New Year's Resolutions

I should probably check whether or not I managed to achieve last year's resolutions. I have a vague idea they may have included a triathlon (check!), society pages (dungdong (that is one of those "your computer is crashing dungdongs")), and probably being more jazzy (dungdong).

And for 2007:

I will pay off the new car through the sale of 46 million small shirts.

I will send more cards (hot tip: people love cards) - IN THE MAIL.

I will not make any major purchases. Well, maybe one art work, but that can be regarded as an investment in our future.

I will not be so good at justifying every extravagant purchase.

I will start cooking real food again. This means vegetables. Not til tomorrow though, thank god.

I will go to the movies at least once in the next year.

I will turn of Playhouse Disney by 9am.

Harrowing

I'm a little shell-shocked. I've just finished reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy. My parents warned me it was a harrowing read, but by gum, HARROWING.

Like my mother, I had to read it in one sitting. It is a very bleak view of a post-some-terrible-disaster-hopefully-unrelated-to-carbon-credits-world. Anything with suffering children is deeply uncool, but a barbequed baby?

It was extremely beautifully written, and has made me pretty confident that if everything goes to custard, I'd rather have some cyanide pills than a pistol and food.

How much do I love thee?

I love the new car SO MUCH that I spent $25 on a chamois today.

I got Santa to kill it.

Sun!

Crikey, yesterday was warm. Virtually unheard of in these parts this year.

We enjoyed a fabulous day in the Wairarapa. My turkey was pretty darned good, as long as you could forget what turkeys look like when they're alive. People wonder why anyone ever ate oysters, I'm more mystified by the fact we eat something that looks like a turkey.

Merry Christmas gang

I dropped the laptop a few days ago. Initially we found that if you touched the right side of it, it would shut down. Then we found the cd drive wasn't showing up on the putey. Today Glen took the back off the machine, and now it doesn't want to start, and it makes a kind of 'tinkle gurgle tinkle' sound.

I'm not optimistic about its future. Well, I'm sure it is fixable, but at this time of year I have no idea when. This means I'll be a bit quiet on the bloggage front.

By some kind of crazy witchery, my cellphone connects to the internet! I haven't worked out what this means. I suspect it means I'll get a bill for about 48 thousand euros or something, but in the meantime it is jolly good fun.

I hope you all eat too much, get a bit sunburned and enjoy the silly season.

American Apparel

Eric Watson wants to buy American Apparel, which is where I source my t-shirts. How bizarre.

Le phone, c'est magnifique.

The lovely Ms Hubris helped me buy a bargain cellphone yesterday. It has so many bells and whistles that I'm a little frightened of it. It also seems to be really keen to sell me soft-core porn. I don't actually understand what format it would be - a screensaver, or a little movie? And frankly, I'm kind of shocked. I trust they know I'm 22 years old, and I'm hoping they don't offer all this 'Tatiana strips' to every client they have.

I am looking forward to eventually being phone savvy enough to use it for receiving emails and making mini Fellini films.

In the meantime I'm trying to resist paying $5 to hear Cyndi Lauper sing Rock Around the Christmas Tree. Hard!

Thursday

Yuck, I hate the look of this blog. I'll get onto it soon.

I can't really write anything, because I'm utterly pre-occupied with wanting to go for a drive in the new car.

And all I can talk about is how lovely it is.

I took the car out to the shops tonight. The car couldn't come in (evil Westfield bastards), so I left it on the street.

People are funny, there was an absolute frenzy of people trying to buy as much loot as they could hold onto. I tells ya, having a workshop full of pressies is very good. Of course I can't say specifically what at this stage.

I am really enjoying getting the kids presents. It is the first Christmas they're really anticipating. And Malo is old enough that they can enjoy it together. Mind you, I could never generate enough enthusiasm in my sister to make her get out of bed at 3am with me when I was young.

After my shopping mission the car and I enjoyed a meander around the leafier suburbs of Hutt City. I think the car likes a little bit of nature.

Best car eva

The blog may look like crap on a stick, but the new Mini is magnificent.

Glen arrived home with it at 3am, and at 6.30am the boys and I were cruising around waiting for people to wake up for us to show it off to.

At 7.15 we spotted signs of life at my parent's house, so we took my father into work, then went to the bakery for some tasty new Mini breakfast treats.

Unfortunately the weather is shit (whodda guessed it? Wellington?), so we can't spend the day hooning with the sunroof open. I suspect we will anyway.

Aw crap

Sometimes one is so eager to embrace technology that one forgets all the work one had put into ones previous template.

One is unimpressed with oneself, and hence referring to oneself as 'one'.

On having mush for brains

So, on my birthday we had a Christmas party for the kids. It was ace. However, it meant I completely forgot to be all excited about being in the Dom Post ON MY BIRTHDAY.

Almost like the day I was born.

Except that isn't right, because nobody's parents are organised enough to place the birth notice for the day the child is born. Except people having elective caesars, and I very much doubt anyone would bother.

Probably best if I just shut the f up and go nigh nighs.

Could you tell that was a post to see if I really do?

Hmm

Blogger is telling me I have the new version, but I really don't.

A series of fortunate events

Perhaps I'm stoned, or blitzed a little on Archers Peach Schnapps (a most awesome present if ever there was one), but I'm feeling fine.

The day started difficult. We had a car to get to the garage, a child to get to kindy, another to get to childcare, a husband to get to work... it was pissing down with rain, blah.

But then I had a very cool meeting at the Dowse with Ms Sue, and then Glen kind of took the afternoon off work, and the sun came out. I cleaned out my studio, since all the stock ordering madness seems to have finally abated and I can breathe again.

We all tootled into town to take Glen to the airport to pick the Mini up in Auckland. The trip back had potential to be a complete disaster, traffic wasn't moving at all. I cannot for the life of me understand how people do it everyday. And all the people travelling solo! I'd die of boredom. So we pulled into the Reading Cinema place in town (Courtney Central?) for some evil American devil food for the kids, and had the good fortune of running into Ms Sue again! She kept us well entertained until the streets became safe again.

Home again, and Glen called. The car is a year newer than advertised. WTF??? Awesome. The newest car we will ever own is, in fact, newer.

So I'm having a fabulous schnapps in my other score of the day from the beautiful and talented Ms Oy Vey (who also sent chocolatey goodness, and if you're in the Philadelphia area, let me know and I'll tell you where to buy them.

Oh, and because this is such a moony post, here is proof I sprung a superchild and a sidekick from my loins.

i can see

I got my contact lenses today. I can't believe them, they're amazing. I walked around the mall (for that is whence they came), and was all moony and extreme makeoverish in my own mind's eyeball.

Strange thing though, when the optometrist was fitting them, she found that I have hairs growing on my eyeballs.

Ha! Got ya. Imagine that, ewwww.

So, I'm in love with my contact lenses, and it only took 14 hours to put them back in when I got home.

Hot chilli!

Mama mia, what a weekend.

I am older, blessedly I'm wiser too, why else would I have bought this most beautiful creation in the whole universe?

Is it not truly babyliciousness itself?

I'm very very very excited. It has a sunroof! And other things, like something that stops it spinning around on the motorway, and something that beeps when you're parking too close to something else (because minis are very big and hard to park), and 7 speakers.

Hot tamale.

Thanks all you lovely people for all your lovely birthday wishes, you're lovely.

Birthday

So, you've only got a few (or dozen) hours til I hit the big TWO ONE.

I'm so psyched! I've got 3 kegs, and can't wait to do my yardie.

Peow peow

Why don't you go here and vote for Public Address Word of the Year.

And vote for Peow Peow. All the others are very earnest.

Radio Rhema

I get very anxious when I travel to other parts of the country, and I tune the car radio, and find some music and it turns out to be christian rock. So much so that I do that thing where you incline your head for about 4 minutes just to be certain you're not being converted subliminally.

We had a brigade of Jehovahs Witnesses in the 'hood yesterday. At first I thought it was a party of historians here to check out the famous Workingman's Cottages. Their dress sense gave them away though, only people that go door knocking have that particular men-in-purple-shirts and ladies-in-long-floral-skirts style.

Stolen moment

I have a brief quiet spell while the kids are at a Christmas party, and this lot of screenprinting dries. I vaguely remember having time to clean and email and do stuff like that, but now I'm using my stolen few minutes to scoff toast and update Wanda.

My day may have been a little more chill if I hadn't got an order from my new stockist. I sent their first order to them 5 days ago, and they've sold out, so I'm pretty darn chuffed with that. They've ordered double the last order. Yay!

Last night I read an article about the woman who own Egg Maternity (a clothes company for preggies). They were saying that they loved their jobs, and didn't really regard it as work, and I thought "yeah right". Actually though, it affected me quite a lot, and I've made a real effort today to remember that this business is actually my hobby on a larger scale, and I'm terribly lucky.

