is somewhere I can be unprofessional.
• 15 weeks pregnant! And huge! I'm excited about this baby.

Dooce-ing it baby

My lovely lamp
Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

This is the lamp I have been searching for forever, and then one day I found it IN MY SHOP. Imagine my surprise.

That is all.

The Plan

My latest plan for wealth has involved a serious commitment to Mylotto, Lotto online. For the first 2 weeks I won about $34, which has enabled me to continue buying tickets, until tonight. Tonight I won a ticket for next week, so hope still lives on.

I vividly recall a few months ago thinking how happy and content I was, and Lotto wouldn't have made much difference, but this baby scenario has me dreaming of a big house and a Homermobile to transport us all about. I'm dreaming of holidays, but I think that is a natural response to the rubbish weather and beginning of the month orders. Perhaps I'll make myself a virgin Pina Colada and recline in front of the gas fire. Or better still, finish my work, have a cuppa and crawl into bed. Hmmmmm, that sounds pretty peachy.

Kick up the arse time

Time for another month o' blogging. I will do a daily post, most will be rubbish, but regular readers will be accustomed to this. The new layout of the shop actually provides for better internet-time-wastage, something to do with feng shui, and the way you hold your elbow.

Chin chin! By the way, don't say "chin chin" in Japan, it is another way of referring to the third leg in Mini-Me's not-tripod. Now try not to say chin chin when you're there, I found it impossible.

Wanda Harland; fully educational since 2005.

Shoppity shop

The shop re-opened on Friday under a poof of plaster dust. Actually, the plaster dust was well contained behind a curtain of dust sheets, and I was amazed how little clean-up was required. The place looks great, and seems much bigger

We still have to re-install a changing room, and the playpen doesn't quite exist yet, but it feels MARVELLOUS. And we've learned lots in our 8 months or so on the job, like hanging stuff at eye-level (no flies on us sir, no siree bob, we have a smidgeon of commonsense after all).

The shop was chocka in the weekend. Perhaps we should close for a few days every week, and you know, build excitement (as well as mooch around cafes...)

Perfect day(s)

Sunshine is SO GREAT, I may have to move to California, or Sydney or somewhere. It was a beautiful day, and I met a friend at the tres awesome Aunt Daisy's Tearoom in Titahi Bay. It were grand.

Have you heard of Marryoke? Jessie has enlightened me, dangerous.



I quite often watch a few YouTube vids with the kiddies before they go to bed, and tonight I thought I'd show them the duelling banjo scene from Deliverance:



Malo really got into dancing, exactly like the hick at the pump, oy.

Oh, and to finish this totally unthemed post, our shop is looking fantastic. Glen has been working like mad, while I've been mooching around like a lady of leisure (I love not working!), and we should be all ready to re-open late morning tomorrow. Still need to do a bit, but I'm thrilled. I'll pop some pictures up tomorrow.

Hail and brimstone!

My call has been answered, and the weather is complete shit, which means - ta da! Renovate the shop time! We'll be shut for two days. I'm bloody excited, because due to my delicate condition (ie the fact that even thinking about plastering makes me want to run away and join the circus), Glen is obligingly going to do all the hard graft. I'll occasionally make appearances, and supportive noises, and then move on.

We caved and got Wii Fit in the weekend, thinking it would be great for the kiddies on these bleak winter days. Fact: it is bloody good fun, swishing down mountains, teetering across tight-ropes, and all under the guise of being good for you. Highly recommended.

The news on Sunday

It is pissing down. We were hoping for pissing down later in the week, so we could shut the shop and do our mega-expansion plans (ie. knock down a wall - MEGA). There is space at the back which we think could make a great improvement to the shop, however, it will be a dusty mess, and we want to close when nobody would be coming in anyway.

Baby is growing. Actually, baby is still 10cm, but to look at my stomach you may be forgiven for thinking baby is considerably larger. That is my aeroplane lolly baby, and as a friend kindly said, fluid and stuff. I feel good at the moment, into the second trimester where it is supposed to be FUN. In my experience, pregnancy is never fun, but you never know. Perhaps I'll have a girl, and the whole thing will be different. Every old wives tale points to it being a girl, but evidence of previous pregnancies points to a boy. I'm totally cool either way, a girl would be different and interesting, but the sound of "mother of three boys" really appeals to me.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack is playing for the second time, perhaps that accounts for a certain quietness in the Wanda Harland Shop right now. Nothing to do with the unhinged, wannabe-weilding-a-sledgehammer woman behind the counter, cuddling a bag of aeroplane lollies...

Meme!

A meme seems like a nice easy way to write something... Ms Make Tea did this one, and while I wasn't tagged, I'm not above jumping on in there.

What was I doing 10 years ago?
This is the bit that appealed about this meme, because 10 years seems like an eternity ago, and I can't really believe it was real. In 1998 I owned a little gourmet takeaway and catering business in Wadestown, called Foodworks. It was a cutie-pie business, and it kept very civilised hours (5 days p/w, 4-8.30pm). Obviously there was quite a bit of prep during the day, but MTV was new and actually played music, so I spent happy days mooching around making cakes and curries and salads, and listening to pop. We lived in a fabulous huge flat in Mt Vic, with 2 cats (Jesus and Julio) and our excellent flatmate. We drank nightly, and had lots of parties. Bodega was on Willis St, and Castros was down the road. Lovely. I sold the biz in 1998, and went travelling the next year, and started becoming a grown-up.