So, an Oprah/Pollyanna moment for you all today. It is all about attitude, people.

Mini me

I've solved the problem of what car to get. A Mini!

It is perfect, and very economical. Unfortunately I'd have to sell a kidney to buy one, and then the other kidney and my heart.

Exactly how much money would the tax man give me back if I got one for the business?

Back to the drawing board.

Birthday

In case you had forgotten, it is my birthday in 5 days. I'll be 24, I expect 24 is even awesomer than 23.

Blogger beta

Yay! I've finally been offered the option of shifting.

Boo! It won't allow me to, because my blog is too big apparently. How rude.

Christmas letter

Darling all,

We've all had an awesome year, full of being awesome and doing many awesome things for others, making us even more awesome.

I hope you have been awesome too, but not as awesome as us.

Love,
The Wanda Harland Whanau

Auckland ahoy

We're in Auckland. It is very lovely. I am very hungover. I was spoiled rotton by a very generous host, and enjoyed exceptional company. We ate scallops and drank lots of wine and a delicious ginger thing that cleverly disguised vodka as a refreshing health drink.

After a bit of a slow start today, and a fair whack of junk food, we found ourself some culture, and bought ourselves a longggggggg coveted Reuben Paterson print. It is so nice, and while we were at the gallery Reuben himself came in. I GUSHED. I love him. I was looking quite mental actually, respendent in pink jandals, Petone t shirt, no makeup whatsover (which is worse than it sounds when you're almost 34 and very hungover) and bright pink raincoat. I imagine Reuben may need some therapy after the Martha-onslaught.

And now I'm using someone else's bandwidth - naughty! We're right next to a police station too. I laugh in the face of the law.

Big big big big weekend

Hola peeps.



That is a picture of me I shamelessly snaffled from Hadyn's photostream, even though it had a little copyright thingy under it. If someone is going to steal my soul, I'm damn well gonna steal it back.

The photo was taken at the inaugural Wellingtonista Fabuloso Awards For Fabulosity. It was very wonderful, and full of Wellington celebrity (cough) bloggers and website writers and suchlike. There was also an old scientist trying to give me the glad eye.

I'll add lots of links later. I'm weary, and have a bit to say, and a 2 year old, so no links now.

On Satdee we started the day with a birthday party next door. The best way to start the weekend is with party food, and basically that is how it continued over the next 2 days.

On Sunday I had a stall at the Thorndon Fair. It was lovely, and all my griping about having to do it was completely ridiculous. I had a great time, sold lots, bought crackers and dip for lunch, and then took off to another birthday party in the afternoon. I almost made myself sick with winegums and homemade icecream (aren't people classy?).

Last night I got an order ready for a new stockist, and also watched Top Chef, which I received from some friends in America. The next series is great.

And today I was up at sparrow's fart to race down to the big yellow store and pick up the Woman's Weekly. I actually raced down there last Monday too, and was disappointed not to find myself in it, but I'm such a eejit, because it was today, and I'll bet you're pleased I saved that fascinating story for y'all.


Many thanks to Ms Samways for getting me there.

Yoda speak Friday

Bored of updating other website I am.

No need of writing this one, 30 days of writing over it is.

Yoda talk I not do well.

So Yoda me mo fos. Go on. You know you can.

Last chance, for real

You have a very good chance of winning a prize if you vote in the Wellingtonista Awards for Really Fabulousness in the face of fabulosity (or something).

And you only have 1 hour in which to vote.

You don't have to come to the prize giving to win a prize, but we'd sure love to see you.

Sneak peek at my new labels

Pretty cool eh?

Without the label one could easily mistake Kevin Bobby Darin for John Spacey Keyvin.

Yes, I liked Kevin too. Although there was no excuse for that K Pax movie.

Shopping bro'

I went into the big smoke on Sunday for a bit of shopping action. Town doesn't open til 11am on a Sunday, what is with that? There were a whole lot of people wandering around aimlessly waiting to spend their moolah.

First stop was the MAC counter at Kirks. They piled the makeup on me, and I spent the rest of the day looking remarkably tanned.

Then I tried to find some clothes. Man. Eventually I ended up spending our entire household income for the year at Starfish on a pretty t shirt. Today I realised I couldn't really justify a t shirt that cost more than our fortnights groceries, and took the pretty t shirt back and got a store credit. When did $200-300 suddenly become the default price for clothing?

Wellingtonista Awards

It has come to my attention that some of my loyal readers haven't yet voted in the Wellingtonista Awards.

I know you're all goodlooking and wealthy, but surely you want prizes as much as the next person?

And if you feel so inclined you could join us for a beverage at the prize giving.

Britney Spears, I'm looking at YOU.

Lalalallalala

It is the 28th. That means after today's scintillating blog post, there are only 2 more compulsory posts and my month of compulsory posting is finito.

You may have noticed that I post quite frequently anyway. I do this because my brain ticks constantly, like tinnitus of the brain. This is probably the reason why I'm not going to discover the next theory of relativity (Relativity 2.0), even if I did manage to come up with it, before I knew it I'd be onto whether silver would work on orange Man Pants or not.

My email isn't working again today. This time it isn't my fault, as I've been reliably informed by someone far more capable on the computer than me. It has lead to me to re-examine using Google Mail as my server, but it is all so frickin time consuming and complex. Code where? The mx with the smtp of the dns wha? When I'm very wealthy I'll have a secretary, and they'll sort all this bizzo out, between ironing the newspaper and making me cups of tea. Actually, I think I need a valet to do that stuff. And my secretary will be my assistant, and they will really do all the work while I reap the rewards.

And now back to the important matter of the orange Man Pants.

Exclaim

We're all guilty of it. Sometimes what you're saying just seems worthy of an exclamation mark. I try to always remove them, usually things read just as well without. Same goes for 'just', 'but' and 'though'. Not that I stick to my own rules eva, cos rules are made to be broken, yeah?

I am, however, somewhat alarmed by some new magazines I received in the post this morning. Her Business is full of exclamation marks. I was compelled to count them in one story, because they were taking over. 15 on one page, not counting multiple instances (ie. !!).

It goes to show that anyone can be in business. Even the multiple exclaimer, or maybe especially the multiple exclaimer, squeaky wheel and all that.

Search

My favourite search ever has landed at Wanda Harland. For those who can't be bothered clicking the link:

How do you know when your long hair has turned into a mullet.

Simple, do you feel like it is business at the front and party at the back? Because unless you feel like that, it probably ain't.

Miami Ink

Now that we have Sky, it has opened up a world of possibility. For one, Glen is out of bed at 6am to watch sport, meaning I've had 2 mornings of not getting up early. Of course now I have to get up early the next 2 mornings.

Miami Ink has me hooked. All these hugely tattooed people getting meaningful tats to represent important times in their lives.

I've spent about the last 15 years trying to think of a single tattoo that wouldn't totally do my head in in a few years. Miami Ink provides little inspiration. I don't want a motorcycle tattoo, or my own eyes represented in a rear view mirror to show how significant my children are, or a 50s pin up girl, or a geisha...

I'm loving the show though, and I'm spending an unhealthy amount of time mulling over tattoo designs. How about nice piccie of Helen Clark on my back? Now that would be hot.

Haircut

Thank god, my hair was getting so frickin lanky.

All better now.

Old humour

Because I never got over thinking these billboards were hilarious, here is a reminder

Run down

Today I'm tired. Coffee hasn't helped, and I can't find my Women's Multi.

So tell me this interworld. What happens if I take a Men's Multi? Prostate problems?

Wellingtonista

You'd better get your arses over to the Wellingtonista and vote for the First Annual Wellingtonista Awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence.

There are prizes! And kudos, and that is not to be sneezed at.

Don't be deterred if you've never been to Wellington, think of it as a creative writing assignment.

7 boring facts about me

1. I'm a bit bored of myself blogging.
2. I'm getting the mullet trimmed tomorrow.
3. My birthday is in 22 days.
4. For 22 days Glen and I are a decade apart in age (yep, he is 23).
5. I'm right handed.
6. I hate goat cheese.
7. Tonight I'll eat steak.

The Don

Il est gone.

Which means John Keys.

Probably.

Smaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarmmmmm

Updat on the fire

There was a HUGE fire on Jackson st this morning. Fortunately it was a building that had been emptied for demolition, unfortunately the frontage had been earmarked ON FRIDAY to be preserved (at some expense). Inneresting huh?

Draw your own conclusions.