Five snacks I enjoy in a perfect, non weight-gaining world:
Alcohol
Cheese (Kikorangi, anything really, although not goat)
Lollies (esp Pineapple lumps and wine gums)
Wedges and sour cream (a la Vicky's c.1992)
Roti chenai. Mmmmm.

Five snacks I enjoy in the real world
Mostly, see above, except I'm pregnant and not a time traveller, so:
Raro. This is a perversion of this pregnancy, it is like timetravelling, because I can't recall having it since I was a child.
Celery and tsatiki.
Anything and tsatiki, even a spoon in tsatiki, I am in love with the dip.
Aeroplane lollies.
Yoghurt.

Yep, I'm totally lead by cravings at the moment.

Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:

I'm not going to say anything good (or philanthropic), because I would, but I can't be arsed with all the logistics of who and which mortgages I'd assist and yada yada.

The shallow list:
I'd take some days off work. It has been a good 5 months since I've had a day off, I need one. So actually my days off work would be liberating myself by paying staff.
I'd buy a house with a great outlook, especially at night, so I could sit around sipping martinis and watching the sky.
I'd build a LOT of storage. It would include bottomless pits for keeping essentials like school newsletters and insurance documents, but mainly it would be a big walk in wardrobe, with shelves for shoes and handbags, like on the telly.
I'd get a Max Gimblett picture, specifically this one.
I'd get a new dining table, so that my shitty old screenprinting table could return to its rightful home, where it is much missed.

Five jobs that I have had:
Researcher
Merchandiser (worst job)
Destructorvator
Florist runner
Chemist shop assistant

Three of my habits:
Cleaning my glasses a lot (since I recently found out how fantastic those cloths are that the optometrists give you)
Touching all my fingernails in an OCD fashion.
Checking my internet banking before I do anything else each day, to see if the buggers have paid me.

Five places I have lived:
Christchurch
London (for a blink as a baby)
Wellington
Wellington
Wellington

Five people I want to get to know better:
Several of my customers I'd love to sit and have a wine with.
And apart from that, I'd just like to spend more time with my friends, since we've all got kids now, and don't have the quality silly times we once did.

Consider yourself tagged - ha!

Oh things and whatnot

• To clarify, middle age is about late 30s to about mid 80s, so please stop feeling old.
• "Why are there so many songs about rainbows?". Um, I can think of one. Please extrapolate.
• Baby is due 26th December, based on scan today. It looks cute, but at 5 cm long, I doubt it has much of a chance at the moment. Hopefully it will avoid a really terrible birthday, and be born late like its brothers.
• Work has been frenzied, and now suddenly it is calm. I think the busy times swallow my life, because I have no recollection of the past week.
• On the domestic front, we looked at underfloor insulation today. The foil is cheap, but apparently people keep getting electrocuted installing it, and since we can't get life insurance for Glen (dude is OLD), I'm not sure I want to risk it. Advice please.
• Didn't win Big Wednesday, I guess this means we're on for Lotto Saturday. If we don't get it, I don't know how I'm gonna get me an iphone.
  

Thing I hate most in the world (apart from properly badass things like poverty and crime and Amazon rainforest destruction and pestilence)

I hate radio people who work when they have colds (Jim Mora, I'm looking at you). Sure, I'm cranky and pregnant, but ewwwwww, I hate having to listen to glugged up cold voices.

I also would rather hear someone cough on the radio than listen to them try to talk when they have a frog in their throat.

Apart from that, I love everything.

Celeb spotting Wellington Stylz

I went to a jewellery thingymajig at the Micheal Fowler Centre (I was about to write "the Fowl House", but I'm not sure anyone ever thought it as funny as I did). It was pretty cool, there was a particularly awesome brooch made of silver and tampons, which I was most taken with. It was the first equal prizewinner at the show, and hadn't sold, even though it was very reasonably priced. People clearly aren't ready for tampons on the outside of their body.

I saw Kim Hill when I was there. I love seeing Kim Hill, it is part of becoming-middle-aged. Then I saw Miranda Harcourt (maybe) and then I saw Miramar Mike (blogger superstar!) it was quite a day.

Now I'm knackered and need a kip. That is another part of becoming-middle-aged. In case you haven't noticed, having another baby has made me acutely aware of my own mortality.

Hot topics for the becoming middle aged

Insulation
Obama
The crap media
NOT dairy products

Ta da!

The reason I have been somewhat preoccupied, and a somewhat crappage blogger, is that I am utterly obsessed with the BABY THAT IS GROWING IN MY BELLY. It was a very big surprise, and the timing is appalling, but I'm very, very excited.

Mind you, it has taken rather a lot of not being very excited to get to this point, a lot of being resentful about feeling poorly, and not being able to drink, and craving the very foods that I am not allowed (which is basically my brain being a bastard to me, frankly mostly I don't feel like ham and cream cheese bagels), and other mean-spirited feelings of feeling sorry for myself.

But today I saw the wee blighter. I was meeting my specialist, and he has a scanner in his office! I think that must be what all the money is for... and there it was, all cute and foetal and 11 weeks and 2 days old of loveliness. And now I'm smitten.

It has been torture not writing about it, because I am not secretive, but I figured since I'm old (as the doctors keep telling me, little do they know I'M NOT OLD). I haven't kept it secret in real life though, because I've felt like shit, and looked like shit, it is kind of hard not to say why.

From here on in though, I'll be all glowing, glorious, motherliness.

And not thinking about the fact I have a shop, and the baby is due 4 days before Christmas, which is incidentally a very, very, very, very, very, very busy time.

Fakey typing

I'm trying to type as if I'm doing a tax return, because Glen is working and I'm feeling guilty, but holy shit, is there anything more boring than going through a years worth of bank statements and adding up the total you paid for electricity? I think not.

I've got a new business strategy, which is (tentatively) named "Succeeding at online Lotto". I'm doing okay thus far, $36 win tonight. I figure the win is a nice little warm up to the bigger prizes, best not to go into shock with a Division One prize straight away. I've already promised Finn a second basin with our future winnings/earnings, so that Malo won't be able to turn the tap off before he has finished brushing his teeth. He was in hysterics when I explained the "ensuite" concept to him.

I'm sort of knitting a scarf, well, I would be if I wasn't pretending to be doing a tax return. I've started and restarted it 5 times already. I keep changine my mind about size, stitch and so on.

And I'm watching not-gay Tom Cruise on Mission Impossible Something. I have to admit, I did think he was hot in Top Gun, but I was REALLY young, and hormones have a lot to answer for.

These are a few of my favourite things

I have been a bit torn about my personal blog sharing the same name as my shop. I'm not a particularly private person, but I've become strangely shy about revealing how shallow I am to the general public (and by general public, I mean person who may spend money in my shop). I'm just not very appropriate, and I really admire people that can blog about their work and sound professional. I tried blogging at Babylicious, and it was a disaster.

So I decided to give up that game. I'm just going to spin my general shit, and when I like stuff that is in the shop, I'm going to write about it. It will be a departure from other shop blogs, who do it much better, but you know, stuff it. I'm me.

Plus I managed to make my computer recognise my phone, so I took some pictures today. It is raining and quiet in here, and I need to entertain myself.



This a set of Eames chair stamps. I can't think of many uses, but I freaking love them, and you could just become mysterious and sign off all your letters with a chair.



What is not to love about a watering can shaped like a poodle or a cow? We have pink elephants too, if that is your thang.



This appeals on so many levels. The first is very obvious (did you know the shop next door is called Handles, Knockers and Knobs? And may be the very reason I chose this particular location, so I could say "we're next to Handles, Knockers and Knobs"?). Also, the book is awesome, all about hand made tyep faces, or fonts or whatever. It is fresh off the plane from Switzerland, so very continental.



My friend makes these cards (the pic does them no favours), and they are the most beautiful cards that exist. Anywhere.



SEAM cushions just keep on getting more and more beautiful. They're snuggly, and in my dream mansion, I'd have a conversation pit with 400 of them in it.

Weekly check in

I swear to all the saints and apostles and Madonna, that I shall resume regular writing in approximately 11 days.

In the meantime, usual not much to report. I keep wanting to be all overcome with Richard Branson entrepreneurial vigour, and be able to report jumping off buildings, but mainly I just try to discretely hide my fascination with the length of Britney's hair and unpublished inappropriate posts about movie sex.

Um, business is ticking along nicely. The light is at the end of the tunnel after a period of heavy investment, which left our reserves a bit sketchy. All better now, thank god, have to spend money to make money and all that.

The dog is still cute, and quite crazy. I like her a lot more on walks now I use a head halter thing. It freaks the little girls on the way to school, though, because they think it is a muzzle and she is vicious.

And now I'm going to bed.

Good things Thursday (slightly varying the bullet point format with headings)

Cupcakes
I made some cupcakes, and some insane buttery "frosting", which involved egg whites and sugar syrup and all sorts of trickiness. They're delicious.
New toaster
Our old toaster was actually ace, but I wanted one for the shop, so got a massive one for home and now I'll be able to scoff peanut butter on toast all day long in the shop too. And at home I'll be able to feed 58 people in a single push of the toaster lever.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack
I really like being my own boss, and playing whatever crap music I want in the shop. Today it is Brad and Janet.
Teatowels
Make me happy because they're finally here.

*update, Rocky Horror is cool and all, but slightly uncomfortable when there is just one customer in the store and we're listening to Touch a touch me.