Petone's burning

Fetch the engines
Fetch the engines
Fire fire!
Pour on water (or that foam stuff they use on the telly)

Gin o'clock (a much better time than mullet o'clock)

Time for French beat poetry

Le mullette, c'est fini
Le gin et tonique, c'est froid (ou chaud, whichever est cold en francais)
Le orders c'est deliveree
Le vacation, c'est booked

Auckland, la bas!
Le apartmente (si in doubt, add un 'e') booked.
Le Craftwerk, au demains,
Le preparation-not-even-close-mate.

Mais, oh la la.

Regarde how well those trois annee de Francais tuition did moi.

Aussi, c'est ironique how much I don't read poetry, yet je suis clearly so gifted.

By popular demand

A picture of the mullet, complete with wispy bits at the back.

Please note the classic myspace stylings of the picture, not to mention the slight look of terror in my eyes -

-my rugby ball shaped eyes with the abnormally large pupils.



What is that saying? Business up front, party at the back....

Mullet o'clock

I tend not to look in the mirror much. This is probably how it came to be 1pm before I noticed my hair has turned into a distinct mullet.

It is days like this that you change hairdressers in a fit of "I need it fixed now", and they give you a worse mullet, because they think that is what you like, and you curse yourself for not waiting 2 weeks until your fabulous hairdresser is available.

I have learned that lesson. I'm waiting 2 weeks.

After all, I do live in the Hutt.

Craftwerk

Craftwerk is on this Thursday at the Southern Cross. I'll be there with beer, and probably chips, and definitely lots of baby clothes and Man and Lady Pants. And other people will be there with good stuff too.

Get in your Christmas shopping eh??

9 hits to go...

to 50k.

If only I had a dollar, nay, one thousand dollars for each of those hits.

Telecon

Why does Telecom think that if they send a couple of spotty youth to my door, who call me "madam", in the middle of the day, that I would change to their product?

What is their marketing team thinking?

Babylicious rises again

We've done a bit of a tweak on the Babylicious website. It has taken a lot of evenings! Check it out.

There is still a bit of work to be done on the content, and I have a few products to add, and there is a small hiccup with width in IE, but apart from that we're pretty pleased.

The menus are so snazzy.

Contacts

A world of possibility has opened for me. I'm going to try contact lenses. That means I could get 50 pairs of sunglasses.

I wear my sunglasses at night

Tomorrow I'm going to get some prescription sunglasses. I can't wait, imagine being able to drive without sore eyes, sit in the sun and see people. Cor. Apparently my eyes are shaped like rugby balls (my rugby obsession stops there), so I can't get contacts or laser surgery. These sunglasses are my one small joy as my stupid eyes get worse.

It all seems vaguely ridiculous at the moment though, another pissy rainy day here in Petoneville.

Do we like Wellington?

Hell yeah!

Why don't you head over to the Wellingtonista and vote for the First Annual Wellingtonista Awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence.

You can win prizes, and attend a fancy schmancy awards ceremony (at a bar to be specified), and surrounded by bloggers. Whoarrr, that sounds pretty appealing dinnit?

Earthquake! 11.42

Sky Man

After a devastating lack of rugby last weekend, I decided to treat the old fella to Sky tv. It is being installed today. I anticipate the blogging will become even more monosyballic (I may have invented that word - spell check has no idea what I'm on about) with this new addition to the household.

The first rule of book club...

is not to talk about book club.

I'm assuming that only applies to actual members of book club.

I've just finished this month's read. A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. He is the dude that Oprah loved, and then questions arose about the truthfulness of his book, and he admitted some lies.

I thought it was a good read. I wouldn't have believed it anyway (like Go Ask Alice and Anne Frank - good reads, but obviously heavily edited). Not to mention Adrian Mole. Anyone knows if you use 5 coats of black paint, you're going to cover the sodding bells without having to use a vivid.

Implode/Explode

I'm not sure which way my brain will go, implode or explode.

The problem?

Email.

The solution?

Well, bashing my forehead with my fist didn't help, trying to navigate Mozilla Thnderbird help didn't work, osmosis isn't working.

My email is popping up security alerts and too many concurrent smtp alerts and it is all a large pain. And apparently my account is spitting emails back at people. Just imagine all the lost orders.

Somewhere in cyberspace are all my emails, just floating like little text filled butterflies.

Bleurrghh

Weather is shit. Finn has some red itchy thing all over him.

I'm grumpy.

The good news is that the $48000 worth of ingredients have been turned into a christmas cake, and are cooking at the minute. The bad news is at the end of it, despite all the love I've lavished on it, it will still be a christmas cake. They kind of have a somewhat generic character.

Now, what to do with the rest of a bottle of brandy...

Purge

Posting things (as in going to the post office - not posting blog posts, that is kind of less of a thrill) always fills me with a big sense of relief.

These boxes represent a lot of work. They're packed to the gunnells (assuming boxes have gunnells, and whatever the hell gunnells are) with shirts.

Ode to Asparagus

Oh strange phallic green vege
You are long
And edgy

You wouldn't make it on a catwalk
With your bendy ways
You're just all stalk

But I love you raw
You taste like peas
And ironically

You make pee
Smell
Disgusting

And the slithy tove...

4.32am the dark sleepy hollow of Petoneville...

BIG LOUD NOISE

Our heroes, Martha and Glen , wake from their slumber.

Martha: (shrill voice) what was that?

Glen: (manly booming voice) I'll go see

trot trot door eeeearghhh click door eeeearghh click. Rustle of the venetians (TASTEFUL I tell you).

G: nothing

M: boys okay?

G: yep

M: is the back door locked?

G: (sigh) I'll go look

G: All the doors are locked, perhaps something fell into the bath from the windowsill

M: things don't just fall (imagines humungous rats scampering over heads of babies and moving shampoo bottles)

Glen tries to sleep. Martha comes up with 50 ways we'll be killed in our beds based on random noise.

4.42am

M: wasn't there a kind of hisssssssssssssssssssss at the end of the noise?

G: mmmm

M: Like a bottle of ginger beer exploding in the hot water cupboard?

G: you should go and check

Martha imagines the big rats licking the edge of the ginger beer puddle.

4.45am

G: (exasperated voice) aren't you going to check?

So I did, and it was, and there were no rats. There is however some soggy linen, which I'm avoiding by writing up this scintillating horror novella.

The ginger beer is very yummy. We only lost a litre.

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman

David Slack has mentioned Faith Hill's apparent disgust at someone else winning a music award she surely deserved.

The winner was Carrie Underwood, a former American Idol winner. I saw her on Ellen last night. She was incredibly stiff, and I could only conclude that she was frightened that Ellen would fall in love with her, and try and have her evil way.

Faith Hill was right to be appalled. I've seen her on Ellen too, and she was ace. She said her marriage had survived for so long because they have a fabulous sex life.

That is why you watch talk shows.

Ginger beer

Yesterday I bottled some ginger beer. I'm very keen for it to be ready, I am not the kind of person who likes to wait.

The recipe was from Meals Without Meat, by Alison and Simon Holst. I have a lot of cookbooks, I love them. Meals Without Meat is by far the best used one. I'm not even a vegetarian, but by oath, a book that has a recipe for fabulous easy ginger beer, and tempura, and African bean casserole and pesto and no knead bread. It rocks.

If you don't own it already, I suggest you buy it for yourself for christmas.

I also rate highly Jamie Oliver's books. Not only is he hot (he bloody is, no dissent please - I've met him and he is even hotter in real life), but his recipes are fab. I've never tried one that hasn't been delicious.

Mmmm, must be time for a trip to the Moore Wilson's Farmers Market in Porirua. It is terrific, and definitely worth a trip.

I'll let you know how the ginger beer goes...

Bloglines

I'm managing okay with this posting everyday thing. My inner voice is constantly haranguing me with mindless drivel, so it is nice to have an outlet to share the inanities of myself.

I think I'll up the challenge by actually looking at real blog pages, rather than reading everything through Bloglines. Once upon a time I was a somewhat frequent commenter. Now I read every post in a hurry, never comment, and half the time probably miss photos and banners and all that jazz. So I'm going to bookmark all the sites, and open them in tabs like I used to do in the old days.

All I ask is that you write something interesting for me to read and comment on...

Brit Brit

So Britney and K Fed are caput.

Lots of people are joyous.

Most remarkable, I thought, was the fact that it was reported on the 10 o'clock new on National Radio.

Edit - should that be 'kaput'? Oh well, just sound out the words, they all come right in the end.

Car time...

My parents have a new car. It is lovely. It is big and grunty and has turbo, and is freakishly fuel efficient.

Our car is pretty and whizzy and has a nice small engine and is freakishly fuel inefficient.

Why? Why? Why?

So now we want a new one, nice and fuel efficient, but pretty and whizzy at the same time. Probably about 6 years old would fit the profile. Any recommendations?

Beverley Hills 90210

Those fuggers have shown a picture of Kelly wearing the very same dress I wore to my school reunion.



She and I are like psychic lifelong pals.

Of course, my dress was green. Sometimes you have to expect psychic messages to get a little scrambled as they travel around the world.

And mine was slightly less floral, and my boobs slightly less prominent, and my sleeves slightly shorter.

But apart from that - uncanny.

Happy happy joy joy

Ikea is coming to old New Zild.

Thanks Caro for the heads up.

Carnie land

I'm just back from the Eastbourne Carnival. I had a stall with the lovely Rachelle, and by gum, what a raging success.

It was a completely foul day. The wind didn't let up, and we had stones sitting on top of everything to keep it down. We had a few anxious moments of blown away stock. Still, the public came, and they bought loads.

And now I'm exhausted and ready for a wee kip.

Hoorah.

Back on the map

We're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccckkkkkk.

Looks like removing all those hidden key words (ahem) has done the trick, and Google has welcomed us back into their bosom (heh bosom).

I'd hate to get on the wrong side of Google, they hold a helluva lot of power over the small (or big) internet store.

As an aside. It is very early, but a beautiful, glorious day. My parents are heading overseas for a week, so I'll be able to see how fast their ritzy new car goes. Boy racers better watch out.

Golden Oldies

I'm just back from Petone Rec, where lots of old fellas were running around after an oval ball. Oval? I don't think the ball was oval. Elongated perhaps.

It is some rugby thing. Hadyn wrote about it on the Wellingtonista.

There were blokes from all nations. While I haven't watched much rugby since pretending for a year solid I was really into it - to make Glen fall in love with me (which was 11 years ago now) - I do like the smell of liniment and lots character. Those teams had both by the bucket load.

Rant rant rant

Public Address has announced their new Public Address System site. I imagine it will get all fiery when the DPF commenters find it...

It has more on it than I could begin to explain, so y'all just wander over and have a gander.

I like how on this blog I can write "y'all", and feel not too twitty about it. My site yeah?

Ready to mix

I'm going to make a christmas cake this year. I've just gone and spent about forty thousand dollars on ingrediants for the thing. Not to mention on a nice cake mixer to make my elbow grease last a little longer.

I admit I was mildly surprised to see decorations in the shops, but then suddenly you get to this time of year and have something on every weekend up til christmas, and it doesn't seem so far away after all.

Of course, a week before christmas there is a far more important date, we celebrate the birth of ME. Awesome. 34.

I might have a lie down now.

I'll never understand what people have against this

hallowe'en, originally uploaded by Wanda Harland.

Violated

Well, the Google mystery thickens.

Apparently we've violated their terms. I don't really know how, we haven't changed the site for ages, and it seemed to be acceptable then. Possibly someone else has claimed we've breached trademark? We haven't. We've been trading as Babylicious for 4 years (albeit sporadically), registered our company, and nobody else has patent or copyright in this country.

I've submitted a form to Google to try and get us re-included, but the whole thing is a bit of a pain.

Glen has been busily re-designing the site, and that should go live sometime in the next couple of weeks, so if there is some inherent fault in our design, that may remedy it.

Who is ready to die of boredom?

You may have noticed a gun in your face when you check Wanda Harland recently. There, on the right, see it?

For some reason I've signed up to write a blog post everyday. I think mainly because I wanted to see if I could load the button. I did, and could.

Actually I think it is more a test of the reader than the writer. I can write shit everyday easily, the only restriction is sometimes my conscience reminds me that people have better things to do than read posts about nothing.

So prepare yourself for lots of really exciting posts about, you know, how I hung out the washing and how we had asparagus for dinner and how great our skylight is.

Our skylight is great, by the way. Just fantastic.

Teeths

On Saturday we went to some friends house for about the most delicious meal one could ever hope for.

Mmmmmmmm.

Give me a moment while I remember it


mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

all sorts of goodness including asparagus with yuuuuummmmy anchovies, and lamb, and vege tart and olives and lentils yummmm all with a hearty chaser of mandarin tart. Don't even get me started on the wines. Delicious. Sileni sticky, Villa Maria Pinot (2003 I believe).

We were joined by very goodlooking and talented people, one of whom is my dentist. I haven't seen him on a professional level since 5 years ago. I'm busy people! I've had babies, and you know, been busy. I told him that I had a new theory about teeth which involves going to see him when they hurt. He told me I'd need a root canal.

Just quietly, in my own head, I smugly thought about all that good fluoride I'd had as a child to make my teeth strong and white.

But now my teeth are hurting.

And actually, I grew up in Christchurch where there is no damn fluoride in the damn water.

Foiled.

Vanished...

My website has vanished from Google. I don't understand it. For ages I was third in the listings, and now if you Google 'Babylicious' I'm nowhere to be seen.

What have I done to upset them? I even obligingly give them money every month for a paid spot.

Parenting

I must be a good parent.

I just had to give up the vase of my dreams, bargain of the century on Trademe, because Malo was crying in the backyard, and by the time I got back the auction had finished.

This is what they mean when they talk about sacrifice. Some might think people are referring to lack of social life, figure and career. What it really means is that YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BUY THE VASE OF YOUR DREAMS.

If anyone has a white, ribbed, handpotted, 18cm Crown Lynn vase about the place, please let me give you some money for it. I need one.

Yes, I'm shallow. I don't give a shit though, so best not to point it out eh?

bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel bagel

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Blogmosis

Definition: willing things to happen by blog.

From Popbitch

Poor [Paul McCartney]. Divorcing a one-legged prostitute
who accuses him of wife-beating and he's still
the boring one out of Lennon and McCartney.

Spring is here

and alas, so are the weeds.

In winter you can ignore weeds, because all you're doing is running past them on your way to the car. By spring they're tappin' you on the shoulder to say "hola".

Under normal circumstances I would wait until a sunny day and some free time to attend to the buggers. They can't be ignored at the moment though, because we're practically getting a royal visit next week.

We live on a block where the first Workingmen's Cottages were built. This year they are 100 years old, making them the oldest in the country. Consequently, a big shindig is planned next week. The roads are being closed, there will be numerous fascinating speeches, I'm hoping for some dainty cakes, and the PM herself is due to speak.

You can see why I had to weed the garden. I'd hate to incur the wrath and derision of the PM.

I'd hate more to incur the wrath of the people that organise street parties to celebrate 100 years of state housing.

You're number 1!

Yes you are.

Well, I daresay you were at one stage.

I'm curious to know what dubious achievements you've made. Things that seemed very important at the time (you touched a Van Gogh), and in hindsight kind of see a bit lame (you got a photo of Gary Barlow from Take That). I'm after the things that you thought you might tell everyone (like you asked Martin Henderson for a light at The Box), and then found you didn't tell anyone (like you got one of those free $2 Telecom phonecards at Sesqui (sp?)).

Go on, knock everyone out with your dubious achievements. It is Dubious Achievement Day. In fact, it is Dubious Achievement Weekend.

New banner

Thanks to the lovely Kate, I have a lovely new banner.

Go and say happy birthday to her would ya?

I love it. I love that it doesn't really reflect that I'm an exhausted screenprinting crazy lady from Petone, and implies that I'm a hot patootie with nothing better to do than give you the glad eye.

That was short-lived

My relaxation has officially ceased. Lovely order for 90 shirts has just arrived.

Beeeeeeeige

To reflect my mellow mood I've gone beige. This also reflects every surface in our house, although resene would never be so tacky to admit it is 'beige'. Perhaps we'll call it 'sisal'.

I'm ready for a new banner too. I have no idea how that will happen though. If anyone is feeling nifty, please make me one, and I'll print you a t shirt.

Hectic is over!

Suddenly life seems to have settled down slightly. Thank all the gods and demons and vampire slayers.

For the first time in about 4 months I have managed to clean the kitchen and made some dinner. We have been BIG supporters of the new Fish Boys fush n chup shop on Jackson St lately. I heartily recommend them, they're the nicest greasies I've ever had, and strangely addictive. They're down at the desirable eastern end of Petone (I think it is the Mongrel Mob and council flats that really make it).

Of course the sun helps. The children can run around outside, only coming in to have bloody noses wiped and skinned knees tended. I don't think I can do another winter. All that time inside was pretty tough.

And I'm not frightenly busy, which is just grand. I'm not cut out for being a business tycoon, I enjoy my leisure time too much.

Inconceivable!

Days like today I am very pleased I splurged $14.99 on the Princess Bride dvd.

It is pissing it down outside, but I'm tucked up on the couch with Finn watching my dvd and eating cake.

Simple pleasures people.

White

It has been a big Labour weekend here in NZ. I'm looking forward to wearing white from now on, although I don't really have any. I'll have to get some. Does that white after Labour Day actually work for NZ?