More bullets (for I am full of imagination)

• Can't stop thinking about cupcakes, went to make some today, missing paper cups. Tomorrow I will prevail.
• Loving the new Sam Scott and Bunnies on Ponies album. You will too.
• We finally have some teatowels in stock with which to make some Dishy hats. It has been a long time coming, but now we can actually take the show on the road (so to speak).
• I slept on the couch last night, due to Glen having that hideous gastro thing, and me not wanting to get it. I am still disturbed about the dream I had about Mr Dooce. Big hands. The couch lends itself to waking up all night long, and disturbing dreams. Tonight I'm prepared to risk the gastro thing.
• I know it isn't the most rock and roll thing to talk about, but holy shizz, this weather has been amazing. I love autumn, and the lack of wind.
• I want to plant a garden in the front yard. Have I said that already? Yeah, well it hasn't happened yet (osmosis doesn't seem to be doing the trick). Apparently it is a sign of having time on your hands, the pursuit of the idle rich. Dunno where I read that, sounds like a crock to me.
• Speaking of idle rich, I just bought heaps of stuff on Strawberrynet from the comfort of aforementioned couch. Reviews will follow (although I can already safely say that Origins Modern Friction is the work of the gods, and cheap as chips on Strawberrynet).
• Watching Gossip Girl
• xoxo
  

Yummy in my tummy

Beautiful!
Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

Look what was on my doorstep when I got home today. Delicious, beautiful and exciting. Thanks Oy Vey for the fantabulous surprise.

Success!

Sitting here working through our stocktake and listening to the radio, and they say that March was bad for the retail sector. Yippee! We had a good month, so maybe my 200% theory has worked, maybe without my psychic skillz we would've had a dunger month too.

I tell you, Michael Hill et al. could learn a lot from me.

Edgy. I'm doing that thing where you think of words (word association?), and everyone dies of boredom.

Clean. The house is pleasant, Thursdays the house becomes clean, and for a few hours I feel a tiny bit house proud.
Crap. Telly.
Full. My tummy, with takeaways from Kilim over the road from the shop.
Yummy. My dinner was.
Radiation. How much sitting with a laptop on ones knees can ones body handle?
Long. Days at the shop when it gets dark so early.
Yawn. I'm going to sneak into my bed shortly.

Mother's day

Thought I should mention my splendid Mother's Day.

I put my order in for breakfast (peeled apple, chopped into pieces, fruit muffins with nice fresh butter, cup of tea, feijoas). It came beautifully arranged on a tray with some lavender in a wee vase, some liquorice allsorts on the side, and a box of scorched almonds. Perfecto! And I didn't go into the shop at all. Well, that is a slight lie, I nipped in to give Glen some lunch, but apart from that lounged around on the couch eating my gifts and sort of entertaining the kids, and thinking that I quite enjoy Mother's Day.

For my own mama I got a lovely brooch from Art Divine. Available you know where...

'kinoath! A week!

I love me some swear words. I think I've spent my adult life rebelling against my youthful self, who never swore. No idea why I didn't then, but now I love it. I'm careful not to swear around the kiddies though. I just think it is a bit of a bad look, the kiddies with the gutter mouths. Somewhere Malo has picked up "phut", despite my best efforts. I'm hoping that "phut" just sounds like the noise of an angry engine, and not the genuine source of the word.

What else. Things have been a bit quiet around these parts. No massive raves, no dining with the Queen. The shop has been really busy, which is so awesome. My business plan for 200% didn't really work, but the 50% one seems to be. Maybe the 200% plan will kick in this week. I urge anyone thinking of spending humungous amounts of moolah to do so out my way, therefore making my trip to Oprah that much more likely. In fact, if you'd like to spend 200k instore, I'll take you to Chicago myself.

Business according to Ms Martha

• Pick a completely arbitrary amount of money to aim for as turnover based on rent + vague idea of overheads + vague idea of acceptable amount to live on.
• Meet above turnover almost immediately, so decide it wasn't really right and bump it up by 50% (advice: projections based on realistic figures to be avoided)
• Wonder why I didn't up the projections by 200%, and aim to be rich.
• Bump up the projections by 200%
• Wait with eager anticipation for the dozens, nay hundreds, of customers who will flood the store tomorrow, having psychically picked up my new 200% projection.
• Write to Oprah about fantastic new psychic projection scheme, she loves that shit.
• Get invited to parties at Oprah's place with Tom Cruise.
• Hail Xenu.
  

Shelf poem for Robyn

like a yearning
chasm
of available space

a tender minute
of ply
caress

a lanky plank
of splintered
plane

a poem
that is utterly
lame

I'm doing a dance while I write. I call it "horizontal extension".

There goes another day

This morning in bed I was lazily dozing quite late (while the cat's away), and listening to Nat Rad. They were talking about the nasty Austrian daddy/grandaddy, and also about the giant squid. In my sleepy state I couldn't tell whether it was those poor children that lived in the basement, or the squid, that had enlarged pores because of the dark, and enlarged irises. In my brain now those poor children are a little colossal squid as well as a little bit grandchild/child.

Oops

The camera has gone on holiday with all the blokes from this house, and I can't do an update photo of my fascinating shelves until they return.

Soz.

Florence and I are having a house party, just us girls. We talk about haircuts and stuff like that, since she is a dog, and really only interested in her coat, and not so interested in Brangelina.

Oy!

If you are what you eat, then I am toasted sesame bagel with sundried tomato cream cheese.

And now

Image033
Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

Stock!
Originally uploaded by Wanda Harland

When I started selling Babylicious on a largish scale, I needed to get a bit orderly with my workshop. The first photo shows it about 18 months ago, the second shows it 4 days ago.

It was so terrible out there that I was in fear each time I had an order to put together. With over a hundred boxes of blank Babylicious t shirts, not to mention over a dozen of those big wheelie boxes full of Dishy, both home and the storeroom at the shop were utterly packed to limits.