It has been a large weekend, tainted somewhat by the hangover that hangs over. I participated in a fairly unremarkable fair thing in Lower Hutt on Sunday and Monday. Hardly anyone came, they bought nothing, and we had to listen to BJ Bear talk about the League to the kiddies. Argh.

Craftwerk today was like a homecoming. We got the internet buddy corner (ie. where all the cool cats were). I was next to Dairne, opposite Rachelle, within cooeee of Sue, and if I'd swung a cat I could've made contact with Melissa and Rhiannon. We had a splendid time. All the public were lovely, generous of spirit and of pocket.

I don't know who the band were, and can't quite be arsed finding out at this minute, but they were fab. The Southern Cross is barely recognisable as its former self. It is stylish, spacious, classy and has an amazing garden bar. The loos look eerily similar to their former selves, but apart from that the place is transformed. They've even got rid of the public bar.

I feel like this is the first night "off" I've had for ages, so I'm plonked in bed at a nice early hour and I'm going to try and churn through my not very enjoyable book (yet). I'm sure it will improve once I have the time to give it.

Going back to school

It seems that when I set foot on school grounds, I become 14. Which means my tolerance for alcohol is that of a total amateur, and I make a scene and have to be carried out.

Sigh.

Up to that point the school reunion was fabulous. So many stunning people, so much love for the old school.

If I'm not banned, I'm looking forward to the next reunion.

High School Reunion

Tonight I'm heading to the Onslow College for a school reunion. As far as I can tell there won't be many people from my year. I was speculating with my inner voice whether or not there were any famous Onslow alumni. My inner voice surprised me with quite a few - none of whom I imagine will be there.

The Holidaymakers came from Onslow. The middle aged amongst you will remember "Sweet Lovers" - a hit that stormed the charts in the 80s. In fact, they played it twice at our school ball. I don't know whether this was due to their limited repertoire, or our insatiable teenage desire to hear hits.

Jeremy Coney went to Onslow too. And Jamie Belich. Taika Cohen (Oscar nominee) is an Onslow old boy. Quite a few musicians also - HLAh, Shihad and Cassette all show firm influences from their formative years spent smoking dope at the skate bowl.

The young bloke who scored Ian McKellen was from Onslow also. And our maths teacher used to be on the telly. Speaking of telly, Alistair Wilkinson who reads the news on TV3 was in my theatresports team. We didn't so much theatresport as get a room to sit around in and discuss getting t shirts printed. On my theatresports team was esteemed local artist Sam Broad. He is going to be my date tonight. Uber famous local actor Peter Rutherford is also an old boy, and also part of my dating circle. Ms Hubris is a former Onslowite, but I think too young to be feeling the nostalgia that has gripped my particular crew. We'll see her at the 60th anniversary I reckon.

Who have I missed? I have many former classmates who I'm particularly proud of. My intrepid friend Joanna who has been straightening out Afghanistan for a ridiculously long time springs to mind.

Who knows who will come out of the woodwork, but I'm looking forward to it a great deal.

So, who went to your school?

Home again

Here I am, sitting in sunny - yet cold - Petone. It is very nice to be here, helped a great deal by the new skylight in our kitchen, which makes the place so beautiful I can barely express my joy. Now I want skylights in all the rooms, and trips to the Sunshine Coast while they're installed.

Lessons learned on holiday:

• Don't catch the 6am flight with children. You will be up ridiculously early, and then arrive in Austalia at 7am, ready for a very, very long day. One child may even develop a dramatic temperature, which will get you through customs in only 2 hours. It isn't worth it though.
• Don't hire a cheap car. It will be older than you, not have central locking, and make you look like a bogan.
• Don't listen to ginger ponytailed Australians talk about snakes and spiders, and how they live in your ceilings and shoes and live in the water and bite you TO DEATH - until you leave the country. This kind of discussion upon arrival could seriously limit your relaxation.
• Speaking of relaxation - travel with small children doesn't involve relaxation. Accept this early, and just go for it and enjoy Dreamworld.
• Crows are probably Satan.

I don't want to sound negative, because we had probably the best holiday ever. It was warm, warm and warm. We got lots of handy household items from Ikea, and then enjoyed parks, beaches and pools like they're going out of fashion.

And now I'm going to look at the sky, through my skylight. It doesn't get better than that.

Maaaate

Sitting here in Noosa. It is very warm and lovely, and there are a million people walking around in their bathers. Nicey nice.

2 minutes more time on this connection.

Um. Hello. Back soon.

Mwah.

Boy: I'm frightened father. Why is the water so blue? The sand so golden? My tummy so full of icecream?

Where is the wind and snow?

Father: Don't worry my son, we will return to the snow and wind in just 5 days.

Boy: And the bananas?

Father: Yes son, and the bananas.

Bananarama

Bananarama, originally uploaded by Wanda Harland.

Australia is fabulous. The supermarkets here are a triumph of international cuisine.

As long as bananas cost as much as a deposit on a house though, I won't be moving here.

Strewth.

Crikey cobber

We're here! And by some trickery and witchcraft, my laptop is working just like at home. Very odd.

We had a tres early start - up at 3.30am. It was fair dinkum dark as a dingo's bits. Everything was reasonably straightforward at the airport, although you forget how many little pieces of paper they make you fill in.

The plane was ace. Big ups to Andrea and Blondgirl and Man-of-indeterminate-sexuality who were our flight attendents. At Brisbane airport our wee boy got very hot and lethargic, which meant we managed to skip through much of the hideous queues.

We got collected by our rental company van by a very Australian fella with a ginger ponytail. Our supreme vehicle at a bargain rate is a 1993 Mitsubishi Magna, which has seen better days. You get what you pay for I suppose.

Thanks to our tipsy selves for booking a fabbo apartment in Toowag. It rocks. It is almost as big as the house, and despite a severe drought (worst in 100 years I'm told), and no hoses allowed, it has 2 terrific pools.

It feels kind of like dinner time, but is in fact only early afternoon. We've managed to buy lots of cool things at Ikea already, in a bit of a flying visit. Finn is enjoying his train set ($18.95! Fits the Thomas set!), and his igloo and no end of other bargain beauties. We're off to see a bit of culture later. Don't know what, maybe a water taxi or a XXXX beer factory.

You bewdy.

Further update on police drama

Although obviously it isn't a drama.

Turns out the youfs stole someone else's scooter, so the coppers are heading around this afternoon as it is slightly more serious than just trying to take one when one actually goes.

Our place looks like we've just helped ourselves to someone's home, as we've cleared out the kitchen in anticipation of the builder arriving on Wednesday. There is a choice selection of appliances arrayed across the table. That's my story and I'm sticking to it - no way related to any planned splurges while we're away (the kids get 20kg luggage allowance too...)

And fingers crossed that Malo's dreadful lurgy buggers off in time to let him enjoy our holiday. Wiggles World won't be the same with a lethargic 2 year old.

And while I'm in the mood for blogging...

Our plane leaves for Brisbane at 6.20am. We have to be there 2 hours before departure. I think tonight might be my last decent nights sleep for a while.

I don't know why I'm doing such scintillating blogging. I think it is because Glen seems to have discovered the computer, and I spend a lot of time with laptop envy while he tip taps away, so now I'm trying to a. get the most out of it, and b. give him a hearty dose of laptop envy.

He is working on CSS thingies for babylicious, so I can't really begrudge him trying to build snazzy menu bars. They should all be up and running in a couple of weeks, making us more irresistable than ever before.

Update

They're still not here.

Can't believe we're not the cops number one priority. What do you have to do? Actually get something taken?

I guess it has only been 7 minutes.

Police 10-7

Hi drama in the city of Petone. I just heard some banging, and muted the telly (which was crap anyway - what has become of telly? But I digress) and Glen went outside, and his scooter was lying next against the house, and he looked on the street and some youths ran away.

I got on the blower to the police pretty quickly, but I suppose since they didn't actually take it, it won't do much good. And now the police are going to be visiting, and we kind of want to go to bed.

But it was very exciting.

Good thing we've got housesitters when we go away. I can just see the juvenile delinquents wanting to steal hundreds of baby tshirts and a 10 year old telly.

Oink

Here at Wanda Harland HQ we've gone pink for breast cancer.

Over at SunnyO, Llew is offering pashes for ping. He didn't say so in so many words, but if you read between the lines, I think it is pretty obvious that is the offer.

Go on, cough up folks.

And anyone living in Adelaide St in Petone, still give to the arthritis collector when he calls. The rain has kept him away, so *cough* we're a little late...

No smiling, we're from New Zealand

I had a very traumatic time last week getting Malo's passport. It is very difficult to get a picture of a 2 year old, very difficult. My first attempt was denied by Internal Affairs, because he was smiling.

Passports take 10 days, unless you're prepared to give them a car or something, and each day was precious (given that we'd allowed 8 days). We raced into a pharmacy to get some pics, and no bull, it took 1/2 hour to get Malo to shut his mouth (open mouths aren't acceptable either). You're not allowed to have your hand in the picture either, so heaven forbid you try and hold up an infant's head.

Photos have to be a natural colour too. Malo's was too pink.

Anyway, nightmare over. The passport is on its way with the courier as I type. On its way, or stuck on the motorway. This weather has to be seen to be believed.

Anyone who wonders why we're going to Brisbane - hello - 25 degrees.

FAQs

Do you think FAQs on websites are ever real? They never seem to address whatever it is I'm wondering about.

Here are the FAQs at Wanda Harland:

Where does Wanda Harland come from?
Porn name.

Really?
No.

So?
Well, my porn name was Noski Ohiro (first pet's name, street name). Not very hot. Wanda was my tooth fairy, and Harland a name my father said he liked if I were a boy. Seemed a little more rock n roll.

How do you get time to blog?
Seriously? Have you read this blog? It isn't written after lengthy thinks and masses of drafts. In fact, I have never done a draft nor proofread a post. I'm pretty low rent.

Unasked FAQs

Oh, so you're a geek
WHATEVER. Yes, I suppose so. But I still can't make my computer work, or earn serious money.

Do you meet people over the internet?
It wasn't the plan, but I have met lots of great people over the internet now.

Did you score?
No. I'm a low rent geek. Nobody wanted to.

How does your husband feel about the blogging?
Strangely, quite impressed. He is easily impressed, which is why I love him,

Myspace be gone

Emily has hooked me up with Facebook, in fact Emily and I are virtually the only people in the world on Facebook, but I'm suggesting you all join. It is much prettier and easier to use than Myspace, and seems to be entirely without purpose, exactly like Myspace. Go on, give it a whirl.

Poll results are in

Turns out that all my readers who participated in the poll are exactly the same as me. You all like the grog, being happy and swinging. And by swinging I mean on a swing - of course.

8 sleeps til Brooklyn, I mean Brissie

Car booked - yes
Motel booked - yes, although my advice? Don't book after a few wines. You'll end up with a two bedroomed villa on 4 acres of parklike grounds in central Brisbane, with 2 pools. 2 nights will cost more than a week's mortgage. Oh well, it is a holiday.

And Wiggles World is at Dreamworld, brilliant.

So now I need another 5 nights accomodation at half the price.

And a container for all the Ikea orders I've been getting from people.

Can't wait can't wait can't wait.

Ahahahahahha

In case you thought I'd grown up and given up drunken blogging - a hahahhaha. Not 'alf. Although I'm not too pissed, just a few wines for my sister's 31st. Does that ever sound right? I think I managed to get used to my baby sister being in her 20s, but 30s? Mind you, I'm not sure I'm accustomed to being in my 30s yet, and 34 is looming large.

So, I went and had a pedicure today. Christ. I was feeling like it was going to be an appointment at the dentists, and I was bang on. Although the dentist never makes you a bit prettier, just poorer and sorer. It was part of my sister's celebrations. Happily I won't be addicted to pedicures, and happily I won't go to my grave wondering what one is like.

Weekend ahoy!

Fantastic. That's all I wanted to say. Actually, perhaps it is time for a poll... it has been so long.

This weekend I plan to...
	Drink wine
	or beer
	or spirits
	or everything
	Swing
	Perv
	Brunch
	Shop
	Be merry
Free polls from Pollhost.com

The results will be immensely revealing, and Wanda Harland's crack team of psychologists will do an in depth analysis.

Alternatively you can ignore it and get on with your life. Your call.

Very dense and obvious question that I can't get my head around.

When we go to Brisbane in 11 sleeps (yay!), and I take my laptop so as to run my important and busy life whilst I'm away (ahem) - how do I do it?

I've got the built in wifi, but haven't experimented with it beyond my house. If I can find a wireless hotspot or whatever they're called, how do I connect?

And does my mail still arrive in my mail box?

I know it is terribly obvious to you clever people, but to me it is just bamboozling.

Free champagne!

For Aucklanders. Typical.

Soul Bar at the Viaduct has free champagne for the lay-dees. If I were there I would totally check it out. Read the details at Spare Room. Sounds too good to be true, but isn't.

And if any property developers feel like doing it here, go for it. In fact, just buy me a fridge full.

Yawny yawn boring bore

Post where I tell you stuff that doesn't matter or mean anything.

a. I was the one who approached the Maori Party offering them lots of ping to support Labour. They're doing a nice job of covering it up with lots of "he"s and "overseas", but really, I don't mind you knowing that I'm filthy rich and have oodles of money to give away.

b. A very exciting shipment of fabric has arrived from the US of A. I've made some into bags, and it was very fun. I should probably try making stuff to sell though, rather than a million nice shopping bags for myself to get rid of the green Woolies ones (can't be publicly in support of Progressive you know).

c. It is dinner time, and I should be cooking something with the delivery of veges we got from Commonsense, that cost a bazillion dollars for 3 carrots and a banana. Good thing I'm so very wealthy.

d. The lunatics have taken over the asylum, and I need to go before they pull the dining table onto themselves. Turns out a 2 year old and a 4 year old are a DYNAMITE combination. Hence lack of coherent thought and brilliant writing. Or even basic vacuuming.

Bondage

Bond and Bond are refunding us the ping for the camera. Without much grace, I must say. At least they're doing the right thing. Hopefully the stinky salesman gets in lots of trouble.

The more I shop, the more I realise the internet is the place to do it.

Spot the difference (or should that be 'Clifford the difference' arf arf, or should that be woof woof - someone stop me)

Uncanny resemblance.


International readers note, the first is star of the small screen in New Zealand. That is what we look like here.

Brisbane here we come...

I always thought Brisbane sounds a bit like Brian, or Gordon. One of those kind of names.

Anyhow, we're going there in 3 weeks for a holiday. yipppppppeeee.

Of camcorders and men

Well, a story of deception and intrigue.

So. We took the dvd camcorder back, because it was a pain. Well, in fact we took 2 dvd camcorders back, because they were both pains.

I saw a good little mini-dv camcorder at Farmers (ie one with tapes) for $699, and Farmers had 15% off yesterday, so that takes it down to about $595. Yay! Then Glen thought he'd see how much they are at Bond and Bond, they are $799. Bond and Bond have a deal where they'll better the price of competitors by 20% of the difference, which usually is a laughably small amount. In this instance however the difference is over $200, so it would mean an extra $40 off.

Glen checked they'd match the Farmers sale price, and they said yes. Until they found out the Farmers price was originally $699. Then the story changed. They'd match the difference for the original price, but not with the 15% off (you keeping up?).

The sign outside said *see conditions instore. So we asked to see the conditions. They didn't have them. They said that the deal doesn't apply to specials (wtf)? They said we'd have to call head office, but they didn't have the number.

It is a wonder that they knew bloody anything.

I've emailed Bond and Bond, and got a list of the conditions. Of course there is nothing about not matching sale prices.

Farking eejits.

Where to next?

I wouldn't mind if it was a condition, but it isn't, and they lied to us to save $20. They shouldn't have these promotions if they're not prepared to occasionally pay it. It is just a stinky lying promotion where the shop staff think they can make up the rules themselves.

Grrr.

Sometimes shopping isn't as easy as it looks.

Content

I thought rather than going for quality, I'd hit the quantity button. Three posts at a time. Nicey nice.

Helicopters

There was a flurry of helicopter activity over Petone late last night. They had spotlights out and were whizzing around like in the movies.

And now I can't see anything about them anywhere. Anyone know? Another car commercial, or a psychopath on the loose?

Helicopters

There was a flurry of helicopter activity over Petone late last night. They had spotlights out and were whizzing around like in the movies.

And now I can't see anything about them anywhere. Anyone know? Another car commercial, or a psychopath on the loose?

Helicopters

There was a flurry of helicopter activity over Petone late last night. They had spotlights out and were whizzing around like in the movies.

And now I can't see anything about them anywhere. Anyone know? Another car commercial, or a psychopath on the loose?

Bridget Saunders

What is with Bridget Saunders and Bill Crowe? Is he the only person she knows outside of Parliament in Wellington?

Gah. Every Thursday I read her column and it makes me grumpy. I hate stupid innuendo and speculation, and I guarantee most of it is made up to fill inches. Who would ever know if there is any basis in fact.

"Which Blue MP enjoys the company of young men".... ooooh. Yawn.

If a town doesn't have real celebrities (and hello, politicians and Peter Jackson don't count), then there is no need for a gossip column.

Perky nana

The main reason I set up my website was because I got an email from a reporter from our main daily paper, saying she would like to feature my products. The excitement! I resisted shouting it to the world, because, you know, it would be a nice surprise. And I didn't want to jinx it. The reporter said she loved my stuff and would like to buy some, and would I consider giving some of my shirts to her for some goodie bags she was making up for the hospital.