Until Anzac day, when we built the most massive, industrial, fabulous set of shelves you have ever seen.

I'll post a picture tomorrow, gotta give you something to look forward to.

A week goes by

Back from a lovely birthday party, where there was a real live PONY and a GOAT and GUINEA PIGS and a BUNNY, and far more importantly chippies and cake. Mmmmm.

We found out that our telly doesn't have to be a little picture in the middle of the screen, and now I'm tucked up on the couch with Fargo. Bloody brill, all big and everything.

Just need my psychic tea maker to bring me a cuppa. I'm sending lots of psychic vibes, and possibly an email, since we're in different rooms and 2 computers is so much easier than talking.

Busy busy

Mon cheres! Je suis going to parlez le franglais until je get fatigueed de est (ie now). Each year my school cert french deserts me un petit more.

Things have been kind of crazy around here. 20th of the month stuff (ie my numerous crazy businesses invoicing and paying invoices), looking at a house stuff (well, Glen went and looked at one yesterday, and thought it was ace, and I went today, and thought it was ace, but lacking in location), and the looking at the house stuff made me fret about the money stuff, and so 20th stuff coincided with fretting about money stuff, and I got a bit stressed. Another ambitious business plan has been happily ditched. The relief! It occurs to me that possibly one website, one shop and two wholesale businesses might be enough for the time-being.

All good now though. School holidays have started, and we had a grand day with friends.

We spent a lovely evening with Monsieur Mike et famille on Saturday scoffing food and alcohol.

And now I have a lovely episode of Top Chef to watch.

Adieu to you.

Wanda Harland and Cactus share a page

Yup, Wanda Harland was on page D2 of the Dom today. Not the blog though, the shop. Quite chuffed really.

A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark

Being quite ancient and all, I was quite tired last night after my adventures from the previous night. Yikes. However, this didn't stop me from staying up well past my bedtime to watch Celebrity Rehab on Vibe. Kenickie was on it! And not hot! Very decrepit in fact! Poor Kenickie. All my grizzling about shite telly, and Vibe has Peter and Katie and now Celebrity Rehab. No more complaints from me.

Partying like it's 1999

It had been a splendid weekend. We managed being home alone in style, stumbling in the door at 3.30am this morning after a brilliant party, where we scoffed oysters and consumed much bubbly. There was interpretive dancing, and it was like being in a musical, a naughty, booze guzzling musical.

Today was art group, where there was more scoffing of delicious food and excellent company. It is our turn to buy a piece, so I'm trawling the internet looking at art. I want a Sarah Emerson painting, I'll have to carefully time my hints.

It is too quiet to be able to concentrate

My children are spending their first night away with my parents in the Wairarapa.

The house is freaky quiet. We are going to drink some beer, have a SPICY curry, and then go to a party.

It all feels very 2001.

Things to do before I die

Maggie Mason has made a list of things to do before she dies, and I think I'll do the same. Mine won't be very comprehensive because, well, I'll start at number one and you'll see:
1. Blog a decent post that takes some time and effort, rather than what I can knock out in 4 minutes.
2. Paint a picture I like enough to hang on the wall.
3. Eat myself almost dead in Texas. For some reason I'm fascinated by Texas food. It stems from Oy Vey making us those dreamy Buffalo Wings (god, they were sooooo good), and I can't help but suspect that Texas is full of that kind of food.
4. Find a dinnerset I like.

Man, that was hard. I might resume my list in the future. Or I might not. Why don't you come up with some things for me?

Another day, another dollar

Yawn, Glen had to go into work today, and it has reminded us both why he (sort of) quit. He has been stressed, and I have been run off my feet getting orders out, and really I just need to be a lady of leisure.

Raspberry Foxton Fizz and vodka is helping me unwind, between bouts of invoicing and trying to make space in my rapidly filling workroom for another 77 boxes, which arrive next week. Yikes.

Tonight

One cool evening
One warm fire
One measure of 15 year old, single malt whisky (forgotten at the back of several bottles of gin and vodka, until tonight. In fact, I suspect it is now 18 year old whisky)
One extension on pressing deadline from Friday until Monday
One copy of today's paper
One candle
Two sleeping children
One devoted hound
One husband out of the house so that all the couch is mine
One good day at the shop

Happy happy joy joy

The future is here

Three signs that we've arrived at the future (from the comfort of my couch):

1. This morning on the radio they were talking about the 100 rollerblading cops that accompanied the Olympic torch through London. Admittedly, I did think future cops might hover, but blading is still bloody futuristic.

2. Our lounge has no fewer than three bean bags in it. Bean bags are the future of home furnishings.

3. For dinner tonight, I sat with my small white box on my lap, and tapped in a few numbers, and lo! Bing bong, pizza at the door in less than 20 minutes.

The future rocks.

Another mojo down the tubes

I lost my blogging mojo, and then today I lost my working mojo. I'm blaming the end of daylight savings, and um, cholesterol and George Bush and leaking downpipes. All the bad things in the world have conspired to drain me of motivation. Alternatively I could just be having a break from working all the time, and setting myself up for working tonight.

Man, I go on a lot.