Of course I said yes. I'd like to pretend it is because of my philanthropic nature, but lets be honest, I knew that if she was asking for something, saying "no" wasn't going to help me get into the paper.

And then I waited. And waited. And talked to some people who were also waiting. And emailed the reporter. And waited.

Now word on the street is that my friendly reporter has been stood down for lack of communication, and not returning stock. These rumours haven't been substantiated by anyone official yet, so we'll see.

Camcorder update

So, we got the Sony, and it is fine and does the trick. However, complaint no. 1. You can't just plug it into the computer and download the movie. You have to put the disc into the computer. This would seem okay, but in my experience the dvd drive is less reliable than the usb port. Also, the camcorder goes on about how you can shoot and then put your dvd straight into your dvd player. Slighty techie boring bit to follow. To edit the dvd on the player, you have to record in VR mode. Dvd players don't like VR mode, and don't play it. Some might, but our quite good dvd player won't, and our neighbour's very good dvd player won't. So, if you want to edit your movie you have to download it to your computer. This takes ages, and as far as I'm concerned you may as well be using a tape.

I think our next step will be to swap our Sony camcorder for a tape one. The shop will really be loving us. Any recommendations are warmly encouraged.

I really thought getting a dvd camcorder would be the simple option. How wrong I was.

Summer

It was summer today, fer sure. Several times I stripped down to my t shirt.

Awesome, finally global warming is doing the right thing, and has got rid of our crappy spring.

And whose idea was it to have big wide gates from the playground at Waitangi park onto the two roads beside it? Big, tempting, wide gates. A mother could die from nerves in a situation like that, or get cranky and drag the kids home where there are nice big gates EVERYWHERE.

Secretly goodlooking

I was at gym this morning, and Bon Jovi came on the big screen. This made a pleasant change from the Black Eyed Peas (bleurghhghghgh, since the Fergie peeing incident...). And Jon Bon Jovi was horrible with that hair. Honestly, I couldn't see past it. A big bouffy perm on a fella just ain't hot. But then he cut the hair, and it turns out he is very beautiful.

So I'm wondering, who is secretly goodlooking?

I think Paris Hilton is secretly goodlooking, but it is hard to see past the excessive skankiness. There must also be some secretly goodlooking politicians - surely. What about Maharey?

And conversely, there must be some secret shockers. People who are photoshopped and nipped and tucked beyond actually knowing what the hell they look like. Posh springs to mind.

Random and Easy

Malo is 2 today. Farewell babyhood! Hello terrordom!

We thought it time to get a video camera, after months or thinking about it. We bought a cute little Canon dvd camcorder thing. Warning. Don't buy a frickin Canon dvd camcorder, no matter how cute and how reasonably priced. After downloading the software it came with, and puzzling over its lack of workingness, we discovered in the manual that it won't work until registered online. However this presented a problem as we didn't have the cd key. Then on another piece of yellow paper in the box we discovered that we actually needed to download an update off the website - so we did that. The 622mb download took a while, but we figured it was worth it, or we'd never be able to play anything we recorded (turns out Canon doesn't work with any other software than its own). Long story long. Didn't work. Nor did the dvds play in our dvd player as it promised in the box

So the camcorder is wending its merry way back to the store as I write, and as I uninstall the 1.5gb of software installed so far. Fingers crossed Sony will do better.

The box said random and easy. It was certainly random. Bastards.

Tin foil helmet

Stephen has been getting up to mischief. He has dissed a crap product on his blog, and now been served papers to remove the offending post. Maybe I'll be served papers for calling it a crap product. If they send me a private detective he'd better call me a dame.

So, discuss amongst yourself what this means. Can we diss crap products? And as for the science of it, well, I know what Glen will be discussing around the morning tea table at work today...

Eeek

I have taken the plunge and paid for some advertising. I figured that people weren't receiving my messages to shop at babylicious by osmosis, although bloggers seem to be very receptive to my repeated hints, and rate as my number one customers.

So as soon as the frickin dumbarse system decides to work you'll find me at www.kidspot.co.nz. Fingers crossed it will generate piles of traffic (since they seem to buy all the google top spots).

Affair

I've finally admitted to Glen that I had affairs with Doug Howlett and Sam Hunt.




















And then I told the boys.

Quiz Night

We went to a quiz night last night. Our team comprised of myself, Glen, my sister, two young Japanese boys and a lovely Japanese woman who is staying with my parents. Our team was called Turning Japanese. We decided to save our Joker card for the food and drink round, figuring it was our best hope. The quizmaster looked at our team as he read the first question, and said "this should be no problem for the Turning Japanese team - how is Sake commonly drunk? Cold, warm or hot". He couldn't have asked a more difficult question. Loads of debate (although we all agreed), but how to answer? It is served hot and cold, depending on style of sake, season etc. But we knew that the answer was unlikely going to cover both bases. We conferred with our neighbours (all former Japan residents also) and the quizmaster.

And wrote warm. And we got it. But it is wrong.

In fact, in Japan they have a song which goes (in Japanese obviously) "Don't Drink Warm Sake".

Heh

I've just been in the backyard painting a table. It is for kindy, and has been waiting for me to paint it for approximately 17 years, but due to bad weather it hasn't been finished. I thought I'd crank up some music, but the only thing in the stereo in the sleepout is a Glen Campbell cassette (cassette!), left over from when we owned a bach, and had a bar there, and played music like Glen Campbell, and drank much, and it was all great and ironic and great.

And now I'm inside, and the neighbours are having to listen to Glen Campbell. Ha ha ha.

This is the everyday housewife getting her own back on the world.

And now I'll scuttle back outside and put something hip on, so they don't think I'm a complete eejit. Perhaps some Patsy Rigger will do the trick.

Lazy hazy crazy days of springtime

I don't seem to have any time anymore. This is by way of an apology for having nothing to say either.

Next week I anticipate having some time on Thursday morning, so perhaps I'll have something to say then.

Over and out.

Gas

I went into the city today expecting some kind of dire third world carnage. People would be eating cold pies, and shivering after their cold showers. I had heard that it was quiet in town, so anticipated a clear run through.

As it happens, the gas stoppage has had no discernable effect to the passing motorist. People were putting on a brave face, driving their cars and eating at the cafes.

Actually, to be perfectly honest, I was surprised to see so many road blockages where there was work underway on the pipes. And on Thorndon Quay we saw real live flames. Finn looked very concerned and asked if they needed help putting them out. I told him they were burning the pipes to get rid of the water. It will be a bugger when he gets older and stops believing my made up explanations.

And in case you thought I might be able to write something that doesn't mention shirts. Well, I can't. If you're in Auckland and in the vicinity of Sylvia Park or Newmarket, please check out the window in The Homestore. Apparently as of tomorrow it will be very babylicious.

Channeling Steve

Since the croc hunter died yesterday have you found yourself saying "crikey" a lot?

I have said it at least 400 times since his demise.

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Short

I'm not very tall. And when I get an email from Elmo Levy telling me about this fantastic growth hormone product, what choice have I but to read the fascinating data?

Except I'm confused. The letter is really from Lemuel Fulton.

Enough already! I wouldn't buy their product anyway, but the names they come up with - Elmo, Lemuel, and from my junk folder...Zina, Lucia and Ophelia.

Actually, on second thoughts, perhaps I'd just like to party with this gang. I suspect a Martha or a Wanda would fit right in.

Shirts shirts shirts

This blog has turned into a shirt blog. I eat them, sleep them and primarily make them. The Man Pants were a welcome diversion, but they're all gone now. There are a lot of wetas on blokes backsides at the moment.

I'm going to miss the first book club meeting tonight so I can iron 144 shirts. There should be some relief tomorrow once they're all sent off.

I'm completely loving it. It is great to have something fun to do, that could potentially earn me some ping. At the moment all monies are spent on (you guessed it) shirts, but we've also had to get a printer, guillotine, eyelet punch... and all manner of scintillating purchases.

I haven't had a martini for a week. Now that is dedication for you.

Tarnation

Our house isn't worth millions of dollars. Big of a bugger, but nevermind.

I'll just have to get back to printing the 144 (gasp!) shirts that a shop has ordered.

And work out how to do a packing slip (I'm trying very hard to look professional).

Free property report

Far be it (or farbeit) from me to recommend a bargain, BARGAIN!

A free property report from QV worth $70 - I'm just waiting for mine now. And yes, I did my own place. Although it could lend itself to excellent stalking or nosy-parkerness if one were that way inclined...

I'm anticipating our house will be worth 12 million, and I'll be able to sell it, buy a yacht and live the life of luxury I so deserve.

AWESOME!