Bullet lists doth maketh the post.

• Today I forgot 3 things. It makes me feel hopeless.
• On a plus side I remembered the other 46000 things I had to.
• I think my outstanding debt I'm owed may be paid tomorrow. If I get the money, I'm buying champagne.
• The universe is freaking me out. Perhaps if I ask it to send afghans, Glen will oblige. Not afghans the people, although I'm sure they're lovely, but I doubt they taste like chocolate.

Blahdy blah

I've lost my blogging mojo, and I want it back. I've tried boozing, I've tried, um, well, did I say I've tried boozing? And that didn't do the trick, so I'm going to try blogging, every day, for a week. Exciting! No theme or nothing, probably not much in the way of links, since I can't ever be arsed, and I'm not generally writing anything except nutty brain juice. Ahh, the brain.

So, this weekend has been nice. We went to a 40th last night at the dream house on a cliff. Most gorgeous house in the world, great food, all the fellas were handsome, and all the ladies beautiful. They had table soccer, which I played, and found I wasn't too shabby at.

The shop was good and busy today, which lets face it, is exactly what we're after. Things have settled into a slightly mellow pace, this of course means I've started more mad scheming. More on that later (she says mysteriously).

In other boring news, we got Sky movies, and I'm very disappointed that despite the fact I haven't seen any movies for 6+ years, everything on it is shit. The clever woman at Telstra gave us free pay movies for 6 months, because I'm shallow, I'll probably persist.

In other very-slightly-less-boring-news, I have some Curb Your Enthusiasm to watch, and some Top Chef, and they are brilliant.

Dancin'

I have successfully avoided Dancing with the Stars until about 2 minutes ago, when I turned it on to see someone called Cory dance, and I just can't help think that is UTTERLY DORKY. I have put myself through deep analysis (over the last 2 minutes) to see if I'm just being mean spirited because I'm too much of a wuss to do it myself, but seriously, NO, DORKY (I am loving of the commas, tonight, dontcha know).

Now, why don't they do a good show? Where celebrities have to dance Bollywood styles in teams? Or re-enact top scenes from Grease? And why aren't TVNZ engaging me as a concept developer?

First day failure

Yesterday didn't go so well with the planned health kick. There were a couple of reasons; there was an opened bottle of pinot gris in the fridge, and the solo parenting lark we do in the weekend (with one of us at the shop) is exhausting, and by the time 4.30pm rolls around we seriously need a treat.

That is no excuse for the fact a second bottle of wine was opened. I'm paying for it today. Bleurgh.

Oh well, onward and upward. 1st April will be a new start.

My year of living madly

With the end of the financial year I'm drawing a halt to mad living.

Really, I think I've been working to hard at the expense of my health. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but every night I've been slaving away over the computer or over a mountain of screenprinting, and in anticipation of the work ahead, dinner has been the simplest thing I can knock together (ie simple boring pasta and blah food).

So, my new financial year's resolution is to shop more. Yay! For food... I commit to at least one trip a week to Moore Wilson's for a vege and fish stock up. Before you suggest it, no, we can't make it to the weekend markets.

I will only drink alcohol when I go out, and not at home to unwind.

I will leap out of bed fresh as a daisy and take the dog for a nice walk on the beach.

I will not succumb to sugar when I'm at the shop and starving, because it really makes me feel horrible. Instead I will stock the place up with nuts and yummy things (must forget about delicious liquorice at Dutch shop m u s t f o r g e t).

I will pack myself a lunchbox as goodlooking as the one I feed my boys.

I will turn off the computer in the evening unless I need to do invoicing fun stuff.

I reckon in about 6 weeks I'll have much more energy, and a sunny, healthy complexion to match.

Big trucks!

Mr MiramarMike and his daughter and I had a lovely cuppa together this morning. The sun streamed in, and the birds chirped, and we both sort of schemed a bit. It was nice.

Then back out to Petone which is roadworks central. Really, really tempted to shut the doors, all I can see outside are steamrollers (I don't imagine steam has anything to do with steamrollers now, nor probably ever has in my life, given that I'm such a spring chicken), and trucks and gravel. Nup, no customers today. The Esplanade is also being dug up. Methinks someone should maybe have given some thought to the fact that the motorway is being dug up, the Esplanade, and Jackson St. All at the same time.

So I'm sitting on my arse eating liquorice and wondering why there aren't more actual buff road workers to watch, other than one chap in a vest directing traffic.

Good news for bloggie mates, and real life excellent people, Jules and Megan, who are all over the media. Yay guys! And check out Remy's t shirt, those guys deserve a foxton fizz.

Bullets.

Maybe today is time to use bullets for evil.

• Evil roadworks are going on outside our shop. Stinky. Although, you know, I'm sure it is for the greater good.
• I'm not really feeling particularly evil.
• That said, I was looking forward to a night in front of telly, and I had forgotten that it is all SHIT.
• But I don't care, because I have a lively imagination, and enough work to do that good telly would be too much of a distraction.
• See? Not evil.
• I watched Gossip Girl. It was a bit evil, because it dragged me away from work, and yet, wasn't great. The clothes on it were though, and the limos. Gotta get me a limo.
• Beetroot dip is evil. I love it. It must be.
• If Girls of the Playboy Mansion isn't on tonight, well, I'll be all evil and disappointed.

I'm giving up the evil bullet points. Bullet points are so cute and nifty, they can only be used for good.

Reminds me of ma kiddehs

see more crazy cat pics

What a good Friday

Malo's kindy had sent home a newsletter suggesting we hold off giving hot cross buns before Friday, and eggs before Sunday, and we thought this seemed like a good idea, make them more exciting and all that. So our hot cross buns have been eyeballing me from the freezer for the last two weeks, pleading with me to eat them, and I've been all virtuous and "nooooo little buns, your time will come, and it will be appropriate, even though we don't necessarily believe in the origins, although if we're going to have long conversations with hot cross buns perhaps we should mention that we do know about all the pagan festivals and all that shizz, but don't necessarily buy into those particular festivities either". Naturally, these conversations only happened in my head, because that is fine, aye.

So very excited was I at the prospect of my hard won buns, and they were bloody disappointing. Supermarket crap. If I ever decide to treat a holiday appropriately again, I will buy decent bakery goods.

They were slightly better at the second sitting of the day with a big Denby Arabesque coffee pot and a bit of ambience, and today we bought some decent buns from the local German bakery, and we'll try the whole experiment all over again.

I did love today. It was the first weekend-ish day we've had since early January, and I've needed it. Almost can't believe Sunday and Monday will be holidays too, and have legitimate chocolate consumption. I will make no mistakes with the eggs, they will be expensive and plentiful.

Being professional, and all that shizz

Because I'm a professional, I cannot add the Tourettes Machine to my computer, because selling baby clothing doesn't naturally lend itself to smut. But by jingo, go and have a look at the site and the YouTube video therein.

And as an aside, I've been watching Gossip Girl, which is kind of rubbish, but also addictive like Bev Hills sort of. Except I just had the realisation that I am possibly older that the PARENTS on the show. Where is Andrea Zuckerman when you need her?

I'm tipping something to Tom for the tip, but it ain't my hat. In fact, it may be a free Monteiths.

LIVE blogging #2

As if the universe is reading my blog, I sell 2 Saben bags in less than 20 minutes.

I also have many desirable other things to sell, Universe, like jewellery and hats. Go the hats!

Blogging live from the shop!

Wow, this is cutting edge stuff. I'm in the shop, and I'm LIVE. In fact, I could tell you that a woman is walking past with a stroller, and that my lunch of a pear and a K Bar haven't really done the trick, and that a purple bus (why? Why did they decide purple for the new bus colour?) is driving past.

Glen is in Auckland today, on official Babylicious/Dishy business. When he comes back we should be able to start sending out all the Dishy orders and really feel like we have a new business. Until now it has all felt a bit surreal.

In girly LIVE SHOP news, the new Saben bags arrived yesterday, and I did lots of little squeals. A particularly bad-ass bit of my personality is hoping that they won't sell, and that I will be able to have them all. But I'm sure they will, they're gorgeous.

LIVE customer, better go.

Shopping

I will never get over how many dinning tables, matresses and bargins there are on Trademe.

Universe delivery

Thanks Chris915 for the delivery of the most awesome Dutch liquorice. Sometimes the universe delivers in a totally blatant way. While I'm talking about the Dutch shop (again) let me point you at the cheese (again). It is only barely more expensive that ordinary stuff, and they cut if for you and wrap it in dinky paper, and while you're there you can grab some of the inexplicably delicious cheese crackers (inexplicable until you find you're bilingual, and can read Dutch, and see that the crackers are 23% butter and 16% cheese).

And while we're on this food rave, why not go around to Davis Trading. They've got an amazing range of Turkish olives and grilled sundried tomatoes in olive oil and tapenades, and they're all about $3. $3!! In the freezers there they have some great stuffed roti things. Ooooooh. Inexpicably delicious also (until you realise you're trilingual and can read Indonesian and see they have a high percentage of palm oil).

But since I've seen Juno, and been reminded of Tic Tacs, none of this matter, since Tic Tacs are a little known antidote for gluttony.

Gross story to put you off planes

My sister flew into Wellington from Melbourne last night. When she picked up her luggage she couldn't help notice that it was SATURATED IN URINE. She went to the baggage help desk, and they helpfully explained that it happens quite often when bags are situated under the animals on the plane.

Lovely.

Bullet point update of my silly life

• I have many orders for hats, and no stock yet. It is a peculiar feeling for someone that likes to get things done immediately.
• I realised I never comment on blogs anymore, but I read them all still. Does the RSS thing have this effect on everybody? (She asks ironically, knowing nobody will answer).
• Yeah, busy thanks. Getting there though.
• The shop is great, fun and busy. Sweet.
• I'm recommending everyone buy their cheese and liquorice at the Dutch shop. I wish I had some right this minute, if you do, could you bring some around?
• Our bloody woolly dog has felted. Like felt. She is a doyenne of craft.
• I'm serious about the liquorice.
• My brain is wobbly. Must be time for a night cap and some Flight of the Conchords.

OMG WTF

It has been 8 days since my last confession.