Is everyone ready to embrace the 80s yet? Fashion seems to be dealing to them. I tells ya, I avoided bubble skirts (for that is what tulip skirts were then), and I shall be avoiding them this time. Ra-ra skirts on the other hand...

And the music - yes! Not all that clever Jesus and Mary Chain and Echo and the Bunnymen and JPS and stuff that I listened to then, but the fabulosity of Icehouse and Foreigner and Culture Club. I was too busy trying to grow up in the 80s to appreciate the mainstream stuff. However, a cd arrived today from Ms Lisa, and by gum, I put it on and Malo and I danced. I tried to film Malo so you could all be entertained by someone else's one year old (yes, I know), but he turned all grouchy, so is in bed while I listen to Starship.

A cd with the Hoff on the front, starting with Simple Minds and finishing with the Final Countdown. Sweeeet.

Purple

Oooh, I am much soothed by new colour and not trying to read white on black background any more.

Learning a bit of html has been quite fun actually. Maybe a new colour each day is in order.

Jokes, of course.

Bad blogger

I'm not doing very well with the blogging this week. It seems to have been shifted from the forefront of my mind.

And in fact, today I'm lying in bed feeling a bit sorry for myself. It could be a hangover from the kindy disco last night, although all that was consumed was a hamburger and cake.

Erghh. Just writing 'hamburger' has made me feel slightly worse, so perhaps that is the culprit.

Or the fact that Glen took a day off work so we could enjoy the sun. This usually leads to Murphy's Law stepping in and giving him a legit sick day reason right after he has used annual leave.

Man Pants

I've got a cheeky new range of men's undies for Father's Day. Unfortunately the photos on the website are TERRIBLE. I took them late last night, and I was tired and under the influence of some chardonnay. I'll have to take more today. I need some hot male models. Lets face it, we all need some hot male models.

They're called Man Pants. We had lots of ideas for names, but Glen said they weren't very positive. Like Gunshy and Pistol Pants.

The undies look cute as a button on.

Wahoo!

Olaf is free!

10 words

Date scones with quince jelly and a strong black coffee.

Website madness

Lovely David Slack has linked to babylicious, which is fabulous, and generating lots of lovely traffic. Unfortunately the website is all going a bit nutty in terms of gnarly white borders showing up everywhere in IE and stuff like that.

Thank goodness for sleeping boy, and National Radio on the laptop, and sun in the bedroom. And what am I doing? Blogging with my precious time! I think I'm procrastinating because I know you'll all be looking at the website thinking "shabby shabby shabby". I'll get there. My shopping cart is almost ready to go too. Well. Almost in that it looks good, but linking it to the site?

Ay ay ay.

50 to go

Hey, my statcounter is almost at 40k. How about everyone stops reading me on their feed readers today, and clicks through, and we'll mark a new milestone with some champagne and martinis. Virtually of course. Well, I will really, and you can all imagine how good it will be, because most of you are probably stuck in offices doing things that keep the world ticking away, and bread on the table.

I really want those kidnappers to let Olaf Wiig go. It is very yucky and anxious making, and Olaf and Sven are a couple of Wellington hotties, and Olaf (nor anyone in fact) doesn't deserve to be held hostage. I'm super relieved that Olaf is okay, but please kidnappers, let him go! We loves him here in Wellywood. And Anita McNaught must be beside herself.

Does anyone remember Skits? The show? And they did a very good Anita McNaught parody called A Meter Maid Not.

Update: My sister has pointed out my info is a bit confusing. Sven and Olaf are a couple of hotties from Wellington. They're twins, and were always a bit of a gorgeous novelty when I was a youngster, being as they so hot and all. Olaf has been kidnapped.

Penpal

I have this rockin' penpal these days. I heartily recommend it.

Look what I got!

Thanks so much Oy Vey. You da bomb. And I da gangsta (it seems).

I'm onto my second bag of Combos already.

Ay ya

Might be curtains for stitch and bitch. Hardly anyone showed last night. Heaps came the time before, but I can't be arsed organising and paying for it if nobody shows up. Sayonnara s'n'b.

I don't mind at all really, it was nice while it lasted, but now I'm so damn busy in the evenings with millions of little tiny shirts (I wish it were millions, imagine, I'd be rich!) - I'm happy to give it up.

Hahahahhahah, take that Martha Stewart

Famous I tells ya.

My scone recipe anyway.

I'll knock the other Martha off her perch yet.

Dolly bird

I quite often have schemes and plans. Yesterday I had another one, although I'm well aware it will last about 7 minutes.

I thought I'd try and become a Dolly Bird. What could be sweeter? I put on moisturiser and flossed my teeth. Then I managed to blow-dry my hair into a mullet. So I gave up being a Dolly Bird yesterday.

Today I managed to make my hair not look like a mullet, I went to the gym, and I dressed in something other than a hoodie.

We shall call this Day of the Dolly, and hope that I manage slightly more Dolly-Birdish behaviour in the days to come. I'm vaguely thinking about leg waxing in the summertime, but I don't want to go completely overboard.

Brena is back

Everyone go and say hello...

Holiday!

Finally, I have a small holiday to look forward to. Come December we'll be jetting to Auckers for a few nights, and then up to Whangers for a couple of nights and a 90th (I think) birthday party. I hear they're the ones to watch for - 21st parties feature kegs, 90ths star p pipes and crack.

Granted our holiday is some time away, but by jingo the new Air NZ Grab a Fare special rocks. We're all flying there and back for less than $500 - no mean feat when we all have to pay. Plus we had some air dollars to get rid of, so half the price again.

And question for all you experts out there (completely unrelated to holidays). Someone from Louisiana has asked about stocking my shirts. How hard is it to export? Is it as simple as putting everything in a bag and posting it? Or do I need to deal with Customs or something?

Fly My Pretties

Watching the rerun of Weeds, and when I watched it the other night I didn't notice the music by Fly My Pretties - cool! Well, specifically Age Prior and Tessa Something or other...

High School Musical

I saw the music video the other day from High School Musical. I actually thought it was some indie band being incredibly ironic, and I actually thought the indie band was called High School Musical, and I actually thought that was quite clever.

So I had to watch the movie when it was on tv tonight. I bloody loved it. I didn't actually see much of it, as I was sewing labels into shirts (yawn). But I didn't really need to see it, because it is just Grease, but I mean that in a very positive way. I listened though, and yay for pop songs and musicals.

It is my major regret about the universe that we don't all burst into song and synchronised dance at the drop of a hat.

Although we saw what happened to Buffy when it hit the Hellmouth.

Business Report

Babylicious has been kind of business-like for almost a month now. Kind of. And it is going really well.

I've got labels and tags, shelves and stock, even stockists. It is supremely fun, and as long as I can keep it at this level (ie. just me running it from home), I'll be as happy as larry.

I haven't got any aspirations to boot Pumpkin Patch and JK off their perches. I got a catalogue in the mail from JK today, and I just think I'll never be able to cater to the people that want their wee girls in capri pants with a shirt with pink seahorses on it.

I do have some ideas that are going to appeal more to adults though. Particularly male adults. I'm not sure what to call it though, babylicious seems a bit seedy when big people are involved. Maybe Wanda Harland the Brand will finally be born.

Bunking

Another gorgeous day, and we're going to wag kindy and drive up the coast.

When I was a young 'un wagging was called bunking. I suspect that is a Christchurch-we-wish-we-were-a-small-english-town thing.

Frost

Wow, frost! In the balmy, sub-tropical (okay, seriously sub-tropical) haven of Petone. Which means today is a triumph of glorious frosty sunshine. And worth the cold toes in the morning.

And somehow my wee sub-tropical paradise has started attracting the tuis. We're going positively native around here. I credit my planting of some tui-attractants, although really they seem to just like the macrocarpa next door.

Man, I've gone all natural. I'll have a martini and get back to you with some crap shortly. It is the sun playing havoc with my brains.

Toy Love

Check out my Unky Paul here. He is the handsome bugger in the middle.

My future is mapped

Apparently when Finn is 32 and Malo is 30 they'll live in a house on top of our house, and I'll have babies for them to look after.

Which means I'll be a medical miracle.

And living in a tiny house in Petone with 2 grown men in the attic.

Flowers in the Attic.

Cold

Remember global warming? It was like a sweet promise for the future. "How bad can global warming be?" we asked, as we shivered into our hot chocolates.

But now dammit, they've changed the rules. Bloody climate change. Its all tsunamis and slips and low cloud cover and fog over Wellington airport.

I want global warming back. It sounded nice.

The World's Fastest Indian

I finally watched The World's Fastest Indian. I liked it. Not massively, but quite a lot.

Did anyone else notice that Bert Munro's brother was called Ernie?

Bert and Ernie, Ernie and Bert.