Well, I'm back. I wasn't really away much, two days in Auckies at the gift fair, but my brain has been elsewhere. Elsewhere being flat out busy. In fact, I'm skiving off shifting my new website to our website host (yawn), and just generally being in denial about a whole lot of stuff I have to do (*cough* invoicing *cough*).

The Dishy project is going well, but strewth mate, what a lot of work. I'll be happy when things are just chugging along, and I have a room full of stock to send out. At the moment I have a lot of contact details, and an extremely helpful ex-owner, but it is a little nervewracking getting everything sorted in real life and also in my brain.

My brain is also not helping matters at all by SCREAMING at me to go and get a glass of wine. I suppose if my brain has got me through 35 years of life it must know a thing or two. Pinot gris, here I come... web hosting be damned.

For larfs

Click here, and then refresh refresh refresh.

Then watch this for really surreal good times.

Drunk again

If I resume a social life I suspect my business will fail.

Man.

In my next life

In my next life I'll be able to dance like these chaps

although I'll be regarded with the same respect that George Clooney receives.

Hopefully I'll keep my brains, but I'll be a bloke (gay I suppose).

omg, wtf?

Well, as I may have mentioned, I am all class, and now to prove it, my new email address:

dishy at babylicious

I should set up a brothel.

Finally - an announcement!

The crazy thing what I was doing has happened.

I have bought Dishy Designs, a super cool range of teatowel products. I am most pleased, and now also a fair dinkum crazy lady, 'cos I didn't have time before. Oh well. Fun!

I loves me some Helen

I know Helen isn't exactly flavour of the month with the voters, but I still think she is the least terrifying option as leader (and that is saying something).

An old classmate of mine was appalled to see I'd joined the Supporters of Helen Clark Facebook group, and I was shocked to find that anyone that went to a Steiner school would vote National. I'm naive. I'm also prepared to admit that I don't necessarily think the Nats are utterly evil, which shows just how middle aged I am becoming.

Imagine my surprise when I got messaged last night by Mr S (a Key supporter!) to say that I was on the telly. Blink and you'll miss it, but there I am as Miss Clark's number 3 supporter...

Wry Baby

Chances are you've been sent a link to these hilarious pics of how to care for babies (today they're on Dooce).

I sell the range of stuff, have done for ages, and I have the book in the shop. Wish I could add my name to the end of every email sent...

Offer accepted

but sorry, can't say for what yet.

I'm killing brain cells...

...but not in the usual way, this time I'm using that extra half an inch.

Big news tomorrow, I reckon. It won't surprise any of you who have been reading this blog for more than about a minute.

Hot tip!

The other Wanda Harland website (usurper! - 'cept it is me, so not really so much a usurper as a multiple identity thing) has a new sign up thingy. If you're cool or goodlooking or nice or rich or interested or nosey or happy or sad or tall or short or breathing or dead, I recommend you sign up forthwith and henceforth. We're going to have a coolio booze fest with handbag specials in the shop next week, and I'd like to invite you all, but can only do so through the magic of my new sign up box.

So go to it.

Man, what a day

The first email I checked this morning said "dear martha just to say i saw your t-shirts with your label in the one two three dollar shop in Queensgate thought you might like to check to check it out".

I waited patiently until a civilised hour to ring the sender, and she confirmed that they were really mine.

A month ago my shipment of 56 boxes of shirts arrived, minus one.

I called the coppers, and they said I'd need to go in to the station. I explained to the copper (rather fetching copper, actually), that I didn't care to go through a big rigmarole, I just wanted my shirts back thnx. He checked with his boss, and their advice was to go to the shop, and remove my stuff. Daring! Bold! And know what?

That is exactly what I did.

I felt very righteous actually, as soon as I saw the shirts on the shelf I realised that of course I could take them, they were my beautiful shirts, with my cute label in them. I picked them all up, strolled up to the counter, waited patiently for the guy in front of me to be served, and told the young chap "these are my shirts, they have been stolen, I am taking them back, I have told the police". I half wanted a tap on the shoulder from mall security as I left, so I could tell my story, but nobody stopped me. As fetching copper said, they knew it wasn't kosher, and probably half expect this sort of thing.

Absolutely no idea how the shop ended up with the shirts, but I suspect light fingers in a depot somewhere.

All that happened before 9.10am, and it has been a loooooooooooong day since.

Big thanks to the divine C, and her excellent detective daughters!

It's business time

I'm at the shop, doing business, and drinking lots of Foxton Fizz to counteract all the fecking wine I consumed last night. I know hearing about someone's hangover is only slightly more interesting than hearing about their dreams, but I will just say this. I found myself in the McDonald's drive-thru at 11am this morning. Shock. This is why Bret and Jemaine may have appeared a little sad this morning that I couldn't make it.

Because once every fortnight or so, some bastard wants you to post when you're pissed

Yeah.

Celebrating Flight of the Conchords, and auld friends, and new opportunities, and the abundance of sauvignon and pinot gris in this fine country.

And boysenberry icecream.

Celebrate good times, come on.

(Afternote, because 5 minutes after the drunken post, one is lucid and full of the meaning of life, and also, I would like to make "afternote" a new word in the english language)

Good night.

Printers

If anyone has any strong opinions/recommendations about laser printers, please speak up. I need one. Black and white is fine.